In Possession of the Drawing Pin
by Eihwaz and Lourdaise
Summary: Sometimes the idea of bursting a bubble is tempting. Same goes for egos. An LJ fic from 1st year to... however far it gets!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm not going to waffle for ages... i'm just here to say hi and remember to R&R! Constuctive criticism is appreciated, although it is to be remembered that my beta reader is a perfectionist! (Eihwaz: Muahahahahahahahahaaaaa) I have spent as little time as possible on the years until seventh year... rating will probably go up... um... hope you enjoy it! Lourdaise  
  
In Possession of the Drawing Pin  
  
James  
  
Chapter 1  
  
I stared impatiently at the ticket barrier and tried to ignore the noise of my mother's voice, droning in the background. I had given up trying to interrupt - clearly, she would say what she had to say however long it took. Whether it meant I missed the school train to Hogwarts or not - a scenario that was increasingly likely looking as time went by - she was not one to voluntarily stop talking, especially when she was 'impressing something upon me.'  
  
I watched as student upon student leaned against the barrier and slipped through into the magical world - others, many of whom I guessed to be new like me, hurtled at the barrier with closed eyes and a grimace. Nobody would ever catch me doing something like that - I had an image to preserve, however unlikely it looked that I would not collide with that unmistakably metal machine, however unwilling I was to just stroll on through. I was James Potter - and that meant I was the king of chilling, the one who didn't stress. At least, not outwardly.  
  
A boy with black hair caught my eye as he sauntered towards the gateway to platform 9 and 3/4. He turned at the last minute to wave to someone I wasn't quite tall enough to see, and saw me. His eyebrows raised and he sniggered as I quickly exaggerated my expression of boredom and rolled my eyes.  
  
I realised that Mother was waiting for me to say something. "Look, it'll be fine," I said irritably. "Don't worry about me so much!"  
  
"I'm not worried about you," she exclaimed, exasperated. "I'm worried about your teachers!"  
  
"Oh, come on," Dad said - I flashed him a grin of thanks. We help each other with Mum. "I'm sure they're perfectly capable of dealing with a few pranks. You'd better go, James - shall we come?"  
  
"No, no," I said hastily. "I'll write," I promised, pushing my trunk round in front of me as I began to head to the barrier.  
  
"Yes, well - be careful who you make friends with," Mother said anxiously. "And behave!" she called as I leant against the barrier, raised one hand in acknowledgement - and dismissal, but she needn't know that - and they disappeared from sight.  
  
The other side of the gateway was a different story. There were no muggles - non-magic people - at all, just anxious parents, harassed students and an entire menagerie of animals; largely, I noticed, owls. I saw a couple of older boys with their wands out, looking ready to dual on the platform, and watched carefully. That could be me soon, after all. There was no sign of the black-haired boy, and nobody else I knew was there. After all, my parents had raised me in a muggle neighbourhood - I had an understanding of magic, and of course flying, but thanks to them, I had no useful contacts. It was something I deeply resented at that moment, as I watched a group who were clearly new like me, but had already formed a pack to terrorise the rest of us. Well, once I had established my own ring, they wouldn't ever beat us, I vowed. But until then...  
  
I hauled my trunk onto the train, into an empty compartment, and slumped in the seat by the window. If there was nobody to talk to, I would just have to check out the other students visually.  
  
Most pupils that I could see didn't fill me with excitement. There was a boy with pale brown hair and wide grey eyes standing just a couple of metres from my carriage with his father. Not far from him, a podgy, short boy with muddy brown hair was eyeing the mob I had spotted warily. Amongst them, I could see no friends for myself. My parents had drilled into me, if nothing else, a hatred for the dark arts - and these kids, if incapable of anything more than a mild hex now, emanated darkness. Particularly a boy at the back with greasy, slimy hair and pale skin caught my attention. He raised his head as I watched him and looked across. I shivered. Maybe not all those boys were so innocent even now.  
  
So. That was the boys I could see. Most of the platform was blocked from view by the wall of gossiping fifth and sixth years, and parents. I turned my attention to spotting girls.  
  
A couple of girls that looked to be in my year were visible. One had long brown hair tied back in a ponytail - she was, I supposed, reasonably attractive, but nothing special. The other held no appeal for me at all - too blonde, too pale, no sparkle. I sighed. This was supposed to be the most exciting school in the country - the best wizarding school in the world! - and what had happened so far? I had seen one potential friend and lost him, and seen a couple of uninteresting girls. Where was everyone else? It was nearly time to go.  
  
I heard a teacher shout to the prefects to come to the front carriage - the barricade of people broke up to reveal other pupils. Two heads of black hair caught my eye, but neither was him. Both girls turned as the five minute warning was announced, and I began to feel more hopeful. These two - twins, perhaps - looked more promising. My gaze roved on, over abandoned trunks and tearful parents, searching - and then I paused. A flame of red hair had arrested my eyes. Now this was more like it. The girl, whose hair was held back in a long braid, was not pretty-pretty, or even, correctly speaking, beautiful, but her bright green eyes, as I focused on them, seemed to sparkle with a quality that I was not used to. It was deeply alluring.  
  
My eyes followed her - my first target.  
  
"Think she's hot, do you?"  
  
I jumped. The boy with the dark hair was watching me, laughing silently. "Well... you know..."  
  
"Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. It's the eyes... Mind if I sit with you?" He plonked himself down opposite me before I could answer. "I prefer the more malleable type, myself. Leave the pranks to me."  
  
I sat up straighter. "Pranks, you say?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Got any ideas yet?"  
  
His eyes began to gleam as well. "Sirius Black," he said, holding out his hand.  
  
"James," I responded. "James Potter."  
  
"Right," he said. "As I was saying..."  
  
We had the compartment to ourselves for most of the journey. It transpired that Sirius, too, did not know anyone here.  
  
"At least not anyone I want to know," he said sourly. "There's Marcius Malfoy and his crowd - you might know of his father?"  
  
"Yes," I said carefully. "Yes, a bit."  
  
"Hmm. He and his brother, Lucius - every bit as bad as their father, and grandfather before that. Nasty pieces of work. Slytherin from top to toe."  
  
"How do you know him?"  
  
Sirius' face closed. "My parents... know his. So tell me, which house do you reckon you'll be in?"  
  
"Oh, Gryffindor," I said confidently, but I was bemused by the abrupt change of subject. There was clearly something behind this secrecy. I would find it out soon enough.  
  
"Yeah..." he said hopefully. "Yeah, I'd like that too."  
  
I was one of only a few, I discovered as we waited for the sorting, who were not under the impression that we had to go through a test to be sorted. My father had told me enough about the Sorting Hat and its songs for me not to be nervous about that aspect.  
  
"You will all come and sit on this chair when called, place the hat on your head and wait for its decision," a woman who had introduced herself as Professor McGonagall told us when the hat had finished this year's song to a round of applause. "Then you will leave the hat on the chair and go to the appropriate table. Any questions?"  
  
"Yes," I said. Sirius and I had agreed this on the train. "What if it sorts us wrong?"  
  
"It won't," she said with an air of finality.  
  
"But if it did? How would you know?"  
  
"I think you will have an idea already of where you should be, Mr..."  
  
"Potter."  
  
"Mr Potter. If it sorts you somewhere where you do not expect to be, please talk to me about it later. All right?"  
  
I stared at her for as long as I dared, and then shrugged and nodded. "'kay," I said.  
  
"Thank you," she said coolly. "Right. Anderson, Chloe," she called, and one of the dark haired girls I had seen on the platform went to be sorted.  
  
"Ravenclaw!" sang the hat after a pause.  
  
"Attley, Eric!"  
  
"Hufflepuff!"  
  
And so on. I waited impatiently for my turn. Sirius was lucky being so high in the alphabet - "Gryffindor!" was the verdict for him - but I had to wait ages. I saw the girl with the red hair being sorted; Lily Evans was her name. She too went into Gryffindor. I watched jealously as she slid into the seat opposite Sirius and he leaned forward to talk to her.  
  
"Potter, James!" At last, I thought as I paced towards the chair. About time.  
  
"Yes, it is hard being so far down the alphabet," said a voice in my ear. "You've got quite a temper in here, I see." I grinned. True enough. "Yes... quite a brave little thing. Another Potter, I see? All your forerunners were Gryffindors... is that where I should put you?" Yes! Yes! "You want to be a Gryffindor, do you? Well, your wish is my command. GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
Sirius raised his hand in a high five as I collapsed into the chair next to him. "Excellent," he said. "I knew we'd be in the same house."  
  
"Do you two know each other, then?" said a voice to my left. I turned to see the boy with the pale brown hair I had spotted earlier.  
  
"A bit. James Potter," I said, holding out my hand. "And that's Sirius Black."  
  
"I'm Remus Lupin." We shook briefly. "Pleased to meet you."  
  
We - Sirius, Remus and I - talked for the few minutes that it took to complete the sorting. I was intrigued. Remus seemed fairly reserved, although undeniably friendly and humorous. He too expressed an interest in jokes and mischief - one for the crew, I decided. Things were not going badly, considering; already I had a gang of three. All I needed was a couple more boys and this Lily Evans as my girlfriend, and I would be fit for ringleader of the year group. Better me than that Marcius Malfoy, after all.  
  
There was a noise of a chair being dragged back and Albus Dumbledore, our headmaster stood up. The hall fell immediately quiet - I could see why. Already I felt an instinctive awe of him. He cleared his throat and beamed round. "I'd just like to say a few words of welcome to the new first year," he said cheerily. "Those words are - eat, drink and be merry!"  
  
The plates in front of us filled spontaneously with food. I was reminded of Limony, our elf at home, and ignored a pang of home sickness. That was the last thing I needed, I thought determinedly as I reached to help myself to food.  
  
Sirius and Remus were both digging in happily too, as was the stocky boy I had seen on the platform earlier who was sitting opposite Remus. Lily Evans was staring in amazement at the plates. "Are you okay?" I asked. It's never too early to impress, after all.  
  
She glanced at me. "Well, yes, I guess, only... How did all this food get here?"  
  
"You mean you don't have a house elf?"  
  
Her eyes narrowed. Wrong thing to say, I cursed myself. "No," she said haughtily. "I don't."  
  
Muggle born, I surmised and was interested. "So how do you get food?"  
  
She was scornful. "We 'muggles' have ingenious things called ovens that you put food in. We don't all rely on servants and magic words." With that she turned pointedly to the girl next to her and launched into conversation.  
  
Sirius sniggered beside me. "Not the best start, mate," he said. "Already put your foot in it!"  
  
"Oh, shut up," I said. "Doesn't matter to me what she thinks of me. It's her loss."  
  
He nodded. "Wise decision," he agreed. "Like I said, find someone more malleable."  
  
Remus smiled but said nothing. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I have decided to upload two chapters at a time, at least for now... nowt else to say... R&R of course... Lourdaise.  
  
Our first lesson at Hogwarts was Defence Against the Dark Arts, to my delight. Dad, an Auror, had brought me up to have a basic knowledge of defence already. Thus it was that I breezed through the lesson, earning ten house points for Gryffindor and my share of malicious looks from the Slytherins. The greasy boy I had noticed the day before was particularly annoyed. "I suppose you've read the textbooks, have you?" he sneered as he slimed past my bench.  
  
"No," I said smoothly. "Natural aptitude." I waited until he had passed by and then leaned towards Sirius. "Can I count on you as an ally against him?"  
  
"Certainly," Sirius grinned. "Oily little Severus Snape."  
  
"Me too," Remus added. He had received a similar comment, due to his own success. We three glared, united, across the room, as Snape rejoined his friends.  
  
"Jealous git," Sirius sneered.  
  
Next came Transfiguration, then Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology and finally Quidditch. I had few problems; both Sirius and I had quickly established ourselves as top of the class in almost every subject. Remus had replaced Sirius at the top in Defence against the Dark Arts, and me in Herbology, but apart from that we excelled. Inexplicable, really, as I had not touched a textbook, but I felt uplifted. Flying did not daunt me at all. I knew I was good.  
  
"Looking forward to Flying with the Slytherins?" I asked Remus and Sirius. The latter turned faintly green, and his air of self-confidence dissipated a little.  
  
"That's just great," he said. "How Malfoy will laugh - 'little Sirius Black can't fly'."  
  
"You can't?"  
  
"Scared of heights," he said shortly.  
  
"Oh." I swallowed, unable to offer any words of understanding, as I didn't see what he could be scared of. Quidditch was the best sport in the world, as far as I was concerned, although I didn't play much due to my muggle- surrounded upbringing, and flying the best sensation. I was anticipating the lesson with joy. "What about you, Remus?"  
  
He shrugged. "I've never really flown much. Don't worry Sirius, there'll be plenty of other new ones. And you've done brilliantly in everything else."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
We changed into sport kit in silence and walked out onto the pitch. I noticed that many of the girls looked wary of the brooms on the floor. True, they didn't look very high-tech, but I was not daunted.  
  
"Good afternoon, class," said a woman with cropped hair. "My name is Madam Hooch. I will be teaching you to fly, and, eventually, play Quidditch. Is anyone here an experienced flyer already who would like to help demonstrate?"  
  
My hand flew up immediately, beating Marcius Malfoy's and a couple of his cronies'.  
  
"Mr...?"  
  
"Potter," I filled in.  
  
"Mr Potter, you seem confident. I will need you to help me with a few manoeuvres." I nodded. "Now, class, stand by a broom. Ready? All right. Hold your wand hand above the handle and say 'Up!'. As confidently as possible - brooms, like dogs, are good at sensing emotion."  
  
My broom leapt into my hand and I quietly lifted Sirius' too. About half the class were successful - Lily Evans, I noticed, looked particularly delighted.  
  
"Now, mount your brooms if you will. Mr Potter, I would like you to demonstrate a kick off and short rise, then land, if you would?" I nodded. "On my whistle, then - one, two, three!"  
  
How I longed to shoot off up into the sky now I was off the ground, but I obediently returned to earth. Most of the girls looked impressed, I noticed - Lily Evans was unaffected.  
  
"Now, everyone else?"  
  
By the end of the lesson, I had been allowed one circuit of the Quidditch pitch, during which I could not resist the temptation to show off with a loop-the-loop and what I knew was a spectacular dive landing. Madame Hooch raised an eyebrow. "Impressive, I'm sure, but we won't be doing that quite yet. Generally unnecessary, too, the loop-the-loop," - Malfoy sniggered - "but that was a fine example. Take five points for Gryffindor."  
  
I was triumphant as Malfoy fell silent.  
  
"Where did you learn to fly like that?" Sirius moaned at dinner. "It was amazing!"  
  
I shrugged - I could do better. "Dad taught me," I said. "Shame we're not allowed to play on the teams til next year."  
  
Lily Evans, walking behind me, gave a cough that sounded suspiciously contrived. Why was she not impressed? I wondered helplessly, but it wasn't worth worrying about.  
  
The first few weeks passed uneventfully - still, I came top in most things, although Lily Evans beat me with a sarcastic smile in Charms. "Well done," I congratulated her at the end of the lesson. "That thing with the feather was amazing!"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "How patronising can you get?" she muttered and pushed past me.  
  
Potions was the only other subject that I didn't surpass everyone in. Professor Sherwin and I did not see eye to eye, and for some reason I was clumsy with measurements and found following the recipes strangely hard. Snape, of course, came out best in the one subject I hated - but I cared little. The majority of our year disliked him by now, whereas I had earnt friendship.  
  
Sirius threw down his pen in the middle of an essay. We had both been sighing and grumbling from the start. "What we need," he said, "are some pranks to play."  
  
I brightened up. We had been generally unfruitful in finding jokes to pull in class. "Have you got something?"  
  
"You bet I have. Bubble generating gloop, stink pellets, Dr Filibuster fireworks and... bucking broom powder!"  
  
"Bucking broom powder?"  
  
"Yup. Snape or Malfoy; which do you reckon? Snape could end up harmed more by it... but it would be fun to knock some of Malfoy's confidence."  
  
"Yes... Malfoy, I reckon. I don't actually want to kill anyone, and Snape could be seriously injured."  
  
Sirius laughed. "You have a conscience, James Potter?"  
  
"Just a small one."  
  
And so it was that I was first out on the pitch the following Monday afternoon - while Madame Hooch continued laying out the brooms, I shook some powder over Malfoy's normal place and slipped the pot back in my cloak pocket.  
  
"Mr Potter, you're keen."  
  
"Yes, well, I had... something to ask you."  
  
"What about?"  
  
"It's about brooms."  
  
"Oh, Potter, you're not about to ask me for your own broom from home, are you? Because you know that first years aren't allowed..."  
  
I feigned disappointment. Of course I knew, but it was as good a reason as any for my early appearance. "Oh, well, I thought it was worth a try... never mind."  
  
The rest of the class straggled out in twos and threes. Sirius raised an eyebrow at me and I winked as Malfoy stepped forward.  
  
We were up in the air, practising shooting the Quaffle, when I noticed something wrong. Lily Evans, flying a little below me, was having trouble with her broom - serious trouble. It seemed to be showing symptoms of... bucking broom powder! I looked around and gasped. Malfoy was using a different broom! As Lily's broom began to speed uncontrollably away from me, I shot into a dive and followed, ignoring Madame's whistle. I had to rescue her.  
  
My practice at home paid off now as I reached out and grabbed the back of Lily's broom.  
  
"Climb across," I panted. "Quickly!"  
  
"Oh, leave me alone, Potter, I'm fine, I just lost control for a minute."  
  
"No you haven't, it's bucking broom powder. Get on my broom!"  
  
She glared at me. "And what is bucking broom powder? Nice try but no."  
  
Had the girl no sense of urgency? Or realism? "Fine," I snapped. "We'll fly in convoy. Come on." And keeping tight hold of the tail of her broom, I swung round and pulled her after me.  
  
Madame Hooch came running forward as we landed clumsily. "What happened, Miss Evans?"  
  
"Somebody's jinxed her broom," I muttered.  
  
Madame's eyes narrowed. "I see. Well, thank you for aiding her, Mr Potter, although, it would have been easier and perhaps safer to take her on your own broom. For future reference."  
  
I nodded, although I was seething at the injustice. First our prank had failed, now this. And bar a curt 'thanks', Lily appeared to have no sense of gratitude either.  
  
"How heroic," Remus teased me in the changing rooms.  
  
"Hmm," I said. "Sadly I don't think she likes heroes."  
  
"Ooh, does Potter like Evans?"  
  
I groaned inwardly. Trust Snape to overhear.  
  
"You like that mudbl-"  
  
I forgot all magic as my fist connected with his jaw, and he was too surprised to do anything in return. He crashed to the floor and glared up at me. Blood dribbled down his chin from his lip.  
  
"Go, James!" Sirius crowed.  
  
I rinsed the blood of my hand under the tap, trying to calm my temper. It was a while since I had struck a boy, and I had never felt such a sense of rage. Then again, I had never won so easily either. But Snape had probably never fought like a muggle. I had the advantage. Maybe my parents had not been so stupid after all.  
  
"This," Snape snarled as he staggered past us, heading for the hospital wing, "is war, Potter." 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is, by default, dedicated to Oliverwoodschic and child- of-scorpio. Eihwaz and I were on a high all afternoon because of your charming reviews.... :D It has come to my attention that I did not put a disclaimer on the last two chapters... and despite Eihwaz's insistence, I am not yet convinced that we own Harry Potter! So... I don't own anything you recognise, be it J.K. Rowling's or anyone else's, unintentionally! R&R please Lourdaise  
  
Chapter 3  
  
After that, Sirius and I limited ourselves to stink pellets and dung bombs for a while. We were happy enough with the effects and we only got caught a couple of times. Neither of us minded detention - it was a sign of bravado - and I had given up trying to impress Lily. I knew she was aware that I liked her - Snape, of course, had wasted no time in telling her - but clearly she had no kindness towards me. It was truly pointless, although still something to brood over on sleepless nights.  
  
Eventually, unpleasant odours in every other class began to lose their appeal. "We need to do something bigger, something better," Sirius moaned in the common room. Remus buried his nose further in his book.  
  
"But what? I'm not risking something like last time."  
  
"Okay, smitten one, we won't risk your darling's safety next time. But if we know where she is then it shouldn't risk anything. Look, here's the plan. In potions, I'll take one - just one, okay? - Filibuster and aim it, when Sherwin's not looking, at Snape. With any luck it should land in his cauldron, spatter him with potion and ta-da, we're done!"  
  
Remus shifted uneasily. "What, Rem?"  
  
"Well... be careful," he implored. "You could be expelled if you seriously harm Snape. And getting hit with some potions..."  
  
"Okay, okay," Sirius said. "We'll wait until it's just something like... an engorgement charm. That wouldn't be harmful for long. Just long enough to give him a nose like a melon and making those spots of his look like walnuts. And Sherwin'll never prove it was us."  
  
Remus sighed. "Fine. Whatever."  
  
We decided to wait until after Christmas to pull the prank. Sherwin had been keeping a very stern eye on us after the last bout of stink pellets, so we had no chance anyway. "After Christmas he might have relaxed a bit," Sirius said, his fingers crossed. Besides, Remus had succeeded in making us feel cautious, so we were delaying a bit, at least.  
  
Remus, Sirius and I all remained at school over the Christmas break. Sirius did not wish to return home, Remus had only recently been home and I decided to stay with them. We all woke early on Christmas day.  
  
"Presents!" Remus exclaimed.  
  
The other two boys in our dorm had returned home, as had most of the Gryffindors. We were three of only about ten students in the common room when we lugged our gifts downstairs to unwrap.  
  
"You first," Sirius and Remus said to me.  
  
I shrugged and pulled a present out from the bottom of the pile. It was from my Dad.  
  
"Why just Dad?" I wondered aloud.  
  
"You've got another here from both of them," Sirius pointed out.  
  
"How strange." I tore at the paper and gasped as I saw silvery fabric that flowed over my hands like liquid. "Sirius, look!"  
  
"What is it?" Remus asked.  
  
"It's an invisibility cloak," I explained. "This... is going to be so useful!"  
  
Sirius grinned as well. "I'd hide that, if I were you," he cautioned however. "They're really rare, and valuable. Oh, if only Snape could see..."  
  
"I'm never letting him get his greasy hands on this," I said viciously. "Never, ever. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you Dad!"  
  
"I wish my parents were that great," Sirius said sadly.  
  
"Oh, you haven't seen what they've got you yet," I replied.  
  
He lifted an uninspiringly wrapped package. "They've hardly written to me since they heard I was sorted into Gryffindor. I don't have high hopes." He pulled the paper away and held up a book and some cash. "See?"  
  
I was about to say something sympathetic when he noticed something in his pile. "James, I think your parents have given you another present - look, same paper." He handed it to me but as I checked the label I shook my head.  
  
"It's for you," I said. "From them. My parents like to get to know my friends - you've got one too, Remus."  
  
He laughed. "Wow! I knew there was a reason why I was friends with you, Potter." They tore off the wrapping paper to reveal a box of Bernie Bott's Every Flavour Beans each.  
  
"Nearly as generous as my own parents," Sirius said ironically.  
  
The invisibility cloak gave us a new lease of life until lessons - specifically, potions - were back on. That night, we went on our first trip into the main school in the dark - it was exhilarating, hiding behind doors, watching the teachers scurrying around late and knowing they couldn't see us. Our first close shave was nearly rounding a corner straight into Apollyon Pringle, the caretaker. He was talking to a cat by his ankles. "Secret passages... never find them... too soft... they'd soon learn... corporal punishment..."  
  
"What's he on about?" I whispered.  
  
Remus took out his wand. "Elucido," he muttered, pointing his wand at Pringle. Suddenly his speech was comprehensible.  
  
"There must be a secret passage around here. Behind this statue, maybe? Oh, this is hopeless. I can't force anything to show itself without magic. Need Dumbledore, but he's too soft by half. 'Let them do as they want' indeed! Now if I was in charge, there'd be a rack for disobedient pupils. I should really get on with that 'teach myself magic' course. Then I might be ready to take a bit more charge..."  
  
"Finis," Remus said and we hurried away from the caretaker.  
  
"Grief," I said. "So Pringle is a Squib!"  
  
Sirius had a gleam in his eye. "Secret passages," he murmured reverently. "There are secret passages out of school!"  
  
I understood immediately. "Well, they needn't remain secret to us, need they?"  
  
Remus began to smirk. "I know where the entrance to one is that goes to Hogsmeade."  
  
Sirius and I gaped at the idea of going to the wizard village nearby. "You knew there were secret passages out of school and you didn't tell us?"  
  
He shrugged. "It must have... slipped my mind, I guess."  
  
We began to tackle him to the ground together, heedless of the cloak slipping away, until rapidly approaching footsteps awoke us to our visibility.  
  
"Quick!"  
  
We dived under the cloak and pounded back to the Gryffindor common room. "Tarantulas!" I panted at the Fat Lady, and we tumbled through the portrait hole in a hyper state.  
  
"Close," Sirius gasped.  
  
"Yes," Remus agreed. "But not quite close enough for them to catch us."  
  
"Same time on Friday," I said slowly. "We can go and find the two passages that at least one of us knows about."  
  
Remus laughed. "Okay, okay - but if it wasn't for me we'd never have guessed what Pringle was talking about."  
  
"True," Sirius grunted.  
  
"A nifty little spell to make sense of raving. I use it a lot in History of Magic," Remus grinned.  
  
There was a freak snowstorm in the middle of January that left us all trapped in the castle for a week. It was bizarre - normally, it didn't snow that hard until deeper in winter. Flying lessons were cancelled for the duration; more happily, so was Herbology as no-one could get to the greenhouses. Once, having forgotten a text book, I came across Professor McGonagall talking to Professor Dumbledore. Quickly, I concealed myself behind a statue and settled down to listen.  
  
"Albus, how long do you think he'll keep us in here?"  
  
"Not long," Professor Dumbledore said. "He's not doing any harm to us, is he? It's a waste of his time. All he wants is to tell me that he's coming back."  
  
"But why would he choose a snow storm?"  
  
"That is something I don't know. I suppose he knows that I will know it's his doing, and yet it won't give me grounds to form my own army, so to speak. Minerva, this is Tom Riddle; I'm the only teacher who ever suspected him to be less than perfect. Consequently, he has a fear of me which I doubt he'll ever admit. He doesn't dare do anything harmful to Hogwarts."  
  
I was bewildered. Somebody had charmed this snow storm?  
  
"But I thought you said he wanted to strike fear through the wizarding world?"  
  
"Yes. But not yet. Not on his own. I predict that in, say, two to three years he will act. Until then, he only wants to send us 'chilling' messages that he's coming. No one will listen to them except for me and a few others. That gives him immediate power, and it allows him to laugh at us. Followers will come to him more easily."  
  
"Oh, but Albus, everyone will listen to you."  
  
"They will listen. They won't believe. 'Voldemort' knows what he can do, and so do I. So few other people will recognise Tom Riddle, even fewer will believe that this 'new' wizard is talented until... he is too talented to do anything about. Mark my words, Minerva, only the gullible will help me until it is too late for anything but a war of bloodshed."  
  
And then they both moved away. I shuddered. Dumbledore never spoke like that. But he could stop this person. Professor McGonagall was right, people would listen to Dumbledore. When the snowstorm ended the next day, I decided I would file it in the back of my mind and to all intents and purposes, forget about it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you Amandinka for your lovely review... so, readers - I am hoping we have more than three - how about continuing a trend and REVIEWING??? Pleeeaaaaasssssseeee... it would make Eihwaz and I very happy... :D Disclaimer: Nope, I haven't disposed of J.K Rowling and inherited the world of Harry Potter yet... shame... so nothing that you recognise is my own. Lourdaise ps - in case you didnt get this, I WANT YOU TO REVIEW!!!!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Our night time explorings had made us more confident in our mischief making. Sirius and I became determined again to disrupt a potions lesson with the trick we had planned. To our delight, Remus disappeared on the day we had chosen, so he was not around to put us off. "So are you going to throw it, or am I?" I asked Sirius, as we took the firework out of its box on that morning. "I did the bucking broom powder, don't forget."  
  
"Well, I guess I'd better, then," he said. "Can't have ickle Jamesie getting in trouble, can we?"  
  
I cuffed him over the head. "Shut up! You just want me to do it cos you're scared."  
  
He raised one eyebrow superciliously. "Fine," he said, pocketing the firework. "Watch me."  
  
Our state of excitement in Transfiguration, the lesson before Potions, did not escape Professor McGonagall's notice. "Potter, Black, if you don't stop talking now it'll be five points from Gryffindor... Potter, I know you can do better than that, concentrate... Black, that was completely unnecessary... Potter and Black will you just settle down!"  
  
Our classmates, too, didn't fail to realise something was up. Peter Pettigrew was regarding us with something like awe - others were begging to know what was going on. Sirius and I just lapped up the attention and said nothing.  
  
Professor Sherwin was in a bad mood already - we could sense it even as we waited outside the dungeon. I grinned wickedly to myself. He would never know who it was that had thrown the firework, if all went to plan. And if it didn't... well, another detention wouldn't kill us.  
  
"Ready?" I murmured to Sirius halfway through the lesson. We were waiting until neither Snape and his cronies nor Sherwin were looking at us.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay... now!"  
  
The firework flew high over everyone's heads and nobody noticed a thing until it splashed directly into Snape's cauldron - and exploded.  
  
"Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
Sherwin spun round from where he was helping Evans and his lip curled as he hurtled across the room, whipping a bottle of counter-potion from his robe. Sirius and I watched, doubled up in silent laughter, as Snape's chin swelled outwards to cover his neck, and Marcius Malfoy's thumb grew longer by the second. Dripping counter-potion onto the affected places of his pupils, Sherwin glared round at Sirius and I.  
  
"You think it's funny, do you, Mr Black? And you Mr Potter? Tell me - do you always laugh at others' misfortunes... or is this a different, private joke?"  
  
I felt reckless after the sight of Snape. "We're laughing at Snape's obvious despair of ever getting a name in this school without making, ahem, a bang at his own expense."  
  
Sherwin's eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid I don't appreciate flip comments, Mr Potter, but... own expense, Mr Potter? You mean, Mr Snape did this deliberately? He put a firework in his own cauldron?"  
  
How did he find the firework? It was meant to evaporate after explosion!  
  
"Firework, sir? That was a firework?" Sirius bluffed.  
  
"Yes, Mr Black. I believe it was. A possibly out-of-date one - perhaps you picked it up in Diagon Alley in the summer? Maybe you did not realise that out-of-date fireworks lose their ability to disappear after use?"  
  
I swore silently as Sirius' face gave us away.  
  
"Maybe a few detentions would drum the lesson into you. See me tonight at 6 o' clock."  
  
Detention with Sherwin was not as bad as we had expected. Apparently he could think of nothing vile enough for us, so handed us over to Pringle who merely got us cleaning the trophy room using muggle soap and water. Apparently he did not realise that my mother had trained me in super-speedy muggle cleaning from a young age. Sirius stood and talked to me while I zoomed round the room. We were done in an hour. "You can do every window in the castle tomorrow," Pringle spat as we waved him merrily goodbye.  
  
Remus was waiting for us in the common room. "I told you it was a bad idea," he reprimanded.  
  
"Oh, shove off Rem," Sirius said. "It was worth it - you should have seen Snape. Anyway, where have you been?"  
  
A shadow crossed Remus' face. "Sick," he said. "But I'm fine now."  
  
"Good," I said. I was too restless to think anything else of his awkwardness. "Listen, where shall we go tonight? I'm far too full of energy after all that cleaning to sleep."  
  
Remus groaned. "Count me out," he said. "I'm exhausted."  
  
Sirius seemed enthusiastic, though. "Yeah, let's do something. How about we go and investigate those kitchens tonight?"  
  
We had followed a house elf the previous week and found the entrance to the kitchens. All we needed was how to get in - apparently, only house elves could run straight through the painting. Wizards needed something else.  
  
"Okay," I agreed. "Set your alarm for midnight and we'll take the cloak out. Sure you don't want to come, Rem?"  
  
"Next time," he promised.  
  
We found the painting of the bowl of fruit with ease and stood before it. "What do you think?" Sirius muttered. "A password?"  
  
We had quickly found how sensible most passwords were to these secret passages - the three we had found so far all had variations on 'Open' in different languages. However, once we had run through every word or phrase we could think of, I began to ponder. "Maybe this one's more interactive," I suggested.  
  
"Interactive?"  
  
"Yeah. Well, I dunno."  
  
"Oh, right," Sirius mocked. "Let's just tickle the pear and - bloody hell!" The painting swung open.  
  
"Well," I said, once we had both recovered from the shock, "there has to be variation, doesn't there?"  
  
It caused quite a stir amongst the house elves when two wizards stepped through their kitchen door.  
  
"Good evening, sirs!" said one eventually. "Can we help you at all?"  
  
"Well," Sirius said, "I don't know. We were just, you know, a bit hungry, so we thought we'd... you know, try to find the kitchen, and, well, find something to eat."  
  
He had barely finished his sentence when the elf beamed and bowed to both of us. "Blinky, Cherry, go and get sirs some food!" he ordered. "What would you like?"  
  
"Erm, well, anything's fine," I said in awe as the elves reappeared with friends, all dragging trays full of food. "Maybe the cakes and the pumpkin juice," I pointed at what I was talking about.  
  
"And the chips," Sirius added. "Please."  
  
The elves beamed and loaded what we wanted onto one tray. "There you go, sirs!" they squeaked simultaneously.  
  
"Hey, thanks!" Sirius and I grinned at each other. "Can we come again, another night?"  
  
"Of course," said the nearest elf. "Any time, sirs! We like to please!"  
  
It took a while to wake Remus for the feast, but when he finally did come down to the common room with us he was amazed. "The house elves gave you all this?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Sirius nodded with me. "I was quite surprised, actually," he said. "Our house elf, Kreacher, is awful. He hates me more than my mother does."  
  
"Your mother doesn't hate you," I exclaimed.  
  
"You haven't met her," he said flatly. I didn't - couldn't, in fact - respond.  
  
"Well," Remus said awkwardly, "now the food's here, you know, we might as well tuck in."  
  
So we did.  
  
The months passed quickly - Easter came and went with eggs from home and more staying at school, and then, halfway through the summer term, exams.  
  
"I don't know how they crept up on us," Sirius said lazily as we lay in the courtyard, watching Remus revising frantically.  
  
"And I don't know how you two can cope without revising anything!" he snapped.  
  
"No," Sirius agreed cheerfully. "But it's a handy skill, not having to work. After all, learning to fly is taking up all of my time!"  
  
I had started trying to teach Sirius before Easter, when we started playing Quidditch almost normally in lessons. Now, he was passable - he would never make a team, he was too cautious in the air, which was unlike him - but that he could fly long distance and travel on broomstick now, I was confident. On the other hand, I had taken to Quidditch like a fish to water. Keeper, Chaser, Beater or Seeker - I could play all the positions skilfully and happily. My diving and dodging skills were, according to Madame Hooch, exceptional - on a decent broom, she said, I could already make the Gryffindor team.  
  
"You must try out next year," she told me. "It would be a crime not to." I triumphed at the sickened look on Snape's face.  
  
At the end of June, once the exams were over and we were in the lull between work and holiday, receiving results and relaxing, she approached me at the end of the lesson with a form.  
  
"How would you feel about attending a Quidditch summer school?" she asked.  
  
I shrugged.  
  
"I sent a letter of support and an application form to the organisers," she continued. "It's a camp run by some of the England Quidditch team and managers, and they're very keen for you to attend. I think it would be an excellent experience for you - Professor Dumbledore agrees. Of course, it's entirely up to you and your parents whether you want to go, but... one of the opportunities offered is a chance to be in the England under sixteen Quidditch team. I think you'd be in with a chance of that."  
  
Sirius, beside me, whooped. "You have to go, James! Imagine that!"  
  
Excitement bubbled inside me, too, at the thought. "Well," I said. "I - I'll talk to my parents. Thank you."  
  
And so it was that I arrived at King's Cross station, platform 9 and 3/4, with top marks in most exams and a summer of Quidditch to look forward to. The shouts of 'bye, James! I'll owl you! See you in September!' from Sirius and Remus furthered my sense of euphoria. I was undoubtedly set for an interesting summer. 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Wow wow wow! I am so excited! 15 reviews! :D. And a lot of questions.... thanx to ALL reviewers, and... Chocoliciouz - my beta is Eihwaz and a drawing pin, she tells me, is what an American would call a tack... we moved to Switzerland 60 odd years ago (lol) but were originally British English! Eihwaz has spent a lot of time in America... Liraniel - Yes, I have read Pensieve, and I certainly don't hate you. I will try to include more Snape but personally, I prefer not to have altering points of view, so there is a limit to how much I can include him. As for humour... I will try. Quiteona - Yes this will tie with OOTP as much as possible.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Dad was the one to take me to the Quidditch place - he was, truth to tell, more excited than Mum, who I think slightly resented losing me for another fortnight. Dad, on the other hand, had gone so far as to buy me a new broomstick - a Nimbus 1000, recently debuted and the best on the market. "Can't have the champion turning up with Dad's old Cleansweep 2," he explained, half proudly, half sheepishly.  
  
So, armed with my trunk and my new broom, I arrived at the England Quidditch team training ground. It was in the middle of London, a portal in a public lavatory cubicle that was permanently 'out of order'. Not the most exquisite location for getting to such an exciting place, but it served its purpose. My invisibility cloak would have come in very useful, if I hadn't left it at home, to cover up the fact that I was a boy taking a broomstick and a large trunk into a public toilet and not re-emerging. Luckily, at the time we went in, there was nobody else to see us - too early for the commuters and too late for the party goers coming home.  
  
"Ready?" Dad said, eyeing the portal with distaste as it opened before us. "God, it's ages since I had to use one of these. You'll have to learn to apparate, son!"  
  
I grinned and took a pace forward. "One day, yes. Shall I go first, or you?"  
  
"You," he said. "I'll bring your trunk."  
  
Grasping my Nimbus 1000, I took a deep breath - it could be hard to breathe whilst spinning so fast - and stepped into the swirling vacuum.  
  
The landing is always the hardest bit - my feet hit solid ground and my knees buckled, but I did not fall over. I jumped out of the way just in time as Dad came rushing down next to me. He blinked several times, shook his head to clear it and pulled a face. "Bleurgh," he said. "I really do hate those things. Are you all right?"  
  
I nodded. "Where do we go now?"  
  
Dad turned around. "This way."  
  
I rotated round as well and gasped. In front of me was a massive, gleaming white building with posts and towers and an arch in the middle. The England flag waved from each turret - there were four that I could just see, forming a square border around what must be the pitch itself. A perfect gravelled path swept up to the entrance.  
  
"Er -" I said helplessly.  
  
Dad grinned. "Come on," he said. "Reception's this way."  
  
The first day was the worst and the best, because of that. I was left feeling incredibly daunted and small, especially when the England captain appeared from nowhere and smiled at me, and when the other girls and boys arrived - I was one of the youngest. However, I also felt strangely confident - having been the first to arrive, I felt I had superior knowledge of the accommodation and layout of the place, and I was the only one not to be seen saying goodbye to my parent. That was a bonus. But even without all that, I felt oddly at home in this place where everything was dedicated to my favourite sport, and the fact that I had been chosen to attend the course filled me with a bubbling sense of pride and self- assurance. Friends were easy to make - I appeared to be exuding an aura of self-possession which drew the other boys to me, whether cocky and wanting to be on a level with me, or unsure and looking up to me. A fair few of the girls seemed to be interested in me as well. Naturally enough, I didn't reveal the fact that half of this experience was terrifying to me. That was for my parents, and only them, to hear about by owl. I would never hear the end of it if either Sirius or any of these people realised.  
  
We started flying the next morning - a proper game of Quidditch, so that the tutors could see what stages each of us were at. There were twenty five pupils, including me - not quite enough people for four whole teams, but too many for three teams. "Well, that's easily fixed," Charlie Braxton, the England keeper, laughed. "Three of us can join in. Here, get into four teams - three of six and one of seven."  
  
There were many more boys than girls at the camp; it ended up that six of the girls ended up on a team with Braxton, and the other four split themselves into pairs, two on my team and two in the seven. Three boys that I had talked to the previous night joined me with Frank Morton, one of the England chasers, who we had also chatted to at breakfast.  
  
"So," Frank said jovially. "Can I be one of the chasers, or do I have to play another position?"  
  
"No way!" Scott, one of the boys, exclaimed. "If we want to win, you need to be in your best place!"  
  
He laughed. "Okay. What about the rest of you? James, where do you normally play?"  
  
"I don't really mind," I said. "Anywhere."  
  
"Okay. Try Keeper." Typical, my worst position. Well, I wasn't bad at it. I just found it boring. I like flying properly, not just bobbing around on the spot.  
  
I nodded anyway, but someone spotted my irritation. "No, I don't like being Keeper either," said a female voice beside me. "Too stationary."  
  
I turned my head and grinned at the girl, whose name I knew to be Maria. "Exactly. What's your favourite position?"  
  
She considered. "Seeker. Or Chaser. I don't much like being Beater, either - I'm not really aggressive enough for that."  
  
"Oh, well, I don't mind Beater. I must be more ruthless than you - I fantasise about knocking my archenemy off his broom."  
  
She giggled. "Well, so long as you don't try that on me."  
  
I smiled. "Would I ever?"  
  
This Maria was quite pretty. I might try and make friends with her. She had one definite advantage: "She likes you!" Thomas whispered teasingly from beside me a minute later. I couldn't reply as the whistle blew and we kicked off.  
  
I didn't have much to do - the Chasers on the other team were scrappy and badly prepared, even I could see that. Plus, with Frank as one of our Chasers, the other team rarely held possession of the Quaffle. I saved a total of two goals before our Seeker managed, by what I could see was luck, to grab the Snitch which had paused by him.  
  
We had a small tournament after that, each team versus all the others, and finally stopped for lunch. I sat down opposite Maria and her friends, who began to giggle. I noticed that she was wearing robes - I had changed into jeans and a T-shirt, as had a couple of her friends. I surmised that she must live in an all-wizard village like Hogsmeade, where it was normal to wear robes all the time. I only dressed like a wizard at school, and was impressed. I gave her a half smile, one I had perfected at primary school on noting that it had a devastating effect on girls. Strange that I hadn't thought of trying it at Hogwarts...  
  
She grinned back. "How was being Keeper, then?"  
  
"Tedious. You were a far better Chaser than any of them."  
  
"Well, we had Frank. They did get two attempts - that wasn't bad."  
  
"Didn't score, though, did they?" I laughed.  
  
"No, well..." Her eyes sparkled at me.  
  
Scott and Alex crashed down into seats beside me. "Hey James."  
  
"Hi," I said. They were eyeing me strangely. "What?"  
  
"You look different to this morning," Alex said eventually. "But I dunno why."  
  
I shrugged. "Well, I don't know what it is. So, where's Thomas?"  
  
Thomas and Alex were Ravenclaws in the year above me at Hogwarts. Scott was a Hufflepuff in my own year, but not someone I had spoken to much. I didn't recognise Maria, which was strange as she was definitely secondary school age. "I have home tutoring," she explained when I asked her about this at dinner on the second evening.  
  
"How come?"  
  
"My parents work for the ministry," she said, "so we move around a lot."  
  
"Then surely boarding school would be a good thing?"  
  
"And also I have dancing," she added.  
  
"Dancing?"  
  
"Yeah. They don't teach it at Hogwarts, and I plan to be a dancer when I'm older. The tutor I have plays Quidditch with me, too - that's why I'm here. My parents are in Egypt this fortnight, so they decided to send me here. It's good fun, don't you think? And a break from dancing."  
  
I nodded. So far, the only part I didn't enjoy so much was the fitness training in the gym - weights and cardiovascular stuff that I couldn't see had anything much to do with Quidditch.  
  
"Truth to tell, it doesn't," Frank Morton told me when I grumbled to him. "But we have to do it. It's good training in discipline - and strength is necessary in the rain. Plus, you need to be toned and streamlined. You couldn't really have an overweight Quidditch player, could you?"  
  
"But I'm not!"  
  
"No, but that doesn't mean that nobody else is. Come on, you'll get used to it."  
  
And I did. There was something quite fun in the routine, once you reconciled yourself to it. I still preferred the actual Quidditch, though. Skills lessons were far more interesting than the ones at school - learning how to execute advanced manoeuvres and such was thrilling in a way that learning to shoot effectively wasn't. Plus, we were all competent players - I couldn't help but picture Sirius amongst us and laugh. In fact, I even caught myself comparing Lily Evans in the air to Maria - now that was new.  
  
The days passed far too quickly. Halfway through the second week, when we only had three days left, Gary Lambert announced that there was to be a competition. "We will judge you on simple and advanced skills, and then in an actual game of Quidditch, like on your first day, but hopefully more accomplished!"  
  
There was a murmur of people talking around me, but I was thinking quickly. This must be what Madame Hooch had meant when she said there would be a chance for me to win my way into the England junior team.  
  
And maybe I could. I was the best in my group, I knew, but I wasn't sure about some of the others. One of the older ones was bound to win it. But then again...  
  
Maria appeared by my side. "I bet you'll win," she said.  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "I doubt it."  
  
"No, really," she said. "I've seen you play and I've seen the others play. I know I'm not that good myself, but my aunt's taught me to single out good people."  
  
I was going to ask her what her aunt did, but the end of lunch bell rang and we all went to change for the skills part of the competition.  
  
The actual game part of the assessment came on the morning of the penultimate day. We were on the same teams as on the first day, but positions were different. Frank Morton was choosing for us again, but he was basing it on skill this time.  
  
"Right, James... you can be Seeker. Pit you against old Gary Lambert."  
  
I swallowed. "All right." Me, against the England seeker? Surely this wasn't fair!  
  
Thomas, Scott and Alex laughed at me. "Ha ha, James! Rather you than me!"  
  
"Yeah," I said. "Still, at least you can't blame me if we don't win."  
  
Maria smiled at me. "I'd say you've got a chance. Auntie Belinda always said you were really good, and that was before you came here. Mrs Hooch," she explained as I looked puzzled  
  
"Did she now?" I grinned as I mounted my broom.  
  
**** B/N (Eihwaz): Yay! Isn't James's head getting bigger and bigger? Yes, he's insufferable *grins*  
  
However as a hardworking beta *coughs meaningfully* I must say that I HATE Maria!!! But my dear darling Lourdaise insists the little Mary-Sue has a 'purpose', so I must wait a few chapters before I can... dispose ...of her. Unless I kidnap the next chapter :)  
  
...Hang on, I already HAVE the next chapter *rubs hands together in devilish glee* Muahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa  
  
A/N (Lourdaise): Aren't forks such useful implements? 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: ONE review???? :-( well, thanx to lita.... sorry about making Sirius scared of heights, but I never wanted him to be on the Quidditch team... he is perfect in every other way! And knows it... lol... and btw I am sure Eihwaz loves your review, cos u do her O.o thing... Disclaimer: I forgot in Chap 5, but do you think we could do without these from now on?! I mean, surely you all know that I know that I don't own the rights to Harry Potter etc... tell me if you have a problem with that. EVERYBODY, R&R!!!!  
  
Chapter 6  
  
It was hard to know what to do, matched with an experienced Seeker, despite the training we'd had. I considered tailing him, but I wasn't sure how innovative a tactic that was. I took instead to circling the pitch, with one eye on Gary Lambert to see what he was doing. It took me by surprise when he started tailing me instead, but suddenly I knew what to do. I dived towards the ground, lying flat out on my broom, and heard the satisfying whoosh of him coming after me. At the last moment, I pulled my broom up and swerved round. He narrowly avoided hitting the ground - in the time it took him to regain his balance, I caught sight of the snitch. Paying little heed to the bludger coming my way, I hurtled towards it. I stretched out my hand and grinned as my fingers closed round the fluttering wings. A whistle went and I shot downwards again. As I landed, Frank Morton thudded down beside me. "You beat our seeker!" he bellowed. "Gary, what do you make of that! Taken in by a twelve year old's Wronski Feint and beaten, all in the space of two minutes. That was amazing, James."  
  
Gary Lambert shook my hand, trying not to laugh. "It's years since I've been taken in by one of them. Where did you learn to Feint, Potter? We didn't teach you that here."  
  
"I didn't learn," I said. "I just... it seemed logical."  
  
He looked stunned. "Well. That's very impressive. Nice work," he said to the rest of the two teams as they landed beside us. "That was a good whole team manoeuvre with the Quaffle, good effort from the beaters there too. Well done."  
  
"I told you it would be you that won," Maria teased that evening.  
  
"They haven't announced the winner yet," I protested.  
  
"No, OK, but they will tomorrow and it's obvious it'll be you. Who beat Gary Lambert, the England seeker? Who did a Wronski Feint because it seemed logical? Who's been amazing in all of the skills training? You!"  
  
I waved it away. Everything she had said was true, but I still found it hard to believe that they could really choose me. Well, we'd find out soon enough in the morning.  
  
"Many of you must be aware that the prize for coming top in this assessment, or winning the competition, however you prefer to view it, is the opportunity to fly with the Junior England squad for a trial period of six months, and possibly secure a permanent contract," Charlie Braxton said at breakfast the next morning. "This is a great honour, as I know - it was by flying with the Juniors that I got into the England team, after all, and that is the sort of future a Junior player can look forward to, with enough effort. Of course, it is difficult for some to train enough, what with school, but training with school teams does help, and most matches are held in summer when training is feasible."  
  
I saw Frank Morton nudge him and mutter something.  
  
"Yes... well, anyway, so that's the prize in its entirety. It was very difficult to choose a winner - all of you are competent players and I must say, I'm sure I was never so impressive at your age. However, we had to choose a winner, and so the prize goes to one whose skill and innovation really swept us away - James Potter, come and collect your medal!"  
  
I was flabbergasted, despite the number of times I had considered winning. And then I thought what Snape would say, and my face broke into a grin.  
  
"Go, James!" whispered Maria.  
  
I had not expected my achievement to be considered by anyone except me, my friends and Mum and Dad - for that reason, when Frank Morton leaned forward amidst the cheers and said 'James - the Daily Prophet wants a word' I was completely bemused. Still, it was quite cool really; I was to be headline news as the latest rising star in Quidditch, with my photograph and interview on the front page. What would Sirius think, I wondered. Or Lily Evans. But then I pushed that thought away. I had something to say to Maria.  
  
"Maria, I was wondering..."  
  
Her eyes lit up. "Yes?"  
  
"Can I - that is, would you mind if I... you know... owled you once we go home?"  
  
She smiled. "Of course you can. Do you have an owl?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Then you'll be able to from school as well?"  
  
I nodded and grinned. "That'd be great!"  
  
If only she went to Hogwarts, though, I thought later. So Snape could see.  
  
Dad didn't even complain about the portal when he came to collect me. He'd seen the newspaper before he'd left home, and he was in a state of elation. Even Mum was delighted - apparently, the bit about my future as an England star had thrilled her.  
  
"I think she always wished I'd been a famous player, to be honest," Dad laughed. "But now you can be instead. I just couldn't believe it when I saw your face in the Daily Prophet. My own son! Imagine that!"  
  
I got three letters of congratulation only that afternoon - one from Sirius, one from Remus and one from Madam Hooch, with a note at the bottom from Professor Dumbledore, which surprised me. The next day brought an owl from Maria, too, which made me smile. Forget Lily Evans, the stuck-up little... She wasn't even that pretty.  
  
'Do you want to meet me in Hogsmeade sometime?' I suggested in my reply to Maria.  
  
The school term started as usual on September 1st. It was impossible to see why I had been at all nervous last year - this time, as soon as I strolled through the barrier onto platform 9 and 3/4, I heard my name shouted from at least ten people, and then more. Remus ran up to me, followed by many of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff boys. Even some girls were hanging round me in a circle.  
  
"You were in the newspaper!" said a boy who I knew to be called Sam. "I didn't know you were that good."  
  
"Of course, you'll be on the team, won't you?"  
  
"Did you really beat Gary Lambert?"  
  
"Yeah," I said, getting a word in at last. "Yeah, I did."  
  
"You must be amazing," breathed one of the girls behind me.  
  
I laughed and rumpled up my hair. Now this was seriously cool - I was a legend!  
  
Remus grabbed my arm eventually and pulled me toward a carriage. "How are you?" he asked.  
  
"Fine," I said. "Really good, actually. How wicked is this?"  
  
He grinned. "Pretty wicked, I agree. You and Sirius are the height of cool, now - and me with you," he added in a whisper.  
  
"What's he done?"  
  
Remus began to frown. "Haven't you seen Sirius yet?"  
  
"Ooh, yes," said a voice behind me. I turned to see Emma Bones, one of the Hufflepuff girls, leaning over my seat. "He'll be sitting with you, won't he?"  
  
"I hope so," I said. I was beginning to get edgy. What had Sirius done? And why wouldn't Rem tell me?  
  
"Hey, James," drawled a familiar voice. "Your entire fan club wants an autograph on the platform."  
  
I spun in my seat. "Sirius!"  
  
His hair was longer than it had been in June - it fell artistically into his eyes in a way that mine could never do - and he was taller, too. All in all, he was exuding an air of casual elegance, and I couldn't help but see why Emma was excited. "How are things?"  
  
"Fine," he said. "I must say, though, I nearly fell out of my chair when your face soared into the kitchen on the newspaper. It was then I decided that I'd need to do something if I was to keep up with you."  
  
I laughed.  
  
"Still, well done, mate - England junior team and all that. Pretty good!"  
  
"Yeah, well, I hope to be on the Gryffindor team as well."  
  
"Oh, of course you will be." He grinned and flopped into the seat next to me. "Morning, Rem. Sorry I disappeared earlier. Had to see a man about a dog." He sniggered. "Thought we could have some fun terrifying Pringle's cat - what's it called? Mrs Boris? - with this." He pulled a stuffed dog out of a bag.  
  
I eyed it. "I don't think even she'd be fooled by that."  
  
"Not like this, no. But watch." He took out his wand and tapped it. The dog's mouth opened, baring scarily realistic fangs, and it growled menacingly. It's eyes rolled, and in front of us it metamorphosed into a passable guard dog. "Great idea or great idea?"  
  
Remus and I exchanged amused glances. "Trust you to think of something like that. Here, doesn't Snape hate dogs too?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm," Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "I am just too, too great. Aren't I?" 


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Actually, kluvhp, you did review Chapter 5... to be perfectly honest, I am not entirely sure what a Mary-Sue is... I asked Eihwaz but she has not emailed me back and I have compulsive updating disorder!!! :S Thanks Sploogal, too, for reviewing chap 6... your reviews are really nice!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
The start of term feast was as good as ever - better than last year, in fact, because we were no longer 'ickle firsties' as Peeves the poltergeist always said. And my 'fame' had changed school life quite a bit - even Malfoy nodded to me as we passed in the entrance hall. Only Snape was worse than ever. Sirius and I were on our way to the Gryffindor tower when suddenly a shape burst out in front of us and a voice cried "Tarantallegra!"  
  
My feet went into an uncontrollable tap dance. So, next to me, did Sirius'. Snape stood and laughed. "What a star you are, Potter," he scorned. "Unable to defend yourself in the corridors - really good."  
  
But he had misjudged me. On our date in Hogsmeade, Maria had taught me a good few hexes, and I intended to use them. "Petrificus Totalus!" I responded, despite my feet. Snape's legs and arms snapped together and he keeled over backwards. Remus came running up behind us, and as soon as he saw, shouted the counter-curse.  
  
"Thanks," we muttered. Somehow Remus always seemed to know useful things like counter-curses, even if it was Sirius and I who excelled in class. I made a mental note to learn as many hexes as I could, and their counters. I would show Snape who was top. He probably only knew one hex - well, he wouldn't mess with us for much longer.  
  
"Leave him there," I said loudly to Remus. "Someone else can un-hex him."  
  
"James, I don't think..."  
  
"What, you don't think anyone'd bother?" Sirius interrupted. "No, I suppose not. Little Snivellus Snape - why would they want to?" He grinned at me, then poked Snape with his shoe.  
  
"Then again," I countered, "if we don't get him up he'll leave a greasy mark on the floor."  
  
Sirius and I sniggered. Remus, however, frowned and muttered the counter curse. Snape staggered to his feet and shot us all - Rem included - a poisonous glare. He couldn't say any further curses, though, as Remus had kept his wand pointed at him, so he walked off, fists clenched.  
  
"Why'd you do that?"  
  
"I don't believe in cruelty."  
  
I squirmed slightly at Remus' lofty tone. "But he cursed us first!"  
  
"Sure. I don't condemn what you did, either. But I won't have a part in leaving him there."  
  
"It would have worn off," Sirius said.  
  
Remus shrugged. "Fine. I didn't know that. Come on, let's go."  
  
Trials for the Gryffindor Quidditch team were held on the first Saturday of term. They were a reasonably apt bunch, as far as I could see - the new captain, who played Seeker, two Chasers, a Beater and a Keeper were left after last year's leavers. The captain, Geoff Bones, grinned when he saw me.  
  
"Ah, James Potter," he said happily. "What position do you want to play? Chaser or Beater?"  
  
"Chaser. I'm not bad at Beater, but I prefer the other." Personally, I had been delighted that I could try for Chaser. Despite Frank Morton's conviction, I thought I was a stronger Chaser than Seeker.  
  
"We'll put you as Chaser for now then. Come on, show us what you can do."  
  
I kicked off the ground with the rest of them and caught the Quaffle from Bones. I shot up the pitch, looped a Bludger and threw to Arthur Weasley, a sixth year Chaser on the team, as I was blocked by a stand-in. I dodged round and received the ball from Weasley, then dived a little to be level with the goals.  
  
"And he scores!" cried Weasley from behind me. "Amazing!"  
  
"You're in," Geoff Bones exclaimed excitedly, flying up beside me. "That was spectacular."  
  
The first practice was the following Wednesday. I found it easy to work with the other Chasers, Weasley and, unusually, a fourth year girl whose name was Amanda Prewitt, whose sister was a friend of Lily Evans'. The Beaters were a fifth year called John, who was new like me, and a sixth year, Crispin. Griff Lemon, another fifth year, was Keeper. Geoff Bones was clearly excited to be captain. "It's a few years since we won the Quidditch Cup, but I always thought we needed some new blood in the team, and now we've got John Rhys and, of course, the famous James Potter!" I grinned but said nothing. "So, show me what you can all do together. On my whistle!"  
  
Even at the Quidditch camp, I had not experienced being in a team where we all truly wanted to work together to beat others. There had always been an element of wanting to prove your individual strength at the camp. This was better. I soared up and down the pitch, passing and catching and shooting. The only thing I had been disappointed in about being Chaser was the lack of need for dives and manoeuvres, but it turned out that was untrue. Skill at dodging and swerving was as valuable as anything else, and that was where I came in most useful.  
  
"That was the best training session I've ever captained!" Geoff joked as we headed back to the changing rooms later. "No, but seriously, for a first practice as this team, that was great. We'd better get that cup this year... at the very least beat Slytherin."  
  
I grinned. I too had reason to want to beat Slytherin.  
  
I was as good as my word in learning hexes. Sirius and I skimmed through book after book, picking our favourites and learning them. Defence against the dark arts helped too, although silly curses were less in abundance there. Remus had the best capacity for harmless yet amusing jinxes, but I was interested in more. If Snape wanted to curse me, then he'd get more than he bargained for. So, for that matter, would anyone who crossed me. I was the height of cool, now, as Remus had said, and I had my gang, my place on the Quidditch teams - both Gryffindor and junior England - my girlfriend, though unfortunately not at Hogwarts, and the grades and power to go with it all. I couldn't even care that Lily hated me now. Life was a doddle.  
  
At the start of October, Remus disappeared. I had forgotten his habit of vanishing periodically, but suddenly, now that I had no other worries, it seemed stranger than it had last year.  
  
"Where's he gone this time?" I asked Sirius.  
  
"Apparently his grandmother's sick."  
  
"He has a very unhealthy family," I commented, cynically. "She was sick twice last year, too. And his mother, father and sister, each a couple of times. And him."  
  
Sirius nodded slowly. "Bit strange, really. Oh well. What would he be covering up?"  
  
I shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm blowed if I believe they're really all ill."  
  
A mystery.  
  
My first school Quidditch match, against Hufflepuff, was both exciting and faintly - very faintly - disappointing. We won, easily, which was great, but the match only lasted fifteen minutes before Geoff Bones caught the Snitch. Arthur, Amanda and I managed to score two goals, but it wasn't the amazing debut I had hoped for. Fifteen minutes, indeed. How was I supposed to prove anything in that short a time? Then again, the cheering was exhilarating in itself, for as long as it lasted. I saw Sirius, Remus and several other Gryffindors waving a large flag bearing my name that let off a loud bang and emitted sparks every few minutes, to Professor McGonagall's probable distress - but she didn't appear to have taken it down, so maybe she didn't mind.  
  
"Great work, team," Geoff said in the changing rooms, though we all shouted him down, as it had, in truth, been his doing that we won. "No, no, let me speak! Great work. I know you didn't have long, but that was some neat flying, Potter - good co-ordination, too, Chasers. Beaters, good, and of course Griff, you never let us down! Well done. Same next time, please, and even better the time after that - against Slytherin."  
  
We all booed dramatically.  
  
"That was excellent, Potter," Geoff continued to me as we left the changing room. "When's your first junior England match?"  
  
"Start of the Christmas holidays," I said. "Before our one against Ravenclaw."  
  
He nodded. "You've been training well. I'm sure you'll do brilliantly. You're Seeker for them, aren't you?"  
  
"I was, but one of the managers heard I was Chaser here so he came to watch today. I might be changed."  
  
Geoff nodded. "I know you beat Gary Lambert as Seeker, you must be impressive, but I think you're a strong Chaser. Our strongest on the team, to be honest - you're just what we need to hold Weasley and Amanda together. Keep it up!" he said, clapping me on the back before hurrying off to meet his friends.  
  
"You were brilliant," Sirius told me later. "Shame it was so short really, but hey - we won!"  
  
I laughed. "Loved your flag, by the way."  
  
He grinned. "Yeah. Shame Professor McGonagall confiscated it when it set fire to Snape's robes."  
  
"Did it?"  
  
"Well, with a bit of help. That Peter Pettigrew helped us, you know, the kind of quiet one."  
  
I smiled. "What did Snape do?"  
  
"Put it out and went running to Sherwin. Sadly McGonagall didn't intercept him in time - I've got detention this evening."  
  
"Has Pettigrew?"  
  
"No. I got him out of it. Listen, will you come too? Nobody'll know if you come under the cloak and it'll help."  
  
"Is it cleaning?"  
  
"No. It's lines, that's all. He couldn't think of anything else, that's why McGonagall got involved. She was feeling lenient because you won."  
  
"OK then," I said. "I'll come."  
  
We were on our way back to the Gryffindor tower when my owl, Neptune, nearly gave me away by perching on my shoulder.  
  
"Hi, Neptune," Sirius said quickly as Professor Sherwin gave the 'air' where I was a suspicious look. "Looking for James? Here, I'll take his letter, I'll give it to him in a minute." I prodded Neptune gently, and she hopped onto Sirius' shoulder. He smiled and removed the letter.  
  
I stayed back a pace as Sherwin walked round to Sirius' other side, groped in the air and gave a satisfied nod. I came up on the other side and glanced at the envelope. It was addressed in Maria's handwriting. Sirius gave me a curious look - I hadn't mentioned her yet, and her writing was unknown to him. I couldn't respond without sound, so I merely waited.  
  
"Who's this from?" he asked the minute we entered the common room and I shrugged off the cloak.  
  
"Dunno," I lied, taking it and slitting it open. A single slip of paper fell out, and he snatched it from me.  
  
"Ooh! Maria? Who's she?"  
  
"A friend from Quidditch camp," I said quickly. "Give it here, what does she want?"  
  
"She wants to meet you in Hogsmeade tomorrow night!"  
  
I smiled. "Anything else?"  
  
"She says to reply A.S.A.P. What will you say?"  
  
"Yes, of course." I reached into my bag for a quill and parchment, scribbled 'Yes, nine o' clock, see you,' and was about to tie it to Neptune's leg and send her off when I noticed Sirius staring at me.  
  
"Well, I'm coming too," he said.  
  
"No you're not!"  
  
"Oh yes I am. Our first adventure out of school via one of the passages and me and Remus not there? You must be joking."  
  
"But Sirius..."  
  
"Come on, James, be a sport."  
  
"Fine," I said and added a note 'Is it okay if my two best friends show up? Only they're threatening to kill me if I don't smuggle them out of school with me...' I fastened it to Neptune's leg and patted her on the beak. "Thanks, 'Tune," I said. "Let's just hope Remus wants to go."  
  
"He will."  
  
But when we finally located Remus and told him about the venture, he looked dismayed. "I'm really sorry, I can't come," he said.  
  
"Why not?" Sirius looked incredulous.  
  
"Because... because... I have an extra lesson with... Professor McGonagall. I didn't understand the work we did yesterday."  
  
"At nine o' clock?"  
  
"Well, it ends then, and you'll have left, won't you?"  
  
"I guess... all right then, Rem. It'll just be me and James. We'll tell you all about it!"  
  
Remus nodded, then jumped up and left the table. Sirius and I exchanged glances. "What's wrong with him?" I mused.  
  
At eight o' clock that evening, as Sirius and I returned from dinner, we met Professor Flitwick in the corridor. He was struggling under the weight of what looked like a hundred text books and fifty rolls of parchments. Suddenly the pile collapsed and next minute he was trying to pick everything up off the floor.  
  
"Accio, accio," he was muttering desperately. "Oh, Potter, Black, could you possibly give me a hand? I am sorry to bother you, only..."  
  
It would have been heartless to refuse, so I began to gather up scrolls and books. Sirius did the same. "Where are you taking them?"  
  
"Up to my office in the south tower," he said. "Do you know where it is?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"I am sorry," he repeated. "It shouldn't take a minute, should it?"  
  
Typically, we were at the furthest point in the school away from South tower, but Sirius and I broke into a hasty trot and reached his office in a few minutes.  
  
"Phew!" Sirius said as we dumped the lot on his desk. "I ought to take up some of your training."  
  
I laughed. "Come on, let's go back."  
  
We were walking along the corridor when suddenly Sirius, who had been staring out of the window, let out a gasp. "James, James, look! It's Remus! I thought he was having an extra lesson with McGonagall?" 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: What is going on? Lita has been my only reviewer AGAIN and whilst this is very nice and I am very grateful, I am also slightly disappointed! REVIEW ppl! unless only one person is reading each time... OK, new definition of Mary Sue - basically someone perfect who doesn't do anything wrong, and is basically based on the author. Therefore Maria is not a Mary Sue bcos she is sporty and i am not. Also I hate her too. I am now cross with Eihwaz (now known as Flea) for inferring that Maria was based on me. Oh, and Lita... I would dearly love to introduce you as a character but I have kind of got my whole plot worked out... R AND R!  
  
Chapter 8  
  
I ran to the window and peered out. There was Remus all right, walking alongside Madam Pomfrey. "Do you think he's all right?" I noticed that he kept casting fearful looks at the sky.  
  
"What could be wrong with him? He was fine earlier. But where are they going? Nothing's that way except the Forbidden Forest and that ghastly Whomping tree thing."  
  
"Maybe he's got detention."  
  
"For doing what, exactly?" We both laughed but then I stopped.  
  
"Hey - what's Madam Pomfrey doing? She's poking the - doesn't she know you don't poke the Whomping Willow?"  
  
"It'll just poke her right back!"  
  
But it didn't. "It's stopped!"  
  
"And... Remus is... going in the Whomping Willow?" Sirius stared.  
  
We were both frowning by now. They had both disappeared. "Looks a bit kinky to me," Sirius said in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.  
  
A few minutes later, however, Madam Pomfrey reappeared. "But where's Remus?" I demanded.  
  
"How should I know?"  
  
We might have stood there all night if I hadn't suddenly checked my watch. "Christ, we'd better go! Come on!"  
  
"But Remus..."  
  
"You stay here if you want, then, but I have a date. See you later."  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming. But I thought she was just a friend?" he teased, running beside me.  
  
Maria was already at a table when we arrived.  
  
"Hi ya," I said, dropping into a seat and flashing her a grin. "How are you?"  
  
"Great," she smiled back. "Really good. I hear you won your Gryffindor match?"  
  
I was surprised, having not mentioned it in a letter. "Yeah... but how do you know?"  
  
"There's a little tiny section on the back page of the Daily Prophet called 'Schools' and I saw it there."  
  
I realised that she must have been looking for it and leaned forward to take her hand. She blushed a little.  
  
Sirius, still standing behind me but forgotten, gave a pointed cough. We both looked up, startled.  
  
"Oh, sorry, Sirius. Maria, this is Sirius - Sirius, Maria."  
  
"Pleased to meet you," she said.  
  
"And you," he grinned, taking the chair beside me.  
  
"I thought there were going to be three of you?"  
  
"Yes, so did we," Sirius answered before I could even open my mouth, "but then Remus vanished into -"  
  
"Sirius," I interrupted, "are you going to the bar?"  
  
He seemed to understand. "Yeah, OK, what do you want? Butterbeer?"  
  
I nodded and he strolled over to the bar.  
  
Maria was looking at me oddly. "What was he about to say?"  
  
"Nothing interesting. Remus is having extra lessons for Transfiguration, that's all, but he didn't want us to know. That's why we were nearly late, too - spying."  
  
She looked unconvinced, but nodded. I was relieved. "So, how's your Quidditch going?"  
  
She giggled. "Not bad. I might be able to play for Hogsmeade in the spring - now how does that compare to your playing for England?!"  
  
"That's brilliant," I said, although in truth I too couldn't help comparing it to my own success. "Especially as it's not even your main thing."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah." She glanced over at Sirius. "Um..."  
  
"Yeah, look, I'm really sorry he came," I apologised. "He got hold of your letter somehow, and..."  
  
"It's all right," she said. "I only... well, I just wanted to make sure he wouldn't come... every time."  
  
"I promise he won't. He just... oh, thanks, mate."  
  
"You talking about me?" Sirius said with a smile.  
  
"Yeah," I told him. "I was saying how horrible you are."  
  
Maria giggled again and brushed her hair back off her face. Sirius was watching me, for some reason. It made me awkward. "So, er, what else is happening with you? Dancing - yes, how's dancing?"  
  
Sirius was complimentary, but not gushing, as we crawled back through the basement of Honeydukes the sweet shop to the entrance back to Hogwarts.  
  
"She's pretty. Seems nice. Well done, J."  
  
"But?" I prompted.  
  
"Well, nothing. I just... oh, I dunno. It's just that she's so... girly. So... I don't know. She wouldn't say 'boo' to a goose!'  
  
I rolled my eyes. "That's ridiculous. She plays Quidditch as well as anyone, and it's a violent sport!"  
  
"Hmm... so you don't think she's a bit... wussy?"  
  
"No!"  
  
I waited for him to say more, but he didn't. Wearing the cloak, we scrambled out of the statue which concealed the passage and returned to the common room in silence of necessity - Professor Binns was following us - but I knew he was tense.  
  
Sirius recovered by morning, as I had hoped he would. Remus returned at breakfast, looking peaky but otherwise as normal. Sirius and I glanced at each other, but we had agreed not to say anything. Not yet.  
  
"So, Potter," said a cool but satisfied voice. Snape. "This yours?"  
  
He held out a crumpled piece of parchment. I took it - it was a letter from Maria, sent last night, to confirm our next date and saying she had enjoyed last night. How had Snape got hold of it?  
  
"Your owl, ahem, landed by me," he explained softly. "Planning a night out, I see? And had one last night? I'm sure Professor Sherwin would be interested to hear that there are students going to Hogsmeade... illegally."  
  
I could see many Slytherins watching for my reaction from their table. I couldn't possibly perform Memory Charms on all of them, to make them forget about Maria, although I could do one. I thought quickly. A short, sharp shock should do it.  
  
"You're just jealous because you'll never have a girlfriend, Snape. Cuniculus temporatis hostis!"  
  
Whiskers shot out of his face and his nose began to twitch like a rabbit's. "That's for intercepting my owl. Don't bother going to Madam Pomfrey. They'll only appear when I'm around to laugh."  
  
Snape's eyes narrowed, but he could not hide his fright.  
  
"Potter!"  
  
McGonagall, of course. The all-seeing, all-knowing, always-present and always-strict McGonagall.  
  
"Detention and twenty points from Gryffindor."  
  
"But he -"  
  
"It'll be more if you answer back. Reparo," she muttered, pointing her wand at Snape.  
  
I ignored Snape's gloating expression, however. He was scared of me now - that was enough.  
  
A/N: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! 


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: One review. Again. Thank you, Child-of-Scorpio. Incidentally I am Aries. And Eihwaz is Aquarius. I really doubt she even knows that. Um... I am trying to capitalise on half-term boredom by posting today so PLEASE, MORE PEOPLE REVIEW! I am metaphorically down on my knees begging. Which is sad. But hey. Pppplllllllleeeeaaaaasssssseee.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
For the rest of the month, I kept my eyes peeled for him and enough hexes and taunts in mind to curse and upset the whole year.  
  
"Hey, Snape, look who's here - furnunculus!"  
  
"Snivelly, how pleasant to see you. Wipe your nose - textum omnipraesentia!"  
  
"You look tired today, dear Snape. This should make you bright eyed, and, er, greasy tailed. Oculos lumos!"  
  
"Your voice annoys me, Snivellus. Aries vocatis!"  
  
After two weeks of nightly detentions, Sirius and I grew more practised at spotting teachers, and then distracting them or being sufficiently quiet that little could be proved as us. Snape was caught a few more times retaliating before he wizened up - although he seldom did Sirius or I any harm in the few actual duels we had, or when we got to him first. It was when he took us by surprise that he got us, and that only lessened the little respect I had for him even further. I had no more scruples about two, or occasionally three, against one, when he attacked from behind. No true wizard did that, and I certainly didn't. It was a trick of the dark side.  
  
The month of December was busy - I was out of Hogwarts every weekend, most often training with the England squad, but I went into Hogsmeade with the rest of my year to buy Christmas presents on a couple of occasions. Once in Zonko's, the joke shop, Sirius made a brilliant find.  
  
"James, look!" He held up a pair of small but ornate silver-backed mirrors.  
  
I laughed. "I knew you were vain, mate, but two identical mirrors?"  
  
"Come off it," he replied. "No - these mirrors are for communicating. Look, go over there with this and watch it."  
  
Bewildered but obedient, I retreated to the other side of the shop and waited. Suddenly Sirius' face swum into view.  
  
"Hi James!"  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"Yeah! And I can see you! How cool would these be in separate detentions?"  
  
I began to grin. "How much do they cost?"  
  
"Fifty galleons for the pair - there's only one lot in the entire wizarding world. Can we go halves and get one each for Christmas?"  
  
"Yes," I agreed immediately. "Excellent."  
  
Because the thing was, whilst we had taken pride in our first week of detentions, the second week had been more of a sacrifice. Detentions together could be even fun, but separate detentions were a bore, at the least. With these, though... we need never have a truly separate detention again.  
  
My first junior England match, against Germany, was a week before Christmas. Sirius and Remus, who had come to stay at my house for the holiday, came to watch, as did Mum and Dad. I had not been moved to Chaser, as the manager thought it would be good for me to vary what I played, so I was against a very small girl who didn't look like she wanted to be there. Perhaps it was because of that that she didn't seem to be playing very well. Or maybe I was just expecting too much. Either way, it was clear from the start that I was the stronger player. Only a fluke would let her win.  
  
However, halfway through the match a Bludger hit her in the arm and she had to be carried off. In her place was a taller boy with nasty, determined eyes and thick eyebrows. He was far more equally matched with me - I could not understand why he had been their reserve.  
  
Meanwhile, our team was leading, but only by ten points. I peered around for the Snitch, but low cloud cover was making it more difficult. Rain would be worse, though. It looked like we had ten minutes, maximum, before it would start pouring.  
  
At last a gold glitter caught my eye, but my opponent had had a head start. I laid flat on my broom and managed to overtake him, but I was going too fast to grab the Snitch. I heard his laugh, but I had heard a tip from Geoff Bones on how to cope with this. I knew it was potentially dangerous, particularly the first time, but I had no time to think - I yanked my broom head up and flew into a miraculously neat backward roll and snatched the Snitch just as my rival's hand stretched out.  
  
"Ha ha! Look who's laughing now!" I shouted over my shoulder as I soared to the ground, hands free and whooping.  
  
I felt myself caught between the Beaters, who landed but continued to run, lifting me high. This was the life, I grinned. I was the hero now - victory snatched from the other team's hands.  
  
Cameras flashed as the others landed round us, cheering and yelling. Our manager ran onto the pitch, arms raised and robes flapping.  
  
"Well done, Potter!" he called. "Brilliant! That was superb inspiration, that roll - excellent!"  
  
"Go, James! That was spectacular!" shouted our Keeper.  
  
I chuckled. "His face! That stupid git's face!"  
  
'That stupid git' overheard and spat at the ground. "Ooh, temper, temper," yelled our captain, George. "Sore loser, are you? No match for our Potter, oh no! Never."  
  
Finally I was allowed to dismount. Sirius and Remus were pushing their way through the crowd massing on the pitch, that parted as I walked forward.  
  
"You go, mate!" Sirius crowed as I reached them. Remus clapped me on the back. "Snape'll be sick as a pig."  
  
"Looks like one too," I smirked.  
  
"A photo of the team?" said a rough but smarmy voice. "Perhaps?"  
  
I backtracked and was shoved to the front of the group. "Our hero!"  
  
I didn't bother to shut them up. I was basking in it.  
  
"Smile, please!"  
  
But I already was.  
  
Remus went home on New Year's Eve, but Sirius stayed the entire holiday.  
  
"I'm surprised your parents don't want you home," Mum said fondly.  
  
"Nah. They don't approve of me. A Gryffindor, and all that."  
  
"But Gryffindor's the best house! What is there not to approve of you?"  
  
"They prefer Slytherin," he said sullenly. "That's the sort of thing they do approve of."  
  
Mum and I glanced at each other. I had never realised that Sirius' parents were like that.  
  
Sirius and I returned to school with the mirrors and an assortment of other accoutrements for making havoc, many given to us by Remus. Thus provided, the first few weeks were a riot of bubbling corridors, icy - literally - classrooms and freak snowstorms in the Great Hall. Pringle went mad. We were almost permanently stalked, but we were becoming experts at covering our tracks. Snape had begun to go out of his way to avoid us. I spent most of the time laughing aloud as his bag disappeared round corners and behind statues.  
  
The first week of February brought a shock, however. Remus was standing with Sirius and I, admiring the steady rain falling on the Slytherin table, when suddenly he gave a yelp and sprinted out of the hall.  
  
"What -?"  
  
"Come on," Sirius muttered. "Let's follow him."  
  
We ran, dodging behind things as he turned several times, all the way to the hospital wing. "Remus!" cried Madam Pomfrey. "Where have you been?"  
  
"I don't know how - I forgot - how can I forget, I've never done that before..."  
  
"Come on, hurry. We don't have much time, do we?"  
  
Remus checked his watch. "Ten minutes," he moaned. They began to walk briskly out of the castle. Sirius and I crept behind, more mystified than ever. Madam Pomfrey and Remus kept looking up at the sky - I remembered this from last time.  
  
"You must promise to run if I start transforming. Tell everyone to stay indoors. I'll leave tomorrow. I should never have come here." Remus' voice was shrill - loud enough for Sirius and I to hear.  
  
"Transforming?" I muttered. And then I stopped.  
  
Sirius' eyes slid up to the sky. Full moon.  
  
"Oh my God," he whispered. "Remus is a..."  
  
"... Werewolf," I finished.  
  
Remus returned to breakfast the next morning with a scratched face and shadowed eyes. "What happened to you?" Sirius asked pointlessly.  
  
"Oh, nothing. I just fell over, that's all. Stupid of me."  
  
"You look like you've had a fight with the Whomping Willow," I commented sagely.  
  
"Yeah, you did go to Madam Pomfrey, didn't you?" Sirius chipped in.  
  
The penny was slowly dropping, I could see. He stared at us, wide-eyed.  
  
"What, Rem? Is there something wrong? Something you need to tell us?" Sirius inquired.  
  
"Er -"  
  
"Maybe we should talk after breakfast," I suggested. "Go into full details, eh, Remus? Snouts and all."  
  
We weren't trying to be funny, but Remus attempted a laugh before falling into a long, despondent silence.  
  
"OK, Rem, tell us everything," Sirius ordered once we'd found an empty classroom. It was a Saturday, so there were no lessons. I was skipping Quidditch practice - this was more important.  
  
"Um."  
  
"Remus, come on," I said. "We already know that you're a werewolf, so -"  
  
He winced. "Keep your voice down!" Then he stared at the floor. "Well, actually, what's the point?"  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"Oh, come on. Nobody wants to be friends with a... one of me. They don't even want to be near one. So shout it out and enough letters will come from parents that I have to leave. Go on." He kicked a desk unhappily. "I said, go on!" And then, for the first and last time I ever saw, Remus cried. Great, choking, whole body sobs that shuddered through him. We were flabbergasted.  
  
"We don't want you to leave!"  
  
He waved me away. "Of course you do. Why would anyone care that all I've ever wanted is to come to school, have friends? I'm a werewolf, I don't deserve dreams!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's what you think, isn't it? It's what everyone thinks. You loathe me - worse. You fear me. Have you any idea what that's like?"  
  
"Remus, wait." Sirius put a firm hand on his shoulder. "No, we don't want you to leave. We don't hate you and we're certainly not scared of you. In short, we couldn't give a damn what you are. My parents are dark wizards working for the darkest one of all - does that make me a bad person? A lot of people might think so, but I trust you two not to."  
  
"If anything, we want to help you!" I added.  
  
Remus stared. "W-w-what?"  
  
"Listen, there must be some way we can... accompany you, or something?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know. I never considered it. Nobody would've wanted to. You're the first friends I've had since I was bitten when I was three. That's nine years of loneliness. I didn't really consider friendship during my transformations. I was more working on how to get any friends."  
  
I swallowed. How truly, truly horrible.  
  
"Well, you've got us now."  
  
He nodded slowly. "Professor Dumbledore was good to let me in here," he said. "No one else would have."  
  
"Dumbledore is good, full stop, Moony," Sirius said.  
  
"Moony?" Remus blinked.  
  
"Yeah, well, why not? Nobody else'll guess why and I like it."  
  
"Well... OK," Remus said. "Moony it is." And he grinned. 


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: MUCH better! Thank you so much. I have decided to reward you (and cash in on this holiday winning streak thing, mwahaha) by updating again! Ok... in reverse order - Teenage Drama Queen, I love your name and I SO agree with you. Madame-knight, I am honoured that you feel my story deserves reviewing ;-). Child-of-Scorpio... wot can i say but yes, I felt sorry for Remus too as i wrote it, lol. And Lita - wow, I HAV to dedicate a chapter to you. You are really supportive and great. Thanx. (oh and my dad is a libra... lol. as r my two best friends...) Chapter 9  
  
One day soon after this, I was walking along with Sirius when a name caught my ear. "Lord Voldemort's recruited my brother, of course," said Marcius Malfoy's voice. "Lucius was one of the first, in fact. My family's always thought that muggles and mudbloods ought to be wiped out, and when he heard about Lord Voldemort..."  
  
Sirius appeared to be horrified by something, but I was too pre-occupied to notice. Voldemort - that was the name of the person I had heard Professor Dumbledore talking to Professor McGonagall about last year.  
  
"So will you be joining?" asked Snape's voice.  
  
"As soon as I get out of this school, of course. But he only wants over-age supporters."  
  
"Not that any pureblood of any age should have any trouble fighting a mudblood," a boy called Rosier said savagely. "Like that Lily Evans - thinks she's so good, but only purebloods can be really talented."  
  
My muscles were tensing, but I knew I should not give away our presence.  
  
"What I want to know," said Snape, "is what happens to muggle-lovers like the Potters."  
  
Sirius grabbed my arm, but I wasn't going to attack.  
  
"Oh, they'll go, definitely."  
  
There was a hiss of satisfaction. "What I wouldn't give to be the one to get arrogant, stuck-up Potter," rasped Snape. "I'd laugh as I killed him..."  
  
Sirius looked revolted as the others laughed.  
  
"And what about Black?"  
  
"Yes... but his parents -" Sirius leapt forward now, inexplicably giving me a terrified look.  
  
"WHAT ABOUT MY PARENTS?"  
  
There was a round of laughter. "You mean, Mummy and Daddy don't trust you to know?"  
  
"I know," Sirius shouted, "just as much as you! But unlike you, it makes me sick!"  
  
I was bemused, but as he began to hex them, I joined in heartily.  
  
"What was all that about?" I inquired as we walked away.  
  
"Nothing," he said shortly. "Nothing."  
  
I knew better than to press it.  
  
In early April Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw in a fairly non-descript match. We were now tying at the top of the Quidditch cup league with Slytherin, but still none of the victory seemed to be due to me. I had a taste for glory now, but admiration was only coming from my own class, and some other few. Apart from that, I was unknown - or else people were downright rude.  
  
One day in May, a Ravenclaw first year, a cocky little sod, came up to me outside Charms.  
  
"You're James Potter," he said snootily.  
  
"Well done. I'm afraid I have no idea who you are," I replied cuttingly.  
  
"Good. I wouldn't want to be known by a cheater and heartless git."  
  
I gaped, and heard Lily Evans snort with laughter behind me. It rankled, even though I did not like her any more.  
  
"Heartless, am I?" I grabbed the front of his shirt. "A cheater, am I? Well, let us see how a cheater can recall a few jinxes to make your little life a bit painful for an hour." I muttered some incantations - sparks flew. "There - ooh, I love the pink hair, mister. And I hope you don't mind having a lisp for a while..."  
  
"Hey!" snapped a Ravenclaw girl in my year. "That's my brother!"  
  
"Then teach him some manners," I replied coolly.  
  
"There was no call for you to do that. I've been called worse than that - clearly something hit home," she retaliated.  
  
"Or maybe I enjoy using hexes, and I don't bother with patience. Anyway, I'm sure you'd like to use worse on him." I switched on my 100 mega-watt charming grin and watched her melt.  
  
"Yeah, maybe," she murmured.  
  
He was the first person I had ever hexed apart from Snape, but I was growing accustomed to using them. I conjured water bullets to clear a blocked hallway and, amidst cheers, jinxed the person who was playing a game to hold everyone up. I hexed a Slytherin who was trying to threaten me outside the Great Hall. I cursed a boy who I heard call his friend 'as bad as a werewolf,' causing Remus to pale.  
  
Sirius was as good - or bad, whichever way you looked at it. We each got a couple more detentions, but as the exams passed and summer loomed, we cared less than ever. The only major event left was the Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match.  
  
Tensions were running high - it was the deciding match in the awarding of the Quidditch cup. Only the Slytherins supported their own team; Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff wanted us to win. Many people came to me with tips and good luck, but the Slytherins were somehow just as pro-active.  
  
"So it's tonight, is it," yelled a laughing first year as I passed, "that we kidnap the oh-so-great Potter?"  
  
I spun round. "Pedi capricorni!" I shouted. His hands and feet changed to hooves and he dropped to all fours. His face, understandably, was a picture of terror and humiliation as I began to mock. "So, what a fine kidnapper. I'll never hear your cute little cloven hoofs galloping up to capture me. Looks like the oh-so-brilliant Potter had struck again, doesn't it? Well, you know now not to cross me."  
  
"Potter!" Damnation! Why was she always there? "Potter, is this your doing?"  
  
"I was provoked, Professor McGonagall."  
  
"I'm sure you were," she said dryly, "but imagine what would happen if everyone lost their temper for every provocation."  
  
I widened my eyes. "That wasn't my temper," I said. "That was my sensible action to avoid being kidnapped by him."  
  
For once in her life McGonagall looked stumped. Then, however, she spoke the words that made my face fall. "Potter, Professor Dumbledore wants to speak to you."  
  
I hardly noticed where we were going as I walked in dismay beside her. Only once we had reached his office did I begin to pay attention.  
  
"Chocolate frog," Professor McGonagall said briskly, and we marched through the opening doors.  
  
"Are you free now, Professor?"  
  
Professor Dumbledore looked up from a Daily Prophet and beamed. "Yes, yes, Minerva. Just perusing the crossword section."  
  
"Well, then, I've brought James Potter to talk to you."  
  
He turned to me and smiled reassuringly. "Guilty conscience? Well, we'll talk about that shortly. You may go, Minerva."  
  
"Yes, Professor Dumbledore."  
  
"Albus," he corrected cheerily as she departed. "Now, James..." It was the first time I had been called James by a teacher. I was surprised but said nothing. "I gather that this time you gave a Slytherin cloven hoofs?"  
  
I nodded. I didn't ask how he knew.  
  
"I also gather that you were at least semi-provoked. So all I will say about that is - try to avoid causing lasting harm to people, and... don't abuse the respect you have earnt from your peers through Quidditch, excellent grades and some... mischief."  
  
I smiled, and his blue eyes twinkled. "What I actually wanted to talk to you about, however, is a matter concerning Mr Remus Lupin. I hear that you and Sirius Black have worked out his little secret?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"I had expected you and Mr Black to realise soon enough. You are, after all, our best pupils. However, I must impress on you now the importance of care."  
  
I was bemused. I had come in expecting to be suspended, at the least, and now he wanted to talk about caring for Moony. "Care, sir?"  
  
"Yes. Care of his feelings, care of his health, care that no-one else finds out."  
  
I swallowed. "Sirius and I wouldn't tell anyone else. Ever."  
  
"No, of course you wouldn't - deliberately. I trust you both. The only reason I want to talk to you about it is because... well, what prompted me to think of it was your attack on the boy being degrading about werewolves. I see that you are a fiercely protective friend, and I take delight in it. It is an admirable thing to be - one who would, I believe, die before killing a friend, is a true wizard, however they might appear otherwise." He smiled. "However, it is also a dangerous thing to be, for yourself, and possibly the friend you are trying to protect, especially if it is a matter like this. Secrecy is crucial, and it is very important that you don't let anything slip in a fit of pique. I have seen it happen before. Your friend Mr Black is just as, well, reckless when it comes to rules, but I think he does not share your greatest strength - and weakness. Just be careful, that's all I say."  
  
I felt ashamed, yet I had not done anything. A sense of injustice began to creep in at that thought. Why was he having a go at me for something I hadn't done?  
  
"I'm merely trying to stop a mistake," he said. "I'm not criticising you. It is a person like you that I would trust with my life. I would just remind you that if the wrong person knew about Remus, it would cost him a fulfilled life, if not an actual life."  
  
I left Dumbledore's office under the impression that he had been telling me something very important in there. Not the point about Remus - I knew that that was important - but the bit about 'my greatest strength'. Didn't everyone feel that a friend's life was, if necessary, the most important thing? Apparently not. I shook myself. It was just a small thing, I decided. Nothing to dwell on. And at least I wasn't in trouble - not even a detention, this time. He had hardly even reprimanded me.  
  
The big day of Gryffindor versus Slytherin dawned grey and wet, but I wasn't too nervous until I entered the changing rooms, where all of my team mates were looking glum. "We've never beaten Slytherin before," Geoff informed me grimly when I asked why he was in such a foul temper. "Certainly not in this weather." A flicker of self-doubt shot through me, but surely everything would be all right. It was only a cup, after all - but it wasn't. It had become, over the years, symbolic, and now, with relations between Snape and I at their worst, it was particularly important.  
  
I strode out onto the soggy pitch in my red robes, trying to be optimistic, but from the moment we left the ground it was hopeless. For the first ten minutes, I didn't even see the Quaffle, and neither did any of the Slytherins, so far as I could make out. At last the whistle went for time out and we streaked to the ground.  
  
"This is absurd," I moaned, but a figure was running onto the pitch. "Remus!"  
  
"Impervius," he muttered, grinning and waving his wand over the Gryffindor team. Suddenly the rain began to stream backwards, away from us. Visibility was poor, still, but at least the sky wasn't opaque any more. Geoff Bones clapped Remus on the back ferociously, lamenting his own stupidity in not considering it. We left the ground again, and now I was on a roll.  
  
Goal after goal shot through the Slytherin hoops over the next hour, and not a point was scored by them in return. We led by one hundred points, one hundred and ten, twenty, thirty points... I did a loop the loop in triumph. We were winning by one hundred and fifty points when Slytherin scored. I laughed, feeling reckless, when I saw a terrifying sight. The Slytherin Seeker was soaring up to a glitter of gold by our goal, and Geoff was streaking too far behind. We were only leading by one hundred and forty points - we were about to lose. I flattened myself to my broom, intercepted the Quaffle, dived towards the goal and scored once - Weasley was hovering behind the goal, mesmerised by the sight of the Seekers. The Slytherin keeper had been too, to my relief.  
  
"Arthur!" I screamed. He caught the Quaffle but did nothing. I glanced over my shoulder. I had ten seconds, tops. I shot forward, nearly knocking the Slytherin keeper off his broom, snatched the Quaffle, went back round and shot again - just as the final whistle went.  
  
But had I been fast enough?  
  
The Slytherins were celebrating in the stadium - the Gryffindor flags were being lowered. I had been too late. Damn Arthur Weasley. We could have done it, if he'd been concentrating.  
  
The pitch was a blur of whooping, cheering green and silver flags as the team landed. I, however, stayed in the air for as long as possible. I didn't want to go down, but finally I knew I had to. Professor Dumbledore coughed once on the podium and the whole crowd turned to watch as he lifted the Quidditch cup.  
  
"Well done, Slytherin," he said. "That was an excellent catch, Crabbe... but I'm afraid I have bad news for you Slytherin supporters." We all waited. "It is Gryffindor house that has won the Quidditch cup, thanks to two last second goals by one James Potter. Congratulations!"  
  
So at last I was the Gryffindor hero. The Slytherins were furious, but I didn't care. Even Lily Evans smiled up at me as I was lifted above the rest, but then she caught herself and looked away. My grin was almost painful, but I didn't care. I had done it. I had won us the Quidditch cup.  
  
"Here's to James Potter!" yelled the team.  
  
Sirius was just tumbling through the portrait hole, arms clearly full of food, when I arrived. As I entered the common room, I could see why - there was a party going strong, with the cup at the centre of the room.  
  
"Straight from the kitchens!" Sirius was laughing as people helped him and Remus unload their supplies onto a central table. "Just call us the Marauders - and James too, it was him that found the way in first time."  
  
"Hey, Sirius!" I called.  
  
"And here's James himself!"  
  
I found myself swamped by a crowd of cheering, yelling people - I emerged with the Gryffindor flag tied round my neck, the lion roaring playfully at strategic points. I grinned.  
  
"We'd have been lost without you, mate," said a fifth year I'd never spoken to before. "Ten normal goals single-handed, and then those sneaky two at the end - amazing!"  
  
"Yeah," said a fourth year girl. "I took a review with my omnioculars from the last World Cup - it was brill!"  
  
"Lupin stopped the rain, Potter scored the goals and Black's bringing the food! Three cheers for the Marauders!"  
  
It was the perfect end to the year.  
  
A/N: So keep up reviewing... oh, and Eihwaz feels she has not contributed for a while... so here is her wonderful contribution.. Default B/N: subliminal message Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! A/N: Please review in spite of that... 


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: The customary thank you to lita and madame-knight, our INCREDIBLY faithful reviewers, and aurora-borealis too. Lita - James DOES like Lily, he is just in denial. Madame-knight - here you go! And now I hand over to Eihwaz... B/N: Worship Sev No, seriously, I am so happy! I got rid of Maria!  
  
*grins evilly* Yup, that's right folks, if the 'Egypt' scene seems awful  
  
to you, that's cuz I hijacked it! And dealt with her once and for all!  
  
(You can tell how happy I am by the excessive use of exclamation marks!)  
  
...Why Egypt? Ask Lourdaise. Her idea. Everything else came from my  
  
twisted imagination, though. Camels and lavender-scented paper included... Chapter 11  
  
I was spectacularly bored. My parents, with their rather individual ideas on the subject of a relaxing holiday, had insisted on a three-week trek across Egypt. On camelback.  
  
Which was why I was now soaking my poor, agonised body in warm, bubbling water, muttering to myself about the injustice of it all. Why couldn't I just ride my broomstick? It would be a lot less painful, and Mum could cast a glamour charm to make it look like one of the evil creatures in case any muggles were around - but no. Both parents were unanimous: we were to absorb some local culture, and how better to gain an understanding of the native customs than by taking part in them? At least our tent had all magical mod cons, including the jacuzzi I was currently lounging in.  
  
Yet all good things must come to an end, and eventually I hauled myself out. I was towelling off when Neptune swooped into the tent, carrying a letter. A letter on lavender parchment. I groaned. I could guess who it was from. I rummaged around for some owl treats and filled a dish with water, then unrolled the scroll.  
  
I gagged. Lavender-scented as well. Without breathing, I skimmed through the first paragraph.  
  
'Dear James,  
  
I'm so sorry about next Saturday. I know I promised you that I would come and see you. And honestly, I do want to, but my tutor has just entered me for a dance competition. And it... kind of overlaps. It's not that you're second-best or anything, but you know how important this kind of thing is to me. I knew you'd understand!'  
  
Understand? I was furious. What gave her the right to just brush me off like that? Just because she was my girlfriend didn't mean she could treat me like this. I had never really liked her that way anyway, I realised. She was, as Sirius had said, so... prissy.  
  
Not bothering to read the rest of the letter, I scribbled a reply to the effect that I no longer wished to be associated with her. She obviously had no respect for me and besides, a girlfriend out of school where no-one could see her - it didn't fit my image. Finishing with a formal 'Yours sincerely, James Potter', I rolled up the parchment and tied it to Neptune's leg. She flew off, and I heaved a sigh of relief. No more Maria to deal with. No more lavender-scented parchment. Things could only get better. Now all I had to contend with was one more week of sand. And camels.  
  
I returned to school in September as a third year with tanned skin, a hatred of all quadrupeds with humps and a wish to lock Snape in a pyramid. I had not seen Sirius or Remus since July, but unlike last year they had not changed much. The only difference was that Sirius and I paid the girls that were hanging over us again more attention. Last year Sirius had only been trying to look cool with his new look - this year we had been told to buy dress robes for a ball at Christmas, and we were both looking to go with pretty girls.  
  
Third year started off much like the last, except now there were a couple of new subjects. I had chosen to take Muggle Studies and Divination on the basis that they would be easy - Sirius, of course, was with me, but Remus had taken Arithmancy instead of Divination.  
  
"I see no reason to want to spot death in a tea cup," he said.  
  
"But Arithmancy..."  
  
"Yes, it's challenging, but I like it. Like I say, not all of us want to see happiness in an upside down bowler hat," he commented, staring at my text book with markedly raised eyebrows, "and depression in everything else." He had a point. The first lesson had been a joke, with Professor Misty predicting that Sirius would die, I would run away from home and one of the Hufflepuffs would be expelled. Only one person had been granted a happy forecast.  
  
"Exploding snap anyone?" I suggested weakly.  
  
We were officially told about the Yule Ball a couple of weeks before Halloween. It was open to third years and above, or younger if you had an eligible date.  
  
"I suppose it would be noble to ask a first or second year," Sirius sniggered one evening.  
  
"Yeah... who are you really going to ask?"  
  
"I dunno. I'll take my pick soon. Who do you think is prettier - Rosanne Night or Emma Bones?"  
  
I considered. "Emma," I said. "Probably."  
  
"Yes... yes, I'll ask her then."  
  
"But Rosanne's a Gryffindor."  
  
"Oh, don't make this complicated, J. I'm going entirely on looks!" he scolded.  
  
Of course, the person who I had in mind for taking to the dance was Lily Evans. Yes, I had tried to hate her last year, but it had not been very successful. All I needed to do was dazzle her with my smile, and I'd have her exactly where I wanted her. Wouldn't I?  
  
"So, Evans," I said, working my way to her side after Charms one day in early November. She eyed me suspiciously.  
  
"Yes, Potter?"  
  
"I was thinking... about this dance..."  
  
She frowned. "Yes..."  
  
"Would you like to go with me?"  
  
She continued to pack her bag. "Thanks," she said at last, and I began to smile, "but - no."  
  
"No?"  
  
"That's right. Sorry to shock you," she said, walking off. "But I don't find your personality attractive."  
  
So. My first rejection. It left me down for a few days, but then that I decided to lift my image a little further. I couldn't be bothered to try and hate Lily Evans again, but I wasn't going to mope. I would just ask someone else.  
  
I waited until a fortnight ahead of the dance before asking Annie Griffiths, a Ravenclaw in my year, to come with me. She was pretty, and rather more receptive to the idea of coming with me than Lily had been.  
  
"I'm amazed no one else has asked you," she giggled.  
  
"They have," I said truthfully. "But, you know... I had my eye on someone else."  
  
She need never know that that someone else had actually been Lily Evans.  
  
Our first Quidditch match as reigning champions was against Slytherin. They had reshuffled their team a little, as had we, but despite the fact that they were stronger, we won again.  
  
"Don't let's get cocky, though," Geoff Bones warned. "I've heard that Ravenclaw has a very strong side this year, and even Hufflepuff has that Amos Diggory bloke. I'm glad we've beaten Slytherin, but just because they were the deciding match last year doesn't mean they are this year. Please keep a sense of perspective and realism."  
  
"Party pooper," muttered Arthur Weasley. I grinned in agreement.  
  
"I heard that, Weasley! Please bear in mind the fact that you're sweet on my sister!"  
  
Arthur grimaced, but also reddened.  
  
"What, Emma?" I asked.  
  
"No - Molly," he muttered. "He wasn't supposed to know!"  
  
I smiled. "Well, never mind. Ask her to the Ball - then there'll be no risk of her finding out from him first."  
  
"It's not that easy!"  
  
"Yeah, it is."  
  
"Who're you taking, then?"  
  
"Annie Griffiths."  
  
He looked perplexed, then replied sagely, "Yes, well, that's different. Isn't it?"  
  
Yes. I supposed it was.  
  
Three days before the Yule Ball, Sirius and I were leaving the Great Hall after dinner when we heard whimpering coming from the entrance to the dungeons. We exchanged glances.  
  
"Let go of me, Snape!"  
  
"I want you to promise," snarled a familiar voice.  
  
"No! I won't!"  
  
"Then let's just stay here for a while longer. Why won't you spy on them for me? Oculos lumos!"  
  
"Copycat," I muttered to Sirius. "Can you tell who he's bullying?"  
  
We listened intently. "Because they're - they're better than - aaaaaaggggggghhhh!"  
  
"It's that Peter Pettigrew, I think. Three guesses who Snape wants him to spy on."  
  
I grinned, but then frowned. "We'd better rescue him."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
We drew our wands and approached the source of the noise. It was indeed Peter, his eyes blazing light and his hands scratched. His feet were doing the maniac tap dance that Snape had made us do.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" I shouted, and caught Snape's wand while Sirius sorted Peter.  
  
"Next time, Snivellus," Sirius said cruelly, "pick on someone your own greasiness. Oh, I'm sorry - everyone else here washes, so you wouldn't be able to bully anyone, would you?"  
  
"Give me my wand!"  
  
"I see no reason to," I said slowly. "I could just walk off with it. As far as I can tell, all that can be achieved by your having it back is your using it on us. Whereas like this - well, it's armed three versus unarmed one, isn't it?"  
  
He lunged towards me but Sirius was quick. "Impendimenta!"  
  
Snape fell back.  
  
"Peter, come with us," I said. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yes," he said. "Yes, I'm OK. I don't know what he would have done next, though. Thank you for rescuing me. I'm not a very good wizard, I don't think."  
  
"I can assure you, neither is he. He wouldn't have managed to do you any lasting harm, would you, Snivellus?" I snorted with laughter. "Here, have your wand. We're leaving. The impendimenta will wear off soon - goodbye!"  
  
And after that, Peter became one of our group; one of the Marauders, as we were now called - the one-off nickname had stuck. We had gone from three to four and I was happy with the change. Peter had been right, he was not a very good wizard, but he admired Sirius, Remus and I, and so he stayed. We looked after him in return for support and deference.  
  
A/N: REVIEW! REVIEW! And prepare for a vote in the next chappie's A/N... mwahahahahaaa 


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thanks again, 3 is a decided improvement on 1 per chapter but MORE, people, MORE!!!! *cackles manically*. Er, yeah... Lita - coincidence about your suggestion on POVs - see my vote at the bottom of the chapter. As for Sirius' date being you... well, you are welcome to imagine whatever you like!! I don't think I mentioned his date much, as it happens... aurora- borealis - lol... Child-of-Scorpio - nope, no review... maybe it didnt work? that has happened to me. but here's ur update! glad u liked chap 11.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
The Yule Ball itself was an interesting experience. Remus, Sirius and I had decided on plain black dress robes, as had Peter, but the girls were dressed in many different colours. A pang went through me when I saw Lily Evans in a dress of bright green to match her eyes, but there was no boy for me to envy, at least. She had apparently chosen to go with her girl friends, as a feminist statement. I avoided looking at her too much.  
  
Annie was wearing burgundy robes and did look stunning - just not as flooring as Lily. Yet evidently all the other boys thought Annie looked better - was it just something that only I could see that attracted me to Lily? Apparently so. Still, I noticed most of the girls staring at me, and so I determined not to care.  
  
The hall itself was spectacular, a mirage of floating candles and wizard tinsel. Food was piled on tables at the sides and in the middle was a dance floor. Professor Dumbledore and the other staff sat at the top table by the stage, where the musicians were playing. A popular band had been hired, and after only ten minutes or so, people were dancing. It wasn't a group I listened to much - in fact, I personally preferred Muggle music, having grown up listening to it at primary school, but I didn't admit to that. This music was OK, and it was easy to dance to, but it wasn't really that great, I thought. Still, everyone else seemed to appreciate it, so that was good enough. Even Professor McGonagall was tapping her foot to the weird, eerie beat.  
  
I soon discovered that charming girls was good fun. I had never really bothered, with Maria, but now I found that my quick wits came in useful for flirting as well as fighting. While the band took a break halfway through the evening, I took Annie's hand and led her outside. There were already a few couples standing around - we stood, partially obscured by a shrub from everyone else, in silence for a minute, then I grinned and leaned over. Sirius and I had made a bet on who could kiss their date that evening, and I had determined to win. Annie was certainly happy enough to help me, I found.  
  
"Ooh, you sneak!" Sirius teased later. "I was so convinced that I was going to win."  
  
I grinned at him and messed up my hair, checked in the mirror, held out a hand for the five Galleons I had won then began to make for the portrait hole.  
  
"You don't even know her!" he called after me.  
  
"Does that matter?" I shot back. "See you later."  
  
Annie and I were having a whirlwind of a romance. Sirius was right, I hardly knew her, and what I did know of her I often disliked, but she would do for now.  
  
We spent much of the holidays out in the grounds or in Hogsmeade, often joined by Sirius and Emma Bones, or Remus or Peter. By the end of January, however, I had tired of her affected giggles and airs once and for all - enough, after all, was enough.  
  
"Why do you do that?" I demanded as she giggled shrilly at something Peter - who was with us - had said.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"That awful 'hee-hee-hee' thing. It's so annoying. In fact, no - you're so annoying. Through and through."  
  
She stared at me. "What?"  
  
"I said, you're annoying. You're irritating. You drive me mad. You are a constant harassment. And so from this moment, we are no longer going out. We are over, finished."  
  
"You can't do that!"  
  
"Clearly," I drawled, "I can - I just did." I stood up lazily. "See you around. Coming, Peter?"  
  
"That," he said admiringly as we walked away, "was pure cool."  
  
By the following afternoon, I had a new girlfriend - a Gryffindor this time, Rosanne. She was a good sight more fun than Annie, although not quite as pretty. It took longer to bewitch her into adoring me, and thus into kissing me, but even then, not more than a couple of days. And, as I told Sirius, I was a sportsman. The chase was as good as the reward - so long as the reward would eventually come. It was time to forget Lily Evans - not hate her, that was pointless, but just be indifferent to her. In truth, she was too bookish to fit my new role as heartbreaker. Besides, the fact remained that only I seemed able to see how she was particularly attractive. She was definitely not suitable. I avoided her two best friends, as well. She was popular with the girls, but, as Peter told me, having usefully overheard a conversation between some other girls, only her best friends were in agreement with her boycott of Sirius and I.  
  
It took me a month to grow weary of Rosanne and three weeks to tire of her successor. By then it was the end of March. Sirius and I were both on the prowl for our next conquests.  
  
"I think I'll go for Annie Griffiths next, actually," Sirius mused in the common room. "I know she annoyed you, but I'm only out there for one thing. I don't share your love of pursuit."  
  
"Only because you're no good at it," I laughed.  
  
"Oh, I so am," he retorted. "I just don't see the point. There are enough girls in our year who just want to go out with one of us for the kicks that I don't bother with the ones that don't."  
  
"Neither do I," I admitted. "So, what was your problem with Emma Bones?"  
  
"Nothing much, only she wanted to spend too much time with me. But I'm not sure you should try for her yet - wait til next year, perhaps, when Geoff isn't Quidditch captain?"  
  
I raised a finger. "That is a very good point. So who else...?"  
  
It was amazing how tactical serial dating and heartbreaking was. You avoided Slytherins and Lily Evans' clique, but apart from that it was pure easy logic. Sirius and I worked together, because very few girls were happy to go from one of us to the other immediately. Once you had split up from a girl, you had to have one other girlfriend before you started on a friend of hers - that gave them time to be 'loyal' before giving into charm. Also, you had to be careful only to let boys see when you had one girlfriend in the morning, and a different one in the afternoon. That way, you got a reputation for being a cool womaniser, but the girls didn't think less of you.  
  
Sirius and I had done calculations for the next four years as well as this year.  
  
"Well, let's say that there's at least twelve suitable girls in our year, probably fifteen..."  
  
"And then ten in each year joining..."  
  
"And a month, on average, for each..."  
  
"That means about a year and a half until we've run through our year, then an extra year for each lower year..."  
  
"Plus a couple of older girls, for credos..."  
  
"But minus ugly ones..."  
  
"Oh yeah... Then again, some girls wouldn't mind a second chance."  
  
I nodded agreement. Annie Griffiths had already started making doe eyes at me again. "We don't want to look like complete perverts, though. I mean, we don't want to be going out with first years when we're in sixth year."  
  
He grinned. "Some first years might be very good."  
  
I shuddered. "OK, OK, you're welcome to them. I shall stick to people nearer my own age."  
  
He took a piece of paper and drew up a table. "Right..." He waved his wand over it and figures appeared. "Well, give or take a few, we should have about enough. Without being, ahem, perverts."  
  
Remus shook his head despairingly. "Mightn't you want to settle down with one at some point?"  
  
Sirius paused. "Maybe."  
  
"But chance'd be a fine thing," I finished.  
  
Even Peter was staring at Remus in surprise.  
  
April was a month of shock to the wizarding world. Shock from deaths. First were two basically unknown adults who worked at the Ministry of Magic. Then, just three weeks later, came the death of a Ravenclaw, Joyce Simpson. The Daily Prophet went mad, naming suspects, interviewing everyone from the families of victims to people who might have been witnesses if they hadn't been doing something else. This went on for a few days before an anonymous letter was left at the press office, explaining that Lord Voldemort had arrived. It didn't take much brainpower to see the connection. And over the next few days, more and more of these messages began appearing. One said 'death to muggles and mudbloods'. Another said simply 'Avada kedavra - the killing curse'. All these were published in the Daily Prophet, and Professor Dumbledore could be seen looking very grave.  
  
"This heralds the start of a new era," he said unexpectedly during dinner one day. He never usually made speeches then. "A new era in which many of you will be hurt, many of you will make sacrifices, and many of you will have to cope with things that are unfair to ask of you. It will be a time of grief, of struggle and failure - but, I hope, it will be a time when Hogwarts can unite and help each other, a time when hidden strengths will be used. Many of you will be needed in the coming years. I am relying on all of you to lead as normal a life as possible, but also to be watchful and careful. I urge you to be considerate, be kind, and above all, resist temptation. Voldemort has shown already that he has the capacity to spread discord and fear - above all, fear. He will tempt many of you with things he may be able to offer, but remember - love is the greatest power of all, greater than the power to kill, and it is a power he tries to dismiss as he has none of it. I cannot stop you turning to darker pursuits when you become adults - I can merely ask you now to remember my warnings."  
  
Many people latched onto the fact that we should be as normal as possible, but it was difficult sometimes, when the post became something to dread, and at least once a fortnight somebody would suffer, either through parent, home or more abstract friend or relation. The Slytherins were cheerful, which sickened me. All I could hope for was that one day, I would be able to act for the 'good side', and in the meantime, continue with daily life.  
  
A/N: An added reason to REVIEW! Here is a vote. At the moment I have written most of this story, and so far I have years 6 and 7 written in Lily's POV. However, many people seem to like James' narrative... there IS a reason why I have switched, namely that the rating will probs be going up and I am a girl and yeah... my imagination only stretches so far... lol. Oh, and for anybody who doesn't want the rating to go up - I will have two versions of that chapter, one R rated and one PG-13 and it will be very clear which is which! ok.. i am going now... vote and thus REVIEW! byeeee 


	13. Chapter 13 is that unlucky?

Default B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! As Lourdaise is currently flying to Dublin, she entrusted me with the task of uploading this chapter. Foolish, foolish... *rubs hands together in gleeful plotting mode* ...actually, I realise that our delightful reviewers would probably lynch me if I ambushed the chapter. So, here it is (with many thanks to lita and aurora_borealis):  
  
Chapter 13 (is that unlucky?)  
  
One evening in late April, when I was testing Peter in preparation for the end of years, although they were still weeks away, he suddenly sat up purposefully and said, "James?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Where's Remus?"  
  
"Remus?" It was full moon, and Moony had vanished as usual after dinner. I no longer really took note of his disappearances - they were just a part of life that made little difference to me. I occasionally remembered my wish to help him, but slowly that had trickled away as it seemed less and less likely that a solution would be found. It had never occurred to me that Peter might wonder where Remus went - in fact, it had neither occurred to me that he would even notice, nor that he would not have been told. Now I was stuck as to what to do. Presumably the fact that Peter did not know meant that Remus did not want him to, but why? Peter was as much a part of our group as any of us, by now, and although he wasn't as popular as the rest of us, his grades had improved and he had blossomed since joining us. He was just as keen on pranks as Sirius, Remus and I, and he was more happy to torture Snape than Remus was. Well, at least he was happy to watch. It was Sirius and I that had enough power and skill to do the hexing and jinxing - but it was good fun to have a supporter. "I hadn't noticed he was gone," I said at last.  
  
"But he disappears so often."  
  
"Yes, I suppose he does. I don't really think about it," I said, half- truthfully.  
  
"Hmm."  
  
I questioned him next time I saw him alone. "Moony, why haven't you told Peter about... well, your being Moony?"  
  
Remus glanced around us warily and shrugged. "I just... I don't know. I thought it was best if as few people knew as possible. I didn't think he'd notice anything."  
  
"He is one of our group."  
  
"Yes... yes, I know. But -"  
  
"Do you mind if I tell him?"  
  
Remus frowned. "If he must know, then I'll tell him myself."  
  
"OK. Then tell him. He'll find out somehow."  
  
"Do you really think so?"  
  
I sniggered, but then stopped. "He might."  
  
"All right, then. But what if he tells everyone?"  
  
"He won't. Look, I tell you what, I'll be on hand with a memory charm, if he takes it badly. Then nothing need matter."  
  
Remus smiled. "You never give up, do you, James?"  
  
We decided to wait until after the next Quidditch match, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, which we won. It seemed that we could win the Cup again, if we only beat Hufflepuff. And that wouldn't be hard, no matter what Geoff said. I knew he was desperate to win the Cup this year, as it was his last year as Gryffindor seeker, and that he didn't want to tempt fate by being blasé. Still, the rest of us were quietly confident, despite his tension at our high spirits.  
  
"Do I really have to tell him?" Remus whined as I accompanied him to the same empty classroom where he had told Sirius and I that he was a werewolf.  
  
"Yes, if you truly want to call him a friend. He should already be here, I'll wait outside. Remember, the signal is - ?"  
  
"'You're a rat'," Remus repeated. "OK. And you're sure you can do a short, but long enough, memory charm?"  
  
"Yes! Look, how many times have I practised on poor Sirius?"  
  
"I don't remember. There were those few that misfired."  
  
I chuckled. "They didn't misfire. I was just giving Si a break. Relax, Rem. It'll be fine."  
  
Sure enough, there were no shouts of 'You're a rat!' and no Peters hurling themselves out of the classroom, ready to tell the world. Fifteen minutes passed before Remus emerged with a slightly pale-faced Peter.  
  
"And you mustn't tell anyone, remember."  
  
Peter nodded. "I know. Hey, James, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I was told you'd been seen coming in here," I said, as planned. "What's up?"  
  
Remus pulled a face. "I've been telling Peter," he parroted. "About... you know."  
  
I acted amazed. "Well done, Rem. You don't mind, do you, Pete?"  
  
"No, of course not," he said, straightening up further and clearly resolving not to care. "Why should I?"  
  
"Precisely."  
  
He fidgeted slightly. "Remus... what's it like?"  
  
"And let's go back in the classroom," I said loudly. There were voices coming nearer and I wasn't going to risk anything, for Remus' sake.  
  
We retreated and Peter repeated his question. It was one I had often considered asking Moony myself, but had never really liked to. It seemed a little... callous. But I was intrigued to hear the answer.  
  
Remus considered. "Painful," he said. "Scary. It's like... it's like I know what I'm doing half the time, but I'm incapable to stop it. I have the reflexes, instincts and largely thoughts of an animal, a dangerous one, but I still have flashes of human sense, and that's the most horrible bit. And lonely. Shut up in the Shrieking Shack, with no company... it really shoots home. All I want to do is bite, and maybe... kill... and all I can do is scratch myself, the furniture... and howl. No wonder people think that ruddy hut is haunted. The frustration of being trapped is just like human loneliness. It really gets to you."  
  
"But couldn't one of us come and keep you company?" I nearly choked at the stupidity of Peter's question. Moony's eyes widened in terror.  
  
"Don't you dare!" he said savagely.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"I'd kill myself if I killed anyone. Particularly one of my friends."  
  
"But you wouldn't, if it was one of us. Would you?"  
  
"Peter, you clearly don't understand. I might sometimes have flashes of humanity, but my actions are that of an animal. An animal that lives to kill. No human can control a werewolf."  
  
"Can't anything?"  
  
"Only an animal."  
  
"We could become animals," Peter said excitedly.  
  
"How?" I said impatiently.  
  
"There's Polyjuice Potion. I heard Sirius saying we could try that to play a prank on Snape."  
  
"You can't change into an animal using that. It's dangerous - only half transformations, and often permanent. No go, I'm afraid."  
  
We were each waiting for the other to speak  
  
"Sorry, Remus..." Peter said at last.  
  
"Sorry for what?"  
  
"Sorry for... for you."  
  
We were all silent.  
  
The conversation had re-awakened my desire to find a way to help Remus. I sat in the common room, my arm draped casually around a second year called Sophie Cackle's shoulder, glancing through the index of my Defence against the Dark Arts text book. There was nothing in there about werewolves, nor in the Transfiguration, Charms or Care of Magical Creatures books. I had found a potion to make transformations less painful, but apparently Madam Pomfrey had tried that and it hadn't helped Remus.  
  
"Although I suspect it didn't work because she added honey to it when she smelt it," he said, ironically.  
  
Sirius and I, who had perked up when we heard that it had been attempted, flopped back down to the books. I was only thankful that Sophie wasn't the least interested in what I was reading - she was too busy preening as people watched us sitting together.  
  
To my surprise, and Sirius' too, I think, it was Professor McGonagall herself who gave us the answer. "Today," she said, a couple of weeks later, "we are going to learn something new. It will not feature in the exam, and it is not something you would ordinarily learn at this age, but I have decided we will go into in a light-hearted way, because it is a subject that most enjoy and you have worked hard. We are going to take a quick look at Animagi."  
  
Animagi... now where had I seen, or heard, of that before? As Professor McGonagall turned into a tabby cat with a small pop, I dropped my pen in excitement. This was it! This was what we needed!  
  
Sirius, next to me, shot up in his seat. "James!" he muttered.  
  
I nodded vigorously. Remus, too, had leaned forward slightly. Peter, of course, had not considered the relevance of this.  
  
It was the first lesson that we had visibly been interested in, I think, since starting school. Professor McGonagall was clearly pleased. "Why, this was a good idea," she said dryly. "Even Potter and Black seem to be listening for once. Amazing!"  
  
We tried not to look too concerned, in order for nothing to seem suspicious, but still, I was scribbling notes in my as yet unused rough book. Beside me, Sirius was doing the same.  
  
There were several problems. To start with, you had to register with the Ministry of Magic - and how likely were they to accept three fourteen year olds' applications? It was one of the most complex spells there were in the wizarding world, and that was saying something. It was highly dangerous, too... but surely we could do it?  
  
"So what did you get down?" I asked Sirius quietly at lunch.  
  
He showed me his sheet of parchment, and I handed him mine. We had a few different details, but otherwise there was not much variance. "So what do you reckon?" he said.  
  
"I think it'd be brilliant. Imagine, being able to change into an animal at will! Quite apart from being able to keep Moony company..."  
  
"I wonder what we'd be," Sirius mused dreamily.  
  
I nodded. "Snape'd be a snake."  
  
"No - an ant."  
  
I sniggered. "But you and me... I dunno."  
  
"A lion?"  
  
"I hope not, that'd attract way too much attention!"  
  
"How about a hawk, or something, then?"  
  
I pulled a face. "Boring. I'd hate to be a bird. Or a fish. How about a cat?"  
  
"Too feminine. I'd not mind being a big cat, but being a little kitty cat... urgh."  
  
Remus leaned over. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"What animal we'd like to be."  
  
His eyes narrowed. "You're not still considering that, are you?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Look, you'll never get permission to register."  
  
"So? We've broken rules before," Sirius said.  
  
"You mean you'd do it - unregistered?"  
  
"Yeah. Why not?"  
  
"Because - because - it's dangerous! It's - for God's sake, it's illegal! You could be put in Azkaban! At the very least expelled."  
  
Peter leaned in now. "What's going on?"  
  
"They want to be Animagi!"  
  
Peter looked hurt. "I guess I'm not good enough."  
  
"No, no," I said quickly. "You too. All three of us. It'd be perfect. We could keep Remus company and it'd be seriously cool."  
  
Moony glared at me. "No, it would not be. I'd rather things stayed as they are than have you lot risk your lives for me."  
  
"Nobody's going to risk their life," Sirius said impatiently. "Look, we'll do some research, and if it's really that dangerous then we won't do it. Of course there are... complications... but James, you and I are the best wizards in the year - perhaps in the school."  
  
"Not me. You and James, maybe. I'm only good at Defence against the Dark Arts."  
  
"You're good at most things. Maybe you only excel at Defence, but all the same, you'll be able to help us. Look, James is amazing at Transfiguration - even McGonagall says so, and she wouldn't if it wasn't true. We'll have no problems."  
  
Remus sighed. "It's still illegal. If you're found out..."  
  
"You of all people should know that it's hard to be found out, Remus. And Sirius and I can be careful."  
  
"Well..."  
  
"And it would be great for you."  
  
"Yes. Yes, it would, but..."  
  
"Well then. We can research it, especially over the summer, and then decide if we want to go ahead with it in autumn. Come on, Moony. We won't do it without your approval."  
  
"Oh, very well. You're clearly desperate. But just remember, I'm not counting on this. If it looks too difficult or dangerous, just forget it."  
  
"Yes, Remus," Sirius said, mock solemnly.  
  
"Shove off," Rem laughed, good humour restored. Only Peter now looked anxious.  
  
"What's wrong, Pete?"  
  
"Nothing," he said quickly. "I just... well, if it's so difficult... I'm just worried I won't be able to do it."  
  
"We'll help you," I promised. "And if you can't, then it won't be so bad. It is rare to be able to. Just think how you'll feel if you do manage it!"  
  
He began to smile. "Yeah..."  
  
"Exactly. And we won't get caught," I said confidently. "Just think, we'll be able to do what we like when nobody can tell who we are."  
  
"If," Remus amended. "Not when."  
  
"When," I corrected back. "When."  
  
B/N: So now you can feel free to review. Go on . That lovely blue/purple button is calling to you. You know you want to... Surrender to the urge. Indulge yourself. REVIEW!!! 


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Je suis retournée! Lol. I had a great time in Dublin, thanx for asking... :P... I am terribly sorry for leaving u at the mercy of Eihwaz... Child-of-Scorpio, thanx for offering to lynch Eihwaz... and poor u. I had 'false teeth' a couple of years ago... ouch... try tomato soup unless the braces are clear, in which case DON'T! :-S Opal Flames - hooray a new reviewer! Yes I might return to James' POV in the sequel, if I have a sequel... but that is a long way off. lita - well, I too think i shud skip but on the other hand i hav already written a lot... 4th year will go quickly enuf... actually, if u mean animagus potion... then... well keep reading! Wind Whisperer - thanx! tongalo - if u can read this, then if u want, leave me/send me ur email address and i will send u chap 5. i dont think u missed anything TOO crucial to be honest lol!  
  
Chapter 14  
  
We tried to put it out of our minds during the exams. If nothing else, we didn't want to distract Peter, who was still struggling, despite our best efforts. As the middle of June arrived, heralding the end of the exams, however, Sirius and I made our way to the library. It was not a place we had been often.  
  
"Hello," I said to Madam Shreve. "I was wondering where the books on Transfiguration are."  
  
She pointed to a corner nearby. "Over there."  
  
We walked over and began flipping through. Only a few even mentioned Animagi, however, and in no more detail than Professor McGonagall had told us.  
  
"Can I help you at all?" Madam Shreve said from behind us. "You seem to be having difficulties. Is there any one thing you're interested in?"  
  
"Well, yes, actually. We were sort of interested in Animagi," I said.  
  
"Animagi?" she repeated, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"Yes. Professor McGonagall just did a lesson on them and we were interested."  
  
"Oh, I see. Well, I'm afraid there's only one book dedicated to Animagi, and it's in the Restricted Section. You'll need a signed permission slip to take it out."  
  
"What's it called?" I ventured.  
  
"'Becoming an Animagus'," she said disapprovingly. "I don't expect it would be much use to you, though - too much about the actual potions and spells needed, not much about the actual subject of Animagi."  
  
I concealed my excitement. "Right. Oh well. I'll ask Professor McGonagall if she's read it."  
  
As Sirius and I left the library, he turned to me. "Are you sure it was safe to tell her what we were looking for?"  
  
"Well, we needed to know the title of that damned book, didn't we?"  
  
"Yes... although I don't see how it helps. We'll never get permission from any teacher for that. They'd have to be completely stupid not to suspect."  
  
"I know. We could come in the Cloak and nick it..."  
  
"That would be too suspicious. That librarian woman would guess it was us. And we're not unrecognisable. She may not know our names, but two black- haired boys, one quite tall, one quite short - no teacher would not guess who it was that had stolen a book from the library."  
  
I smiled, despite my annoyance at his reference to my height. "OK, then, I'll buy it at Flourish and Blotts over the summer. Along with any other useful looking books - there must be loads."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. But we could do with knowing what to buy, as well. No doubt some of the ingredients for this potion she was talking about won't be in the student store cupboard."  
  
"Patience, Sirius," I admonished. "Even if it's not very soon, we'll get this done someday, somehow. There's mail order, there's holidays, there's Hogsmeade... I'm quite sure we'll manage it by some way or another."  
  
I couldn't help noticing that Remus actually looked quite disappointed when we returned from the library, not much better off than before.  
  
"I thought you didn't want us to do this?" I asked.  
  
"I don't, really," he said. "But you made it sound possible, so I suppose I just... got my hopes up a bit. Ignore me. I'm just being silly."  
  
"We have a reference, at least," Sirius consoled.  
  
"Yes... yes, I know. I'm just being silly," he repeated. "Of course, it'd be for the best if you never found out how to do it. Then there'd be no risk of anyone getting hurt."  
  
But we knew he didn't mean it, any more.  
  
I, at least, determined to put the Animagi issue out of my mind until there was anything further we could do. It was nearing the end of July, a time of the last Quidditch match, between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, results from exams, lounging by the river and sun-bathing, and eventually the last feast, results of the Inter-House cup and returning home. The Quidditch match was particularly important to me, as I had received a massive blow to my pride in relation to the sport. The manager of the Junior England team had written to me, telling me that he was replacing me - apparently, I did not have enough dedication to the team. It was true, I supposed, that I only went to one in four of the training sessions... but it wasn't really my fault that I had better ways to spend my weekends and holidays, was it? Well, it was... and I knew it. I tried to keep quiet for a while, although I flinched when people mentioned the sport. Eventually Sirius commented on it.  
  
"Hey, J, you haven't been training for a while."  
  
I swallowed. "No, well, they, er... I resigned!"  
  
"Really?" He looked surprised.  
  
"Yeah, well, it didn't really fit in my schedule, and, er, well we never have matches... the people on the Gryffindor team are better, I sometimes think!" I felt bad about lying, especially as Remus scrutinised me.  
  
"Of course, it's just so beneath you, isn't it James?"  
  
I had the grace to redden slightly, but he never gave me away. To most people, James Potter had rejected the England team... and it just gave me more credos.  
  
The last Quidditch match was not nearly as exciting as last year's decider, largely because we already knew, this time, that Gryffindor had won. The other matches between Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had been such that the only thing riding on the last match was whether Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw would come last. Geoff was still advising caution, though, and my desperation to win was hard to conceal.  
  
"I'd really like to win my last school Quidditch match, even if we do know that we've got the Cup," he said. "You'll all understand when it's your last one, especially if you're captain. So please, don't be reckless, or cocky, or whatever you want to call it. Win this one for me, OK? Please."  
  
It was a short but surprisingly moving speech, and it united us all in one common aim - to win for Geoff, if nothing else. As soon as we took off, we worked together better than anyone, and won with ease, although it was not unsatisfactory. It was challenging - but we were on top form. When Geoff got the Snitch, and we did a triumphant flying display, no-one was surprised; but we had done as he had asked. We had played well, not carelessly, and the outcome was deserved. Later, I heard spectators commenting that our playing had been good because we were relaxed, and knew we'd won the Cup already, but only the Gryffindor team knew that it was entirely down to our Captain. We cheered for an hour, it seemed - and in particular, I felt euphoric.  
  
When we finally entered the common room, there was a goodbye party being held for Geoff as Quidditch captain, arranged by the reserves who had got back in time. I couldn't find Sirius, Peter or Remus anywhere, though. Remus must have gone for dinner early, as it was full moon tonight, but Peter and Sirius?  
  
At last I saw Peter collapse awkwardly through the portrait hole, closely followed by Sirius.  
  
"Where have you been?" I demanded over the music.  
  
"Talking to Snivellus," Sirius grinned smoothly.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes, he was in a right foul mood after the match. Before as well, in fact. He was muttering a load of stuff about being hit by the Whomping Willow earlier, and asking why it had been put there in the first place."  
  
I grinned. "Nosy git. If only he knew."  
  
"He does, now!" Peter said excitedly. I felt my face drain.  
  
"Peter, how could you?"  
  
"It wasn't me, it was Si! He told him how to stop the branches - then he'd find out."  
  
This was something Remus had told us on the condition that we wouldn't try it. I put two and two together just as Peter finished.  
  
"He said that tonight would be a good time to try it."  
  
Sirius had tried to hold me back as I ran for the portrait hole, the Invisibility Cloak under my arm. "James, stop, you'll risk your life!"  
  
"Yes, well, if you hadn't been so stupid as to put somebody else's life at risk then I wouldn't have to, would I? Let me go!"  
  
"But James, we hate Snivellus!"  
  
"We hate him enough to hex him and taunt him, yes. But I never want to be responsible for killing someone - and I don't want you or Moony to be, either. Remus will kill himself if I don't stop him getting Snape. Besides, do you want Snape to see Remus? And have you considered this - when the branches stop moving, not only can he get in but Remus can get out! So let me go!"  
  
My Quidditch training hadn't been for nothing. Sirius was strong, but even he couldn't keep his grip when I flung myself forward and rolled through the portrait hole. By the time he'd realised he'd lost me, I was all the way down the corridor, running as fast as I could - which was fast.  
  
I pulled the cloak over me as I ran, praying that I would be in time. I flew out of a side door near the Willow just in time to see a lone figure dodging the tree's flailing branches, and poke a long branch at the knot on the side of the trunk. Horror-struck, I saw the branches freeze and Snape laid the branch down on the ground, clearly - even from this distance - surprised that it had worked. I was near him now.  
  
"Stop!"  
  
He looked round, but he couldn't see me, still invisible.  
  
"Stop!"  
  
It was - I was - too late. As I watched, he ducked under the branches and disappeared - but I was just a few seconds behind. I dived under the branches that were beginning to move again, pressed the knot a second time, and heard an ominous growl and Snape's yell. I plunged after him, grabbed his foot and began pulling him back as fast as I humanly could. I saw a flash of grey, matted fur and teeth, well, fangs really. This was hopeless. I leaned to the side and bodily hurled Snape out of the tree. Then I threw myself after him. I heard Remus - was it still Remus? I didn't know - give a hoarse roar and pursue me, but I rolled out of harm's way just as the tree began to shake again. My heart was hammering like it had never before - if I was older, I might have feared a cardiac arrest.  
  
"Snape?" I gasped. Surely, after all that, I had saved him.  
  
A/N: REEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! now. please. 


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Soz this is a day late, i completely forgot last night! Eihwaz is ill and she needs to Beta the next chap so it may be a bit late, sorry if so. Thanx to madame-knight for her review of chap 13, and also to aurora- borealis, tongalo and wind whisperer. btw, wind whisperer, for some reason fanfiction sent me FORTY EIGHT copies of ur review. it was nice the first time... but by about the thirty first, i WAS getting bored... lol... ok, REVIEW evryone! i know ur out there! Lourdaise.  
  
Chapter 15  
  
There was a pause. "Potter."  
  
I took off the invisibility cloak. "Yes."  
  
He stared at me. "So, trying to kill me now, are you? But Potter chickened out at the last minute, I see. Didn't want a death on his conscience. I see it all now - your friend Loopy Lupin, I suppose, down there? Or Moony, as you call him. Did he know he was going to get a human meal tonight? Or was it just between you and Black?"  
  
I was speechless. I had just saved this git's life, at the risk of the expense of my own, and this was his gratitude.  
  
"Oh, I'm very grateful, Potty," he said sarcastically, reading my expression. "Ever so, ever so grateful. But right now I think we'll go and see Professor Dumbledore."  
  
My voice returned. "Yes, I think we will, Snivellus."  
  
It was the only time we ever agreed on anything.  
  
Professor Dumbledore was, needless to say, surprised when two very angry students arrived outside his office at ten o' clock on a June night, but none the less he sat us down in front of his desk and prepared to listen.  
  
"Potter tried to kill me!" Snape exploded before I could say a word.  
  
Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up. "James, surely this isn't true?"  
  
"On the contrary," I snapped, "I just saved his life!"  
  
Snape glared at me. "You just got cold feet about a prank."  
  
"It wasn't my prank to get cold feet about! I intervened to save your greasy, ungrateful neck!"  
  
"You truly expect me to believe that you had no part in it? Come, Potter, I know you and Black are in everything together," he snarled. "Or is Black, in fact, innocent of anything as well?"  
  
Dumbledore raised a hand. "Gentlemen, I'm sure we can sort this out far more effectively if we do it in an orderly fashion. I would like you both to give me an account of the evening - and by that I mean a truthful account, which does not leave out details in order to either incriminate or absolve other parties." He chuckled to himself. "James, would you start, please?"  
  
I took a deep breath. "I came back from the Quidditch at about eight o' clock, with the rest of the team rather than my normal group. There was a party in the common room, but I noticed that neither Sirius, Remus nor Peter were there. I guessed where Remus was, but Sirius and Peter didn't arrive back until shortly after nine o' clock. I asked where they'd been and Peter informed me that they had been talking to him." I jabbed my thumb in Snape's direction. "Sirius had apparently recommended that Snape go and try freezing the Whomping Willow by pressing the knot with a long branch tonight. Remus was transformed tonight."  
  
Dumbledore looked suddenly grave. "So you know about Remus Lupin, Severus?"  
  
"Yes, sir. I do," Snape said smugly.  
  
"I take it you understand the need for silence?"  
  
"Not really, no sir. I think we students have a right to know. He shouldn't come here if he's dangerous."  
  
"He was only dangerous because you were out of bounds. I'm afraid I am headmaster here, not you, and so he shall stay if I say so. If, on the other hand, the secret gets out through you, and he is forced to leave, you will go with him. Understood? Please proceed, James."  
  
I paused to collect my thoughts, and continued. "I realised that if he did do as Sirius had suggested, he would inevitably not survive. I do not think Sirius meant to send him to his sure death, but all the same I realised what a terrible thing he had done, and I ran to try and prevent it. I was not in time to stop him entering the Willow, thus seeing Remus, but I was able to pull him back to safety just before Remus got to him. Luckily the Willow started, er, whomping, again before Remus could get out."  
  
Dumbledore nodded slowly. "And then you came here. Very good. Severus, is this fair so far?"  
  
Snape nodded reluctantly.  
  
"Good. And now would you tell me your version of events, please."  
  
"Yes sir. This morning, I had a small encounter with the Whomping Willow, which gave me these cuts." He gestured to his face. "And so, at the Quidditch, Black was inquiring as to how I had been injured. His words, as I recall, were 'I don't remember doing that to you, Snape - who else should I be recruiting to my gang for pure brilliance in attacking you?'"  
  
Dumbledore glanced at me but I was staring straight ahead, my face impassive.  
  
"Continue, Severus."  
  
"I informed him that it had, in fact, been the Whomping Willow that had attacked me, not another student. I then turned my back on him, assuming our exchange was complete. I was consulting with Marcius Malfoy about the purpose of the Whomping Willow, as many of my house consider it a waste of space and a dangerous addition to the school grounds. We had come to the conclusion that it must conceal something. When Black heard us speculating about this, he leaned forward and whispered to me that I could find out, if I used a long branch to press a knot on the trunk which would freeze the branches. He recommended tonight, as the full moon would give me the best light to see by. I, of course, suspected nothing at that moment of Remus Lupin. I was, fairly naturally, curious, but all the same, when I arrived at the Willow this evening, I was surprised to find that Black had told me the true way to stop the branches. I had expected him to have been lying."  
  
"Why?" interrupted Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"Because he - and Potter - are of that sort of depraved nature," Snape said, sneering at me.  
  
"I see. What happened next?"  
  
"I was about to go through when I heard a voice yell 'stop' twice. I couldn't see anyone, however, so I assumed I had imagined it and pressed on. About halfway down the passage, I heard a roar and a fully grown werewolf came into sight. I yelled, expecting death to come fairly shortly, when a hand closed round my ankle and began pulling me back slowly. Then, as the wolf continued to approach, I felt myself thrown out of the tree, and there was the muffled thud of someone following. As Potter said, the tree began moving again just in time. Then I heard Potter's voice, saying my name, and he appeared by the branches."  
  
Dumbledore pressed the tips of his fingers together and rested his chin on them as Snape reached the end of his narrative. "Right," he said calmly. "It seems the main point in question is whether James was part of the plan to try and... assassinate you, or whether he merely heard about it and decided to step in. Either way, it seems he saved your life at great personal risk - James, you will be awarded forty house points for bravery. Severus... you were out of bounds, but at the same time I understand that you were lured there by Sirius Black and I do understand that you were curious. However, many rules are rules to protect you, and I implore you to pay more attention to them in future. I will take ten points from Slytherin. From Sirius Black I will take forty points - sorry, James - for divulging a very important secret and betraying my trust, as well as endangering a fellow student. I will also take ten points from Peter Pettigrew for not intervening. So in total, that is ten points from Slytherin, ten points from Gryffindor, and one detention each for you, Severus, and Peter Pettigrew, and a month's worth of detentions for Sirius Black. I am convinced that James did not play a part in the prank, as it seems a spur of the moment action and he was playing Quidditch. Does all of that seem fair to you?"  
  
I nodded. Snape, in the end, shrugged and inclined his head, but it was clear he wasn't happy.  
  
"So what happens about Remus?" I asked.  
  
Dumbledore glanced at me. "I will tell him myself tomorrow morning what happened. I do not want it mentioned to anyone else. And you understood, Severus, that Remus' condition is a secret that shall never be divulged?"  
  
Snape nodded.  
  
"And I shall know if it gets out. Right, well, that seems to be all. You both look as though you need some sleep. James, I will talk to Sirius in the morning as well."  
  
I nodded, and began to stand. Snape followed suit.  
  
"Goodnight, Professor."  
  
When we were outside, Snape turned to me. "You realise, he'll be on my side one day."  
  
"Dumbledore?"  
  
"No - Lupin. He's a dark creature, Potter - better watch your back." He walked off, laughing.  
  
All four of us were quiet the next morning. Remus expressed his gratitude to me, but he was clearly very shaken and exceedingly upset - he refused to stay around Peter and Sirius, saying that they had betrayed his trust. I too was disillusioned. Sirius was clearly ashamed, but all the same, relations in the group were hostile for a couple of days.  
  
We finally decided to move on just before the end of year feast. I had been waiting for Remus' cue that he was ready to forgive and forget - the last thing I wanted was to make it look as though it was me, Sirius and Peter against him. The olive branch came in the form of a game of wizard chess, and Sirius and Peter took it gratefully.  
  
"Lucky, really," I commented on the train going home. "Just think, we'd be in for an absolutely atrocious summer if we were still anti each other."  
  
Remus laughed, to my relief, and Sirius and Peter joined in. I had considered it a fair comment, really, seeing as we were going to be together for roughly six weeks of the summer. For the first two weeks we were staying at Remus' house, then going to Peter's villa in France, and then halfway through the holidays we were all going to my house. After two weeks, Remus, Peter and Sirius were going back to their own houses and I was going to Bulgaria with my parents. Sirius' mother had refused to have us to stay - Gryffindors were not welcome in her house, apparently. I knew it was a sore point with Sirius, but truthfully I was relieved. I had met his mother only once, on platform 9 and 3/4, and she had been anything but welcoming to me.  
  
Still, only the fear of being in the real wizarding world with Voldemort about stopped it looking to be a very enjoyable summer.  
  
A/N: REVIEW 


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: well hello, I was not late after all! we must all marvel at Eihwaz's dedication thru the face of illness! Now, fourth year is not going to last long so dont bother telling me that it is a bit pointless. i know. :D Rainbird - thanx and yes i am a girl too. Chocoliciouz - this will sound weird if i am wrong, but u r lita, rnt u? and no i dont rily know where the plot is going either. in fact plot? what plot?! Amy88 - *rashly decides to announce that Eihwaz in fact writes this and I am the beta* *then changes mind and wonders if this need to be preferred is worrying?* oh well i am glad u like it... even if i am soooo hurt *sniffs* :D Wind Whisperer - tis ok, i only got one copy! i think it was a prob wiv ff, not u! snape didnt lie bcos... bcos... i hate liars! *cough* lol KEEP REVIEWING, EVERYONE!!!  
  
Chapter 16  
  
All four of us had decided over the summer that fourth year sounded a very grand year to be in - equally, fifteen sounded a very great age, but only Sirius and I would be that old soon. My birthday was early October, his was two weeks later - we would, we decided, organise a party.  
  
However, other, less light-hearted matters also greeted us at the start of the year. I had purchased three books, including the one named by Madam Shreve, on becoming Animagi from Flourish and Blotts, and Sirius was reading one, I was reading another and Remus was perusing the third. We had immediately hit a problem.  
  
"It takes a year to make?" Sirius exclaimed only minutes after opening the first chapter. I had found the same thing. "We can't wait that long!"  
  
"Forget the waiting," I said grimly, "how are we supposed to make it at all? Even if we start now, it won't be ready until next September, and how are we supposed to look after it through the summer?" We had decided to brew the potion in the entrance to one of the secret passages we knew of, that Pringle was not aware of and neither, to our knowledge, was anyone else. That would ensure privacy, but... "I was aware that at least one of us would have to stay at school for Christmas and Easter, but it's not an option to stay here over the summer."  
  
"We'll have to take it home."  
  
"How?" I asked. "I think just a few people might notice us lugging a great huge bubbling cauldron onto platform 9 and 3/4."  
  
"The invisibility cloak."  
  
"That doesn't disguise noise, or smells. And it's too risky - what if we dropped it? Or the cloak slipped? Or, for that matter, a teacher realised? OK, a muggle might not recognise the sound of a potion being brewed but Professor Sherwin certainly would. And he'd love to get us expelled."  
  
Sirius and I stared at each other hopelessly.  
  
"Wait," Remus said suddenly. "It's not a problem at all."  
  
"Er, Moony," Sirius said, "yes it is."  
  
"No it's not. It says here that for the last three months it should just be left to simmer, no stirring, no adding ingredients, nothing. What better than leaving it in a completely deserted passage from June onwards?"  
  
I began to laugh. "Excellent! Anyone would think we were destined to become illegal Animagi!"  
  
"Ssh! Keep your voice down!" Moony implored. But Sirius was grinning too. This was just too brilliant.  
  
Undoubtedly, it was a very, very complex thing to do. Besides the potion to be brewed, we had to train our minds for the Transformation itself, which involved emptying one's mind of human thought, and muttering an incantation while concentrating hard. That was just Transfiguration - I was confident about that bit. It also included several charms, both on oneself and on the potion, but Sirius and I were confident about that. The hardest part was the potion itself, but Remus was fairly good at potion brewing, and Sirius and I were capable of starting it. It began just like a first year potion, throwing a few ingredients together and leaving it, then gradually over the weeks adding more. It was only after the first two months that it began to get more complicated.  
  
"So," I said after dinner on the first Friday back, "shall we start it tonight?"  
  
We had purchased an extra large cauldron, and other equipment, in Diagon Alley. Sirius and I had taken the first ingredients needed from the student store cupboard.  
  
"Tonight?" said Peter, looking nervous.  
  
"Well, you don't have to come," I said. "I thought it was quite exciting, myself."  
  
"Yes, yes, I'll come," he said quickly. "It's just a bit... well, what if we get caught?"  
  
"Oh, come on. How many times have you been under the Cloak? And you know the plan. Sirius and I will take the cauldron and ingredients, then Sirius will go back with the Cloak to get you and Remus. That way everything will fit. When we're down in the passage, Moony will conjure the fire and we'll start the potion. When we've done that, we'll leave one book with it, and a safeguard round the fire. We'll go back all at once, seriously squashed I've no doubt, but safely concealed under the Cloak. Nobody will go down the passage and no-one will find it!"  
  
Peter nodded slowly. "OK then."  
  
So, at midnight, Sirius shook me awake as planned. I groaned, then remembered, and grabbed the Cloak from under my bed. "Got the stuff?"  
  
"Yes," he whispered. "Come on before the others wake up."  
  
We pulled the cloak over us and, each holding one side of the cauldron, tiptoed out of Gryffindor tower.  
  
We were lucky in not meeting anybody, not even Pringle, on our way to the passageway concealed behind a mirror on the third floor. "Orgnog," I muttered in troll. The reflective cover began to shimmer and we stepped through. There was a sucking noise as it closed again. I shrugged off the cloak and waved my wand. "Lumos!"  
  
Sirius and I grinned at each other in the half light as we put the cauldron down. "I'll go get Moony and Peter," he said.  
  
"Yeah." I settled down to wait, and began looking at the Transfiguration section of the book.  
  
'Many wizards / witches find it helpful to close their eyes for the brain- training. Empty the mind of all human-related thoughts and concentrate on an animal-associated image, such as claws, teeth or even prey. Imagine that you are either a predator or prey. Note - this choice will not affect the animal you will become. That is pre-destined.'  
  
I shivered. Pre-destined... I wondered what I would be. According to all three books, it would reflect your character - not the character most people saw, but the character of your soul. I found that confusing, but also slightly worrying. How well did I know my true self? What if I became a... a slug, or something stupid like that? Ridiculous, surely - I was a Gryffindor! I was brave, I was fast, I was proud... not an insect, or some other lowly creature.  
  
I was just considering having a go at this brain-training lesson, when the mirror shivered and a second later, three figures appeared, apparently from mid-air. The Cloak slithered onto the floor.  
  
"Hi James. Everything OK?"  
  
I grinned and nodded. "You were quick."  
  
"Had to run. Saw Pringle roaming kind of near here, and we didn't want to be held up by not being able to get in because he was standing by."  
  
I laughed. "Right... Moony, the fire, if you please, first?"  
  
He stepped forward and muttered a charm. Sticks poured out of his wand into a neat pile on the floor, followed by a stream of blue flame. In seconds, a fire was roaring. "Mutus," Remus added, and the roar died to a soft grumble. "Is that all right?"  
  
I levitated the cauldron so that it was floating steadily above the flames. "Perfect. What next, Peter?"  
  
"Now you add five scoops of beetle eyes."  
  
Sirius measured it out and poured them into the cauldron. There was a soft fizz as they melted, and we glanced at each other ecstatically.  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Next you put in the two leeches."  
  
"Urgh," Sirius said, shuddering as he chucked them in. "And the lacewing flies, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes. And now just fluxweed. Then you stir it twenty times clockwise, once anticlockwise and twice back and forth."  
  
The stirring was my job, sadly, but at last it was done. We struggled back to Gryffindor tower, determined to all stay covered by the cloak.  
  
"So back again on Wednesday, with... what?"  
  
"Knotgrass. And more beetle eyes."  
  
"Right. You and Remus needn't come for that. I'm sure Si and I can manage, and it is a squash with four under the cloak!"  
  
And so it went on. By the end of September, it was giving off quite a foul stench, but to our relief, the mirror completely cut off both sound and smell. Nobody would guess that there was a potion brewing in there.  
  
"So tonight we have to add animal essence. Where do we get that from?" Sirius said to me on the last Monday of the month.  
  
"We'll have to attempt a summoning charm to get in from Sherwin's cupboard. He always goes to tidy up before lunch, I'll hover outside, wait til he bends over and summon it. He might not notice..."  
  
"And then run for it," Sirius advised. "Seriously fast."  
  
Sure enough, Professor Sherwin arrived at his private cupboard just a minute after the lunch bell. I had sprinted from Charms in order to get there before him - our Plan B was to unlock the cupboard ourselves, later, but that was even more risky. It was best if I got it now.  
  
Sherwin went to the door and placed one hand on the handle. "Aperio," he said softly, and the door swung open. I stepped even nearer as he began shuffling things around, placing bottles in cabinets and finally kneeling down to put something in a bottom drawn.  
  
"Accio animal essence!"  
  
A small bottle flew out over his head and into my hand. I turned and ran as fast as I could down the corridor, until I was swallowed up in the crowd. Hopefully he hadn't noticed anything.  
  
"Got it," I muttered as I flopped down next to Sirius.  
  
"Excellent. We'll do that tonight then. We have to leave it for two weeks after that, don't we?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Urgh!" Sirius coughed when he un-stoppered the bottle. "This stuff is absolutely foul!"  
  
I shuddered as the smell wafted over to me as well. "Yes, it is a bit, isn't it? It says you need to hold the bottle, on its side, two inches above the surface of the potion until the potion is this colour green." I held up the book and indicated the correct shade. "It should also start bubbling."  
  
The whole process took five minutes, but the odour was ten times worse when we had finished. "Looks appetising, doesn't it?" Sirius joked as we eyed it.  
  
"I'm sure it'll look, smell and taste far worse by the time it's finished," I said bleakly.  
  
We left the now half-empty bottle of essence by Sherwin's cupboard door, and I cast a finger-print removal spell on it. I didn't suppose wizards used muggle tricks like finger print taking, but you could never be too careful.  
  
A/N: now pleeeeeeeaaaaaaasseee review or... i wont EVER update again!!! mwahahahaaaaaaa well ok, i might, but not for a loong time! so.... REVIEW!!!! 


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Hello! Just to let u know that it was my birthday this week and I am distressed bcos my party is a disaster, only six ppl are coming *sobs and cries* therefore to cheer me up, I want lots of reviews!!!!!!! there were quite a few for the last one, keep up the good work! Lots of new ones... Choc (can i call u that for short, Chocoliciouz?!) - thanx, yah i thought u were lita, oh most faithful one! hee hee the best fics hav no plot! amy88 - I was joking! But i admire ur war tactics... Megsalette - welcome to my (fairly limited) circle of reviewers and thanx! Lady Elerrina - hope i spelt that with the right number of 'r's and 'l's... Yes it is ALWAYS best to review, woteva the time! I took the girl things from OOTP, with the hair ruffling and crowd of girls... but OK, yes, it is a bit exaggerated. First Light of Eos - More Lily comes in a couple of chapters' time. See Eihwaz's bn in a minute... :S Nona - Uh... good point... *blushes*. well let's say... it is like... a WoMD... except less dangerous... they like to hav a spell, but not use it. (That reference is not meant to cause offence to anyway btw. just an analogy. :S) ok! now for Eihwaz's bn, and then on with the story at last! B/N: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!!! Hello I'm back and alive! *Lourdaise curses in the background* In response to First Light of Eos... I am not ordering you to worship him... I am manipulating your subconscious! Heh heh. In response to Amy88... I love you!!! (but not as much as Lourdaise!)  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
"So," Sirius said the next day, "two weeks with nothing to worry about and both our birthdays. What do you say we organise that party we were talking about? If we get started on organising it today, it could easily be next weekend. The best party of the year... hosted by James Potter and Sirius Black."  
  
I grinned. "Yeah..."  
  
As it was me that had stolen the animal essence, it was Sirius who took the secret passage into Hogsmeade at lunchtime, to ask if we could host a 'seventeenth' birthday party at the Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta, the young witch who owned the pub with her husband, was used to seeing us in there and we had sat at the bar and kept her laughing until we left enough times that she was more than happy to agree, Sirius reported when he returned. She didn't know that we were actually only turning fifteen, but I had a feeling she would've agreed anyway. She was a good sort, but very malleable, as Sirius would say.  
  
"Apparently, if we pay twenty five Galleons, she'll organise the whole food, drinks, music thing. It's cheap because it's good for her business as well. We just need to sort invitations and stuff."  
  
I nodded. "I think what we need really is advertisements, rather than invitations. One large one on each house's noticeboard - that can be arranged - and a few small ones floating around that we can bewitch to go blank if a teacher looks at them. Open to all, do you think?"  
  
"Not Slytherin."  
  
"No, of course not. We can bewitch them to go blank if a Slytherin looks at them, too."  
  
I waved my wand a few times and a suitable poster appeared on the table before me. Swirling writing proclaimed 'James Potter and Sirius Black's 'seventeenth' birthday party! All welcome except Slytherins and teachers... Come to the Three Broomsticks at nine o' clock on Saturday 5th October. Food, drinks and music provided.'  
  
Sirius grinned, gave a flick of his wand and the pile of posters levitated off the ground. One separated to pin itself on the notice board - the rest floated out of the portrait hole.  
  
"Brilliant," I said.  
  
The following Saturday was a Hogsmeade weekend, so it wouldn't look suspicious when many people were absent from the Great Hall at dinner. At nine o' clock, Sirius, Remus, Peter and I were sitting inside the Three Broomsticks, watching as more and more people came in, greeted us, ordered drinks and either sat down or milled around. A banner on the wall with flashing letters, proclaimed 'James and Sirius' seventeenth birthday party' - I had gone over after a while and added large apostrophes round the seventeenth, to a round of laughter. Madam Rosmerta gave me a shrewd look, but just collapsed into giggles when I pulled my innocent face.  
  
It was quite a party. Most of my year, except the Slytherins, was there, and most of Gryffindor from first year through to seventh year was there, as well as many others. The music, in my opinion, was better than that at last year's Yule Ball, and Madam Rosmerta's large draughts of Butterbeer were roundly appreciated. Most people approached either Sirius or me to tell us what a great party it was, which we laughed off, though it was true.  
  
At eleven thirty, however, it came to a rather abrupt end. The music died down and everyone stopped talking. Sensing a mishap, I swung towards the door. Professor McGonagall was standing, glaring in.  
  
"So," she said, "Potter and Black's 'seventeenth' birthday party, hmm?"  
  
"I - we - um," I said helplessly.  
  
"This is clear abuse of the privilege of being allowed to visit Hogsmeade. I am, frankly, very disappointed. I went to the Gryffindor tower quite coincidentally in the hope of wishing you luck for the first Quidditch match of the season, tomorrow, and am greeted by the sight of only about ten Gryffindor students left in a common room with this on the wall." She waved the poster. "I must say, Potter, last time I looked I thought were only fifteen, and that was at a pinch - the way you behave, you could be eleven."  
  
I flinched but said nothing.  
  
"So, anyway, I would like to say that this particular party is over. And if anyone is too tired to play Quidditch tomorrow, they will be very sorry." Her mouth twitched slightly as though she might smile. "On the other hand if you win, all is forgiven. Back to Hogwarts, please, everyone."  
  
I laughed, despite my disappointment. We had planned to party long into the early hours. Still, we were not in as much trouble as we had thought... McGonagall could be a surprisingly good sport.  
  
Until Christmas, we were occupied again with the potion. This, apparently, was the most difficult period - first we had to add a whole sliced unicorn horn, then snake skin and chopped Flobberworm, to our disgust. It was also the time that the charms had to start being used every other night. What with that and another discovery of mine, I seldom spent a full night in bed.  
  
My other discovery was of Hogwarts night life. It had been discovered by pure chance when I was returning one night from charming the potion, and I had seen a Ravenclaw girl with a Hufflepuff boy from my year wandering around. For some absolutely inexplicable reason, I had had an urge to follow them, and had ended up South tower. And there were at least five couples hidden in the shadows kissing, and as I stepped to the balcony, I could see the same thing happening on North tower and West tower as well. It was after that that I began to notice couples disappearing into empty classrooms, store cupboards and just random nooks and crannies where they could get some privacy at night. I only wondered why I had not thought of it for myself. I was still progressing rapidly through girlfriend after girlfriend, and now, apparently, one of the most exciting things for a girl either in my year or younger was the anticipation of being taken up North tower by James Potter or South tower by Sirius Black. It wasn't that we had any preference for which, but we were agreed on one thing - we didn't want to be making out with girls in the same place.  
  
I was caught a couple of times between Christmas and the end of February, once by Professor McGonagall, once by the Head Girl, but it didn't bother me much. Neither did it bother me the little sleep I was getting - up a tower at least once a week and stirring a potion half the rest of the nights - we had soon found that it was impractical for Peter to lose too much sleep, and two people had to go each night. We shared it out, and it was only an hour, tops, a night that we lost. It didn't affect us - nobody would ever know that we didn't get a full ten hours each night.  
  
In February, the threat of Voldemort was brought home to me. We had managed to forget about him, as none of our close friends had been personally affected, but a message to me from Professor Dumbledore gave me a shock. 'Please do not write to your parents for the time being. They are on a mission for me, and owls would draw attention to them. Thank you, Professor Dumbledore.'  
  
Every morning I sat tensely, expecting to hear that at least one of them was dead. Sirius and Remus were equally concerned for me, but to my amazement, I received the all-clear after two weeks. It had been a dreadful time, however. I knew that my parents were working with Dumbledore against Voldemort, but never before had I been hit with such a realisation of the danger they were in. Surely they would not be killed, I had told myself before - but why not? Others had been, many others.  
  
"Just be thankful we're safe here," Remus pointed out.  
  
"Yes," I said, "but in three years' time we won't be." And despite all my willpower, I could not shake what Snape had said about Remus. He was a dark creature - he wasn't at risk. Not really.  
  
"You'll do no good by thinking about it," Peter said surprisingly helpfully. "Nothing did happen to them. Don't stress."  
  
I knew he just wanted me back to normal - 'I was no fun when I was worrying' - but all the same, he was right. Worry didn't help anything - in fact, it was just giving into Voldemort. Or You-Know-Who as he was better known now. I had never noticed, because Sirius, Remus and I had always called him Voldemort, until Peter had said 'You-Know-Who'. Then, observing, I realised that almost everybody else did too. Professor Dumbledore didn't, but he was rare.  
  
"Should we all say 'You-Know-Who' now, then?" I asked him one day when he stopped me for no apparent reason in the corridor.  
  
He shook his head firmly. "Fear of a name breeds fear of a person, James. Keep as you're doing."  
  
"I think we fear him enough," I muttered.  
  
"Not enough for him, James. There is always scope for more." Dumbledore shook himself. "But I'm being morbid. Ignore me."  
  
"Not at all, Professor," I said sadly.  
  
At the start of March, we started the brain-training. It was surprisingly hard, at first, to empty your mind of all human thought and truly concentrate on being an animal. Predictably, all four of us concentrated on being predators - it was hard to believe what the books all said when they said that this had no affect on what animal you would become.  
  
After a fortnight of that sort of brain-training before going to sleep, you had to start muttering an incantation whilst concentrating - this would eventually aid your brain in the concentration, but to begin with it made it harder. I often heard Peter mumbling frantically to himself late at night and given whines of dissatisfaction. He wanted it easy, just like everything else. I wasn't used to working this hard, perhaps, but I didn't mind it. And after a while, it came more easily to me. I could empty my brain of human thought at will, and reverse it. That, the book impressed upon one, was most important - the ability to change back. That was what made the Animagi transformation dangerous, because so many people didn't realise the importance of training themselves to turn back - they thought it was easy, beneath them. I was concerned that that might happen to Peter, so Sirius and I had long conversations in front of him about what we were doing to train ourselves in turning back. We often had the ability to tell him what to do when the book could not. I only hoped he was intelligent enough to prepare himself once he knew he had to.  
  
Whilst the preparation for becoming an Animagus had taken over part of my night life, my days were still comprised of taunting Snape, who was worse than ever after I'd saved his life, and getting together and breaking up with girls. Quidditch, too, of course.  
  
We had beaten Hufflepuff the day after our party, and Slytherin after Christmas. This year, Ravenclaw had a much stronger side - but we weren't playing them until late May. With the loss of Geoff, Arthur Weasley and Crispin, one of our beaters, we had a few new faces. Griff Lemon, our keeper, was the new captain, and in my opinion not so good. It was, in truth, my strength at working with Amanda Prewitt and the new Chaser, a second year called Robin, that kept the team winning points, and we had a reasonable Seeker. The new beater was appalling, but he was Griff's best friend. Still, they would both be leaving at the end of this year, and we still had a strong team.  
  
One morning in early April, when Sirius and I had just arrived back in the dormitory, having been up the towers, Peter came to talk to us.  
  
"James, Sirius... you know how you go up North tower..."  
  
"Well I go up South, but yes?" Sirius shot me an amused look.  
  
"And you know how you've each have thousands of girlfriends."  
  
"Yes..." We could hardly deny it.  
  
"I was wondering... if I wanted to, well, ask a girl out... is there some place you'd recommend asking her to rather than straight up one of the towers?"  
  
"Depends who it is," I laughed. "If it's one of the girls who are up for anything, and believe me we know who they are, then they'll be happiest if you do just take them up, well, you can have West tower."  
  
"But then again if it's not," Sirius said, "then I'd suggest Hogsmeade. Either the Three Broomsticks, or there's a crappy little place that all the girls love that I've forgotten the name of."  
  
I grinned. I didn't like the little tea shop either. "So who is it?" 


	18. Chapter 18

Default B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except for Light of Eos as she is proving resistant to mental manipulation. time for the neuralyzer *muahahahahahaha!!!* um, ok, maybe watching men in black was a bad idea... no, really, Light of Eos, if you think my taste in men is bad you should see my taste in women!!! (except Lourdaise who really is wonderful *ducks punch from Lourdaise*) oh yeah, apologies for the mistakes I left in the previous chapter. it won't happen again, I swear! *ducks another punch from Lourdaise* A/N: Sorry about that... honestly, these rogue internet hackers/story hijackers! Anyway, thank you to First Light of Eos, no matter what Eihwaz says, and Chocoliciouz, Wind Whisperer, Sirius Obsession (I'm 15 or, er, 79 if u believe the profile...), vietgurl0607 and CoronaCALIgurl (England, or also if u believe the profile Switzerland!) and Egypt's Star, or NB, or woteva u want to be called! And especial thanx to evry1 who kindly wished me a happy birthday :D  
  
Chapter 18  
  
"No - no -" Peter said, beginning to redden. "No-one in particular, I just wondered in general..."  
  
"Come on, tell us, Pete..." Sirius coaxed.  
  
"Or we'll hex you senseless," I added.  
  
"Look, it's honestly no-one. Maybe Annie Griffiths, or - or - Juliet Prewitt."  
  
"There's quite a difference between them, mate," I said. "One wouldn't touch a man with a bargepole and one wouldn't touch a bargepole with a man. Wait, that doesn't make sense. What I mean is, Juliet's a feminist who doesn't believe boys exist, and Annie's a complete whore."  
  
"But you went out with her!"  
  
"Indeed I did, but a) that was before she was quite as bad and b) I didn't mind at all."  
  
Sirius sniggered.  
  
"So which is it? Slapper, or..." I couldn't find a word.  
  
"Oh, all right. But don't laugh. I know she's not very pretty but she used to help me with some of my charms. It's..."  
  
My heart leapt into my throat before he even said the name. Sirius shot me another look, but it was far from amused this time.  
  
"Lily Evans," Peter muttered.  
  
What would you do? My blood was boiling at the very thought of Peter asking Evans out, not that she'd go, of course. Would she? He was Peter Pettigrew, stupid, fat little Peter Pettigrew. And she'd turned down me... She didn't like boys any more than Prewitt did, or that other girl, Brown. Rebecca Brown. Did she?  
  
I realised that it wasn't just jealousy I was feeling now. It was deep- rooted fear. Imagine if she accepted Peter when she'd flung me aside... In fact, no, it didn't even bear imagining. I knew Peter was expecting me to speak but what should I say?  
  
"Er," I forced out.  
  
"I wouldn't," Sirius said helpfully. "She's another feminist, she won't want you either. She particularly hates us, I believe she called me and James chauvinistic pigs the other day because we each had new girlfriends. No, mate, not a good move. Try someone else."  
  
"But I like her! And anyway, it's only you and James she hates, I think."  
  
"But you're our friend. Seriously, Pete, how about Annie? If it's snogging you're after, she's the best bet. Evans is probably frigid. Besides, she's too clever for you by half."  
  
Peter looked wounded. "Unlike you I'm looking for a more steady girlfriend," he said, unusually firm. "And so I'll ask out who I like. Starting with Lily Evans. Now." He stood up.  
  
At last my voice came back. "Don't you dare!"  
  
He looked back. "What?"  
  
"Sit down and stay there!" I ordered.  
  
His eyebrows raised. "Why should I?" Trust him to answer back now.  
  
I grabbed my wand. "Petrificus Totalus!"  
  
He keeled over backwards and stared up at me reproachfully. "James!"  
  
"I asked you nicely, before," I said roughly, sitting him in a chair. "Promise me you won't ask her out, and I'll take the hex off."  
  
Peter looked angry. "I don't think that's fair! You have a new girlfriend every month - just because she's one of the few girls in the school that doesn't want you to take her up North tower, or South tower, or whatever!"  
  
This was clearly going to be embarrassing. "Okay, Peter, we'll play it your way. I am asking - begging - pleading with you not to ask out Lily Evans because I have... a problem with her."  
  
"And that problem is that she won't go out with you?"  
  
"In short, yes."  
  
Peter's eyes bulged. "I was joking," he stammered.  
  
"Oh shut up," I said. "The point is, I don't really want to see her going out with anyone else, but particularly not one of my best friends."  
  
Peter looked stumped. "Sirius, do you think it's fair of James to do this?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "James is my best mate. If it makes him happy, I don't care what he does."  
  
"But you're supposed to be my friend too!"  
  
"That doesn't make any difference to me. James comes first. Sorry if that sounds harsh."  
  
"Then surely... but... aha! Remus! Remus!"  
  
Moony came wandering over. "Peter, what happened to you?" He sounded amused as he took out his wand to unhex him.  
  
"Don't!" I said. "Please. Let us explain."  
  
"With him in the full-body lock? I don't think so." He muttered the counter- hex and sat down to listen.  
  
"I want to ask out Lily Evans and James won't let me," Peter whined. "Sirius says it's up to James but you think it's unfair, don't you? There's no reason for it."  
  
Remus glanced at me shrewdly. "I'm sure there's a reason for it," he said dryly. "But no, James, you can't stop someone else having something, just because you want it and can't have it."  
  
"Haven't you heard of loyalty to your friends?" Sirius demanded hotly. "I know James and I have had plenty of girlfriends but every time they've tried to interfere with the group, or said a bad word about one of you two, we've dumped them! Au revoir! But now, something James feels really strongly about, you back Peter in just hurting him?"  
  
Remus sighed. "Yes, but you two were just having passing flings on a whim. It's not something you anguish about endlessly."  
  
I didn't know how to respond to that. Sirius ignored it. "Look, fine, ask her out - but don't expect me and James to rescue you from Snape as soon as he sees you're free of protectors, Peter. Come on James, let's go."  
  
Peter came crawling with apologies that evening - effusive apologies, and flattery of me that bordered on hero worship. It didn't take me long to guess that Evans had turned him down - more gently than she had me, but rebuffed him none the less. Apparently next time he would 'listen to my and Sirius' advice, as we were clearly better at judging girls than he.' Too true, I muttered sourly - I was still feeling cool towards him. Remus did not apologise, and neither did Sirius or I. Perhaps we had been out of order, but I stuck to the view that friends should come first. Remus, of course, had never really done anything wrong, bar upsetting me by backing Peter, but I suppose he was only being fair. There was a rift between us for a few days, a new coldness and formality, but it soon wore off. Although the potion was basically made, it now needed stirring and incantations said over it every night - it was hard to sit for about an hour with someone in the darkness and not heal wounds. Remus succeeded in making me, through pointed silences, feel occasionally ashamed of my lording it over Peter, but I in return 'helped' him see how he had been unfair to me. We reached a new understanding.  
  
As the end of year exams drew nearer, Sirius and I took over going down to the potion each night. It was simple again now, so we could cope, and both Remus and Peter wanted more sleep and time to study. Sirius and I never bothered. We didn't need to.  
  
My current girlfriend started to moan. "But James, it's ages since we went out... it's ages since we went up North tower... it's ages since... since..."  
  
"Since what?" I snapped.  
  
"Since you've talked to me!"  
  
"Talked to you about what?"  
  
"Anything! Even Quidditch. You've got a match soon, haven't you? Against..."  
  
"Ravenclaw," I supplied.  
  
"Yes," she said. "Ravenclaw. I'll support Gryffindor, of course."  
  
"I should hope so." She was a Hufflepuff second year, pretty but always fairly inane. And she would never listen when I explained that I had other things on my mind. Oh well, it was nearly June, just a couple of weeks to go and then I could dump her, finish the potion and sail through the exams. Then it was only a matter of weeks until summer.  
  
It was a close match against Ravenclaw. I was a stronger Chaser than any of their players - I was rumoured to be Captain next year, although I was sure that couldn't be true, as I was so young - but they had better Beaters and a more even team of Chasers. Even though I was scoring goal after goal pretty much single-handedly, they were scoring just as quickly using all three Chasers. Gryffindor was leading ninety to seventy when our Seeker caught the Snitch. It was over - we had won the Quidditch Cup for the third year running. A large cartoon lion paraded down the steps and strolled around the pitch - I recognised Peter's style of drawing and probable magic by Sirius and laughed. I saw Dumbledore point it out to Professor McGonagall and even she seemed amused, as far as I could see. When I took the Quidditch cup to her office later that evening, she gave me a scarily fond look and said, "I don't know whether I'll be able to live without the Cup on my desk once you've left Hogwarts."  
  
"Oh, you'll still win it, I'm sure," I lied.  
  
"Look, Potter, even I can see you're holding that team together," she smiled. "But I admire your new found modesty."  
  
As predicted, the exams were easy and dumping Helena was no harder. The only difficult part of the last month of term was finishing the potion - it required one last ingredient, both hard to procure and add and then a verse read out over it with no mistakes. We had squabbled over who should do that - Peter with his stutter was out and Remus got too nervous, but out of Sirius and I it was merely that neither of us wanted to do it. The task had fallen to him in the end, when I noticed that the mixture had to be stirred throughout - and I was the official stirrer, after all.  
  
As far as we knew, the whole potion had been made to perfection - it fitted the description in the book and we had followed the recipe to every last word, but still we all eyed it nervously as we left it for the last time until September. Ridiculously, I found myself whispering 'good luck' as I stepped out of the mirror.  
  
The last feast was unusual in that it was held in a hall decorated in Gryffindor colours. A few people said that black drapes should be used, really, as many people were mourning but Professor Dumbledore was obstinate. House colours would be used as normal. So Gryffindor had won the double, House cup and Quidditch cup, for the first time while I was at Hogwarts. I surmised from the fact that we led by only ten points that it had been, in fact, due to me and Sirius that we had won. Because of the potion, we had played very few pranks during the day and had thus lost only twenty or thirty points each; from our party, from being caught up the towers and from the time that Sirius had 'accidentally' thrown a bag of Dungbombs at Snape walking alongside Pringle. The opportunity had been too good to miss. But apart from that, we had been reasonably 'good' this year. Even though we had actually been preparing to do something illegal, we had got into less trouble - our caution had been exemplary.  
  
Remus had shrunk the cartoon lion from the Quidditch match so that it fitted in a box and gave it to me for keeps on the train going home. "He's easy to control, you just put a paperweight on top of him," he laughed. "I just thought it was too good to get rid of. Keep it as a memento."  
  
I grinned. "I could set it free in my muggle neighbourhood. See what happens."  
  
"I wouldn't," Remus replied. "We're doing enough illegal things without you getting the 'Anti-magic-in-front-of-muggle' squad on your tail."  
  
I chuckled. "True," I said.  
  
"And here we are," said Sirius. "Beautiful platform 9 and 3/4. Well, at least, it's beautiful in September," he added glumly.  
  
"Oh, Si..."  
  
"You'd better owl me," he said fiercely. "Or else..."  
  
"Of course I will. Won't I, Neptune?" I said as she twittered in my ear.  
  
"Yeah, well... you'd better," he repeated. 


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: As promised, to celebrate Easter holidays or spring break, whichever you call it, here is the first installment of fifth year and the next comes tomorrow or Wednesday! Thanks to Invisible Voice, Chocoliciouz (patience, patience!), Egypt's Star, Red Emerald and Suji - I agree about the Shrieking Shack incident, but I didn't rily enjoy writing that bit lol. As for all the people wanting more Lily - there is some in this year but then next year she takes over the narrative, so... yeah. Now particular thanx to First Light of Eos - Eihwaz spends half her time moaning these days! On the other hand she is a good friend... so i can 'put up with her'... but the Sev thing is certainly a worry! R and R, all!  
  
Default B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except for Light of Eos *muahahahaha!!!* Lightning will simply make my hair stand up further, dear! Everyone else: aaw! Lily gets to do the beeyootiful butterfly thing. Why can't Sev do the beeyootiful butterfly thing? *sulks* Oh yeah, thanks for the support Invisible Voice!  
  
Chapter 19  
  
I had kept my promise of owling Sirius, as well as Remus and Peter and for the first two weeks I got glum, but still reasonable, replies. Then came a note saying, 'Don't owl me. My parents are going to confiscate Neptune if you do.'  
  
I was concerned, but what could I do? Clearly the best thing was to comply with what he said but it sounded as though his parents were worse than ever. He had already been banned from coming to stay with us this summer, but not to be allowed even to communicate with his friends?  
  
Then, just a week later, somebody banged on our front door.  
  
"Go see who that is, will you, James?" Mum called.  
  
I went down the stairs and obediently opened the front door. "Sirius?" He was standing on the step, dressed in full robes. Glancing over his shoulder, I could see the girls across the street staring. I waved him in and slammed the door. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I've come to visit," he said jauntily.  
  
I laughed. "I can see that, but... I thought you weren't allowed?"  
  
"Can't stop me any more. I've run away from home," he said casually.  
  
I tried to assess whether or not he was joking. In the end I decided it was better just to wait for him to continue.  
  
"I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron," he said finally. "You know, in Diagon Alley? It's pretty wicked, really. I get to have every breakfast, lunch and dinner at either a decent restaurant or in the inn. My bedroom's seriously cool and it's quite cheap."  
  
It rang true, but I sensed that he was not as cheerful as he sounded. "Well, go you," I grinned at last. "But, um, what's with the robes? It's normal to don muggle clothes when you come to see me."  
  
"I don't have any muggle clothes," he admitted. "I could only carry one trunk, my broom and Merlin, and that was awkward enough. I was worried she was going to hoot and wake up Mum, Dad or Regulus." His tone turned sour at the mention of his 'good' brother.  
  
"OK... well, I've got spare," I said. "Mum'll have to engorge them for you, but..."  
  
He followed me up the stairs. "Sorry to bother you and all that, only I was going a bit stir crazy on my own."  
  
"No bother," I said.  
  
Mum's voice floated out onto the landing. "Who was it, darling?"  
  
I cringed, but replied in as level voice as possible. "Sirius."  
  
"Oh, all r- what?" She came rushing out. "Hello, Sirius! Are you okay?"  
  
"Well, yeah, sort of. I've just come to visit."  
  
She beamed. "That's great! We did want you to come stay, but your parents..."  
  
"Yeah, well, I've kind of... jumped ship. Left home. Run away." He grinned sheepishly.  
  
Her jaw dropped. "Sirius!"  
  
"Yeah, well, I got tired of living there. I was just telling James, I've got a room at the Leaky Cauldron for the rest of the summer. I just thought I'd drop in, say hi, tell you what I'm up to."  
  
Mum frowned. "What are you talking about? The Leaky Cauldron? You can stay here!"  
  
He shook his head, but I was sure I saw a spark of hope - or relief? - in his eyes. "I can't, Mrs Potter... it's too long. You don't want me living with you. I'd get in the way."  
  
"No," she said firmly. "I'll tell Mr Potter to pick up your belongings on his way home from work. We can't have you staying all alone..."  
  
"At least let me pay rent, or something."  
  
Mum shook her head. "Don't be silly, Sirius. Make yourself at home - you can have the spare bedroom. We don't want rent."  
  
"But -"  
  
"Listen," she said, "I've no doubt James has told you that I'm not a force to be reckoned with when I'm determined. So go wherever you're going, and then come down and tell us the whole story. That's all I ask in return. And even that you don't have to," she added quickly.  
  
He smiled. "No, no, it's okay... I don't mind telling you."  
  
"We're just going to get some of my spare clothes - he can't stay here in these. Can you come and engorge them for him?"  
  
Mum nodded. "We'll go shopping properly tomorrow," she said. "I don't suppose you've ever been muggle shopping before, have you?"  
  
He shook his head. "It's not something the noble and most ancient house of Black go in for," he replied sadly.  
  
It was one of the most amusing days of my life, taking Sirius shopping in muggle London. His impatience with the underground started the day off - 'they call this travelling?' - and from then on it was a mixture of real amazement and condescending astonishment. We started off on Oxford Street, which he scorned for not having any Quidditch stores or wand shops, and ended up in Harrods where he complained about the service.  
  
"It's no Madam Malkin's, is it?"  
  
Eventually, however, we managed to kit him out with jeans, trainers and about ten t-shirts, three shirts and a jacket. He eyed himself in the mirror when we got home. "I could get used to this," he said. "They're more flattering than robes, really." He did an exaggerated pirouette and laughed. "What would Rem and Peter say?"  
  
"I expect that like me, they'd be more interested in your actual running away. You still haven't told us the story."  
  
He paused. "So I haven't. Last night was all a bit hectic, really."  
  
"So tell me now."  
  
"OK..." he said slowly, and crashed down on my bed. He took a minute's silence, and then swallowed. "You last saw me at King's Cross, didn't you? When I told you to owl me or else."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Well, the first thing my parents said to me was that they'd tried to invite Severus Snape round for the holidays to keep me company, but they'd heard that I'd been bullying him." Sirius laughed. "So then they began the lectures, about how I was a pure-blood, better yet a Black, which made me as good as royal. How Regulus was such a fine example of a wizard, perfect Slytherin material, and how he was planning to join Voldemort as soon as possible. Apparently, I'm advocating a world that isn't right for pure- bloods to live in, where a muggle born could be Minister for Magic and no- one would object - in fact, where wizards, squibs and even muggles could live together! I said that sounded jolly good to me, and Mother... got very cross. Said I was an embarrassment to her. Said she'd always known I was a bad son, and that the day I'd been sorted into Gryffindor she'd tried to disown me... but it would have been too embarrassing. Even our house-elf had more interest in supreme rights for pure-bloods than me - I just wanted to be friends with poor wizards like 'that Pettigrew' and muggle lovers like 'those Potters'. She didn't seem to complain about Remus..."  
  
I said nothing.  
  
"Anyway, then my aunt and uncle came to stay. My aunt very kindly suggested that I could always be stopped communicating with my friends... then I might turn to Snape or Malfoy instead. I said I wouldn't owl anyone if I couldn't owl you. That was when I sent you the letter. Mother was furious. Said that to disobey her in front of her sister was the worst thing that I'd done so far. Said she didn't want to call me her son any more. I ran away that evening - it wasn't hard. I packed my trunk, grabbed my broom and Merlin and snuck out of the house."  
  
"How did you get to the Leaky Cauldron?"  
  
"I hailed the Knight Bus. Worst journey of my life; never use it, mate. At least half the passengers were puking..."  
  
"How many passengers were there?"  
  
"Well, two. Me and a sick woman." He laughed. "She wanted to go to Abergavenny, so we were hopping round the country trying to get there, then we were chuntering along in Scotland... took hours to get back to London. A fault with the steering, I was told, but actually the driver'd fallen asleep at the wheel..."  
  
I grinned. "So are you happy you've left?"  
  
"Happy? I'm thrilled. Your parents are so great, J... I was kinda lonely at the inn, and truth to tell I was sorta hoping your mum'd take me in if I came over..."  
  
"I knew it!" I screeched.  
  
He looked sheepish. "Yeah, well... they're good sorts," he said. "And you are my best mate... I thought of trying Remus next, but it's better like this. Isn't it?" he said anxiously.  
  
"Course," I assured him. "We're as good as brothers now."  
  
And it was funny, but we were. Always a close pair, we were now inseperable. It was one of the best summers of my life - and the very best in his, apparently. We roamed all round the local villages, and up to London. We played two man Quidditch in deserted fields. Together, we picked up muggle girls in clubs or in bars, which we got into with the help of satisfying little magic - we both found that girls threw themselves at us with even less reserve than the witches at school, and not long after the start of August, first Sirius and then I lost our virginities. My only complaints were that the petite blonde was not Evans, and that the setting was not exactly salubrious. Other than that, it was something of a triumph which perfected the summer.  
  
I taught Sirius muggle ways, too, and he took to them. "Why aren't I better at muggle studies?" he asked.  
  
I shrugged. "You will be, now."  
  
We met up with Remus and Peter, back in wizard clothes, in Diagon Alley a week before school started. Having told his own story, embellished how great life with my family was and enthusiastically related the fact that we were now 'men of the world', Sirius asked them what news they had.  
  
Peter shook his head, but Remus looked awkward. "What's up, Moony?" I pressed.  
  
"Well... I just thought you should know... I've been... made-a-prefect," he said very quickly and turned bright red.  
  
I began to laugh and clap. "Oh, that's just brilliant," I said. "I suppose somebody wants you to try and control Sirius and me."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Just you try it, Moony."  
  
He looked relieved. "Course not," he said. "Although I must warn you. Any more night time wanderings will be twenty points off. Becoming an Animagus is equal to a thousand points subtracted. Torturing Snape is fifty points taken. And misbehaving in the corridors is five points minused."  
  
We laughed at him. "Do you know who the other prefects are?"  
  
He shook his head. "No idea... I've got to sit with them in the front carriage of the Hogwarts Express to receive my instructions, but save me a seat. I'll try and get away, then I'll tell you."  
  
"My God," Sirius whistled after a pause. "One of the Marauders, a prefect. The disgrace!" he teased. 


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: I am being generous and probably foolish - this shud stress Eihwaz out hahaa, she needs to finish the next chappie even sooner - but i realised that the B/N of Chap 19 gave away part of wot happened in this one. So here ya go!  
  
Chapter 20  
  
Mum took sending an extra boy back to school completely in her stride. I was impressed - Sirius and I had caused enough mayhem by losing things and nearly forgetting things at the last minute that even Dad, the laid back one, had been convinced we would miss the train. Of course we didn't. Sirius and I slid onto platform 9 and 3/4 with fifteen minutes still to go. We shoved our belongings into a carriage and then stood around on the platform, chatting with the other people. We saw Remus leaning out of the front carriage and waved.  
  
"Where's Peter?" Sirius said. "He should be here soon."  
  
We slid back into the muggle world to see if he was out there. It wasn't so very unlikely that he'd forgotten how to get onto the platform.  
  
"Nope..."  
  
As we re-emerged on the platform, Sirius gave a low whistle. "Somebody's had a makeover," he said. "How come we didn't notice her?"  
  
I followed his gaze and gulped. No, I hadn't really wanted to go out with her myself these last couple of years despite my insisting that Peter shouldn't, but now stones were ricocheting around in my stomach. Evans looked... well, she looked stunning. And for the first time, I was not the only boy staring. Her hair was now shoulder length and loose rather than waist-length and plaited, and it looked a deeper, darker red rather than orangey. She had grown into her amazing, almost ethereal eyes, and now they were more startling than ever. Still that bright, bright green, they were outlined in black and contrasted dramatically with her pale skin.  
  
Sirius was watching me. "So, you going to try asking her out again?"  
  
I shrugged. "Might. A prefect, though," I noticed. "Maybe Moony should try!"  
  
He smiled. "I'd like to see you put up with that one, mate."  
  
At last the train was moving. Peter had struggled onto the platform at the last minute, panting that he'd overslept. It felt strange, starting the year without Remus, but I was off in a world of my own anyway. I heard Peter indicate me and ask if I was feeling all right, but Sirius just laughed and changed the subject.  
  
Remus joined us about an hour into the journey. "The other prefects are Lily Evans, Marcius Malfoy and Patricia Parkinson, Emma Bones and Eric Attley, Annie Griffiths somehow and Bernie Higgins."  
  
"Annie Griffiths?" I echoed. "God they're desperate!"  
  
He laughed. "Thanks, J."  
  
"Not for Gryffindors," I laughed, miming a punch at him as he sat down. He grinned.  
  
"Are we alone?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
He stood up again and checked round the compartment. "Yes. OK, we need to talk about the Animagi. Are you ready, as in have you done all the brain- training?"  
  
All three of us nodded.  
  
"The potion should be ready tomorrow night. The next full moon isn't for two weeks, I think we should give it a go tomorrow. Clearly I need to be there properly the first time, but this way we can practise a few times before next week."  
  
Remus, Sirius and I had decided that Remus needed to be there in person. The first transformation was complicated, involving drinking the potion, saying charms and doing all the brain work. After the first time, it was supposedly possible to change into your animal at mere will, but we had decided that Remus would probably need to help Peter the first time. Sirius and I were confident, but it couldn't hurt to have a helping hand.  
  
We all nodded now, although Peter looked nervous. "So we should probably go out onto the grounds, near the Forbidden Forest but not in it. Animals wouldn't be out of place there," Remus continued.  
  
"Start at about eleven thirty," I added. "We want time to take it slowly and be back well in time for morning."  
  
Remus nodded. "I must admit, I'm slightly envious," he said wistfully. "I know I hate being an animal... but being an Animagus at will would be so much different." He smiled. "I'll enjoy seeing what animal you are tomorrow. Who do you reckon'll have the biggest teeth?"  
  
"Sirius," Peter and I said at once - Sirius himself said "Me."  
  
We laughed. "That's a dead cert., then."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
After the welcome feast, Remus disappeared with the first years and Evans. I was still having trouble thinking straight when I saw her. Could this mean that she had truly changed her image? Maybe she might actually now appreciate the school's hottest boy and best Quidditch player asking her out. I could certainly lift her image that bit further. I'd observe for a few days first, though.  
  
The first day told me I was wrong. She was still bookish, and fairly serious. Clearly, she had only changed how she looked. I doubted she wanted me as a boyfriend, then. It was a disappointment, to say the least.  
  
At least I had the Animagus transformation to anticipate that evening. Ironically, we had Transfiguration last that Monday, and at the end Professor McGonagall approached me. "Well done, Potter," she said mysteriously.  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"You mean the rumours haven't reached you? Why, for the first time I've actually heard a piece of gossip that was true in this school and it hasn't got round to the person concerned?"  
  
Sirius, waiting for me by the door, looked as bewildered as me.  
  
"You're Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Potter," she said. "I hope to see the team fly to new strengths. Win the cup every year from joining to leaving and I might be content!"  
  
I grinned. "Are you serious?"  
  
"Absolutely. I insist on keeping that Cup. My personal house-elf has just got used to cleaning it."  
  
"No, no, about me being captain."  
  
"Yes, Potter, perfectly serious. You're the youngest captain in, hmm, must be twenty, thirty years according to Professor Dumbledore."  
  
Sirius began to cheer. McGonagall smiled. "You'd better go and inform the rest of the team. Gryffindor team trials are next Friday, I expect no favouritism."  
  
"Oh, go on, put me on the team, J!" Sirius called.  
  
"No way, Si. Of course I won't, Professor. And... thank you."  
  
I didn't, in fact, get any sleep before eleven thirty. I was too busy, practising the Animagus concentration, and then running over and over the congratulations I had received, the cheers, the shouts, Snape's face when he'd heard... and above all, just the straight fact - I was Quidditch captain. This was far better than being a prefect - well, at least as far as I was concerned. And soon I would be an Animagus as well.  
  
It had been agreed that Remus would bring the cauldron to our meeting place. He would also take the Invisibility Cloak. Sirius and I were not worried for ourselves about parading about school without it, but Peter was used to being reckless. I had a strange desire to hold his hand and keep him safe, like a child crossing the road. Nevertheless, we made it out into the grounds. When we were about ten metres away, Remus took off the cloak. The cauldron was bubbling beside him. Peter, Sirius and I were each holding a glass flagon. Remus had a ladle in his right hand.  
  
"Ready?" he said.  
  
I eyed the cauldron. "We have to drink that?"  
  
He nodded. "Sorry..."  
  
"Well, I'm as ready as I'll ever be."  
  
I held out my bottle, and he filled it carefully, as instructed by the book. Sirius and Peter followed suit.  
  
"Who wants to go first?"  
  
"Not me," Peter said.  
  
Sirius and I exchanged glances. "You first," I offered sweetly.  
  
"OK... wish me luck." 


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: You will all be thankful that there is no B/N in this chapter! Anyway, thanks to Chocoliciouz, Egypt's Star, First Light of Eos (yes I KNOW the men of the world thing was absurd, it was meant to be lol) and Red Emerald (hav fun with the assignment lol). As to all people who complained about the cliffie... I would just like to point out that I write each year as one chapter and send it to Eihwaz who, I quote, 'corrects, slices and dices' it. So I hold no responsibility for cliffies!!!  
  
Chapter 21  
  
All three of us watched, paralysed by terror and anticipation as he raised the bottle to his lips and drank it. He shuddered, then shut his eyes and began to mutter the incantations. I felt like I would never breathe again. There was a seemingly long, but probably short, pause, then a pop and Sirius disappeared. In his place was a large, black dog. Peter shrieked and leapt back. "It's the Grim!"  
  
Remus and I collapsed laughing. Sirius wagged his tail, and a minute later turned back to his human form. "That," he said wondrously, "was wicked."  
  
Remus and I fervently agreed. Peter seemed less sure - he was happier now Sirius was back to normal. "Could you hear what we were saying?"  
  
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I was thinking normally and everything, only... as a dog! You next, James."  
  
My heart began to pound again, but I took a calming breath and drank the liquid. It was vile, but even as it slithered through me I could feel a strange tingling. Carefully, I worked the human thoughts from my brain and began muttering the incantations. I knew it was going to happen a second before it did. There was another pop, and then the strangest sensation. I would have grinned, only stags didn't really do grinning. I settled for twitching my ears and stamping a hoof instead, then I changed back. They were speechless.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," Sirius said. "It just seems unusual, that's all. I'd never considered your being something like that. I mean, I just fit being a dog, don't I? But you, a stag... I suppose it's very accurate, when you think about it. Proud, athletic, brave, good-looking..." He chuckled at my embarrassment. "Loved the antlers, Prongs."  
  
I laughed. "And your massive paws, Padfoot. You could be a yeti!"  
  
Moony laughed. "Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and... what? Come on Peter, your go!"  
  
He looked terrified. "I don't know if I should. What if it goes wrong?"  
  
"Look," I said as gently as I could, "we know the potion's fine 'cause it worked for me and Si. You've been practising the rest for months. Come on, let's all have one last practise."  
  
No sooner had Sirius and I began thinking about the concentrating, however, than we changed. I clicked back, laughing. "That better not happen in lessons!"  
  
Moony looked frightened. "Imagine if it did..."  
  
"I was joking! It was only because I tried to do the concentrating. See how easy it is, Peter?"  
  
Finally he nodded. "Can you and Sirius, like, go over there? I can't concentrate with all of you. Moony can stay."  
  
Sirius and I did as bid. "I'll race you as animals," he suggested.  
  
"You're on!"  
  
It was a fair match - we raced to the Quidditch stadium and back, me all thundering hooves, him all bared teeth.  
  
We changed back at the stadium, laughing. "I think I won," I panted.  
  
"But I got the bigger teeth."  
  
"You never know, Peter might beat you."  
  
We were running back just as he transformed into... a rat.  
  
Sirius and I stopped. "Oh dear!" Sirius guffawed.  
  
"Just a little embarrassing..." I nodded. "But isn't this supposed to reflect your personality?"  
  
Sirius nodded slowly. An uneasy but inexplicable shiver ran through me.  
  
The first week back at school apparently set the pattern for the year. Fifth year, of course, was OWL year - not something that worried me or Sirius greatly, but Peter was petrified and even Remus seemed determined to knuckle down and study. Sirius and I still didn't need to. I was busy as Quidditch captain, anyway - I was determined that we would again win the cup and I had been ruthless in my choosing of the team players. Throughout the autumn, I told them, we would be training in all weathers - to my half joy, half dismay, our first match wasn't until December, then late May and then, of course, July as normal. This announcement was greeted by groans from the new people, but nods from the old. They would soon learn, I told myself. I would be fair, but I wouldn't accept less than total dedication. Mistakes happened. Other things were caused.  
  
The teachers were beginning to mark our work in the way the OWL papers would be marked. I was satisfied, and not surprised, when all but Potions came out as Outstanding or Exceeding Expectations - and even for Potions I got Acceptable.  
  
"Looks like I'm set to pass a couple of OWLs, at least," I laughed. Sirius was doing just as well, and Moony. Peter, or Wormtail as we had christened him, got Exceeds Expectations in Herbology, Acceptable in History of Magic and Care of Magical Creatures and Poor in everything else, bar Transfiguration and Potions in which he received Dreadful and Troll, respectively.  
  
"But Wormtail," I said despairingly, "we've just spent the last year brewing one of the most difficult potions there is and transfiguring ourselves! What's so difficult about describing in an essay how to turn a stamp into a snail and back? Or brewing a memory potion? It should be simple!"  
  
The first full moon accompanying Moony had been exhilarating. Peter had been small enough to freeze the tree easily and Sirius and I were big enough to control Moony. It was the first time I had seen him as a werewolf since rescuing Snape in third year. We spent the night exploring the Forbidden Forest, and returned Moony to the Whomping Willow in time for morning.  
  
"Hey, Prongs," Sirius said one morning in late November as we sat down to breakfast, "do you realise that soon we'll have better knowledge of the school than even - Dumbledore himself?"  
  
"I wouldn't presume that," Moony said, but I was nodding.  
  
"It must be true. He told Pringle all the passages he knew about so they could be guarded."  
  
"Wasn't that the last head?"  
  
I shrugged and shook my head. "Don't think so. Wouldn't make sense not to tell, really, would it?"  
  
Sirius coughed impatiently. "Anyway, what I was thinking was... we ought to make a map."  
  
"A map? But Padfoot, Hogwarts is Unplottable."  
  
He waved a hand. "Peter can draw it, with our help. And then we can put charms on it."  
  
"Charms to do what, exactly?" I had a feeling he was introducing a good idea, but I wasn't entirely clear on what the idea was.  
  
"Well, what one thing would be most useful to us - above anything else?"  
  
"Knowing where teachers are?" Peter said jokingly. "Yeah right."  
  
But I smiled. "Padfoot... you're a genius!"  
  
He looked smug. "And you, Prongs."  
  
Peter looked bewildered. "What?"  
  
Moony intervened. "What Padfoot means is, we can charm the map to show where everyone in the school is."  
  
"We can charm it to go blank as well, and show passwords to passages," I added.  
  
Peter looked over-awed. "How?"  
  
"Easily. All we need to do is find all the passages in and out of the school. It shouldn't be that hard... we're fairly free to run around as much as we like, these days."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Woof," he said happily. 


	22. Chapter 22 I think

B/N: OK, Lourdaise has disappeared somewhere so I've posted this chapter. Hmm, what to say? Oh yeah, thanks to Red Raspberry, chocoliciouz (well, the whole point of writing in James' POV is that he IS shallow...plus your =] thing is sooooo cute!), CrystalFalls, Meg-goddess (going to read your fic now...) and First Light of Eos (wow! We agree about something!!! ...After all, if you have a character that means your animagus form is a rat and the form is – as far as I know - permanent, then you can never change your character either. So he can't help getting stuck as a prat. Or something...)  
  
Actually, that reminds me... (woah I do waaaay too many ...s): subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except First Light of Eos  
  
...or you could worship Norrington. Or is that the wrong fic? *^_^* Enjoy!!!  
  
Chapter 22 (I think)  
  
Evans was still driving me crazy; not only did I want her more than ever but she was ever more studious in ignoring me, or if we came face to face, glaring at me. I gathered that she disapproved of my treatment of Snape which had now reached its peak with my joy at being an Animagus, at not having to work hard, at being Quidditch captain and his anger. She was also furious at my way with girls. Apparently, it made me even worse than Sirius that I 'pretended' to girls that I was looking for ongoing relationships. As far as I was concerned, that was rubbish! Any girl who hadn't observed and taken note from my track record were clearly incredibly thick - they should know by now what they were doing. Just because Sirius was very open that he was only out to get as far as he could surely didn't make him any better?  
  
Luckily, the forthcoming Quidditch match - my first as captain, after all - was there to take my mind off things, and after that Christmas. We were all going to my house for the holidays, and I suspected that my Dad had bought tickets to a muggle concert. If he had then I was determined Sirius would enjoy it.  
  
The match was against Hufflepuff. I had decided not to make my pre-match talk too long.  
  
"Okay, well, good luck everyone, not that you need it. The training's been going brilliantly, just remember all the manoeuvres I've taught you and keep the killer instinct. That's what'll win it over the Hufflepuffs, 'cause they haven't got any! Watch out for Amos Diggory, actually, he's pretty good. Keep smart, keep fast and Lisa?" The Seeker, who I was avoiding dating on the basis that it would be awkward, looked up at me eagerly. "Keep your eyes peeled. Let's go, guys!"  
  
I led my team out onto the pitch to cheers from all round the stadium. Diggory, the Hufflepuff captain, and I shook hands, and the next minute we were up in the air.  
  
I felt as confidant as ever as I passed and caught, dived and dodged and soared my way down the pitch. My Beaters were strong and competent, my Seeker feinted as I watched and Diggory fell for it. My Keeper was playing well, and the Chasers were excellent. I knew that I was still the most skilled player on the team, but that made no difference. This was school Quidditch - what difference did it make if I had once been offered the chance to play professionally?  
  
When I saw Lisa catch the Snitch, I jumped a foot off my broom cheering and shouting before finally going into land. I heard laughter in the stadium, but most of it was friendly, admiring. We had won my first Quidditch match as captain! Not that it should be surprising - I had never lost a Quidditch match in my life, I reflected.  
  
Mum and Dad were delighted to see all of us at Christmas, especially me and Sirius. "So will we be able to persuade you to sleep two in the guest room, two in James' room now that Sirius lives in the guest room?"  
  
We all shook our heads, laughing. "Sirius is back in mine for three weeks now - sorry Mum!"  
  
She didn't mind really, though she shook her head and tutted.  
  
I had been right, Dad had bought tickets to a muggle concert - to see, in fact, the Rolling Stones at the end of the holidays. I was amazed. "But Dad... I thought it was a sell-out gig!"  
  
He laughed. "Magically, there were still some tickets left... so I bought them. You don't mind, surely? To be honest, I thought muggle concerts were safer than wizard ones these days and besides, you've never liked the Hex Hammers or anyone..."  
  
Mind? Of course I didn't mind, although Sirius didn't understand why I was so pleased and neither did Peter. Remus, however, who was as big a fan as me, just told them to wait. "Live," he kept muttering. "I'm going to see the Stones live in concert."  
  
When we arrived, Sirius and Peter both looked intimidated. "I've never been among as many Muggles as this before," Sirius muttered.  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot. Go with the flow. Chill. Nobody's expecting you to do magic tricks so just relax!"  
  
He smiled. "OK, OK..."  
  
And when we emerged, hot, exhausted and with ringing eardrums hours later, he gave me an amazed grin. "I want to be a muggle," he shouted.  
  
"Padfoot!"  
  
He laughed at me. "Relax, Prongs, go with the flow!" he mocked. "Nobody here knows what a muggle is and no-one's listening to me, anyway!"  
  
It was a bit of an anti-climax to go back to school three days after that, but on the other hand we were fresh and ready to go. The OWLs were apparently putting a strain on the majority of our year now, but Sirius and I shrugged it off. Just because they were in June, everybody was stressing now Christmas had passed. "You'll give yourself a nervous breakdown," I scolded Moony.  
  
He laughed. "No, Prongs, I'm doing an average amount of work. Just because you can sit back and relax and still pass with flying colours doesn't mean we all can. Look at the rest of our year if you think I'm working too hard."  
  
It was true. Everybody seemed to be slaving over books. I saw Evans, whiter than ever through lack of sleep, and others, all looking harassed and toting huge bags of books back and forth from the library.  
  
"Can you imagine having to do that?" I muttered to Sirius.  
  
He shook his head.  
  
Meanwhile, we had been getting on with the map. It had not taken us long to locate a last couple of passages and Peter had drawn us a surprisingly accurate sketch of the school and Hogsmeade, including the Whomping Willow and all secret passages. Sirius and I were just charming it.  
  
"Peeves, we need to put down," I said as we studied it.  
  
"Course. And who else... there must be someone we've missed..."  
  
We pored over it.  
  
"Ah!" Sirius said. "That blasted cat, what's she called? Pringle's cat... Mrs Boris. Yes. Gotta have her." He tapped the parchment twice, gently and the two dots appeared, labelled in miniscule writing.  
  
We had added passwords and directions, statues and portraits... we had added every little detail from cubby holes behind tapestries to the lavatory cubicle where a ghost called Moaning Myrtle apparently hid. At last, just before the next Quidditch match, it was nearly complete.  
  
I sat with my latest girlfriend, a Gryffindor third year, artistically creasing and crumpling the map so that it looked like an old, discarded piece of parchment. Jill reached over and glanced at it. "J, why are you doing that?"  
  
"What, honey?" I had also been watching Lily Evans on the other side of the common room. "Oh, it's apparently a great memory trick. Use invisible ink and then run your fingers over it like so. Sounds phoney, doesn't it? But you know, OWLs coming up... no harm in it."  
  
"But James, you're so clever... you'll pass easily."  
  
She was a nosy cow, but flattery got me anywhere. I'd ditch her after the Quidditch match; I had my eye on a Ravenclaw second year next.  
  
"Hey, Moony, Wormtail, stop revising and come over here!" Sirius yelled. They came hurrying over. "We've finished the map," he told them in a low, but excited voice.  
  
Moony looked impressed. He had helped with many of the charms in the end - we had hit a problem when the staff had a meeting, and the charm froze at having to keep track of so many people in so small a place.  
  
"Well done. Let's have a look."  
  
He took the parchment, tapped it with his wand and muttered the phrase we had decided on. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."  
  
Ink lines began to wriggle over the page and at last the map was displayed in front of him. "Brilliant," Peter breathed beside me.  
  
"Yes, it is rather. You wipe it by saying 'Mischief managed'," I informed them.  
  
Moony nodded. "Just for a final touch..." He waved his wand over the page and swirls of writing spelt out at the top:  
  
Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs  
  
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers  
  
are proud to present  
  
THE MARAUDER'S MAP  
  
"Wicked," I said.  
  
As a laugh, Sirius, Moony, Wormtail and I had added Insult Jinxes to the map. If anyone who did not know the code tried to command the map to reveal itself, a line would appear on the parchment by each of us. We had used a complex version that meant that each insult would be personal.  
  
"We should test it on Snape!" I laughed.  
  
"Too risky," said Moony. "He might not give it back."  
  
"True..." I tapped it and said "Mischief managed! Besides, I suppose he knows that you're Moony - he might report you and we can't have prefects doing things like this, can we?"  
  
"Piss off," he said succinctly. "By the way, did you hear that we've all got to have a meeting with McGonagall? Careers advice, apparently. How do you think I should explain the small problem that being a werewolf means you basically can't have a proper career?"  
  
The news of the meeting had come as a surprise to me, and had also thrown me into confusion. I might not be worried about working towards the OWLs, but for starters that was largely because I knew I'd pass anyway and secondly, anyone would be worried when they had to make a life choice in ten days.  
  
"So, Potter," said Professor McGonagall when I went in. "What fine plans do you have up your sleeve? Mr Black told me he wanted to be an Auror. Mr Lupin reckons he'll remain unemployed. Mr Pettigrew wants to work at the Ministry, but is unsure what as. So, your idea, please?"  
  
"Well, I... I don't really know."  
  
She gaped. "Of all four of you, I had you down as the most ambitious, Potter. But then again, I had no clue at your age either. A teacher, perhaps?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"How about working at Gringotts? You'd do excellently there. Or in the Ministry? I know I scold you from time to time, but you could be Minister for Magic if you put your mind to it."  
  
I perked up a bit. This sort of praise was unusual. Suddenly she lifted a leaflet off her desk and snapped her fingers. "Of course! Mr Potter, you must be planning to go into Quidditch!"  
  
I laughed. "Everyone thinks that..."  
  
"And why not, I ask you? You're easily the best Chaser Hogwarts has seen in fifty years, the best player in thirty. You're down in Quidditch history books already as the youngest player in the junior England squad ever."  
  
A flicker of interest stirred inside me. If I was truly that good... "They might not accept me. And besides, I sort of thought I should be... you know... fighting. With Professor Dumbledore."  
  
She gave me a shrewd but kindly look. "There will be time for that as well," she said. "I'm quite sure they'll offer you the post as soon as you finish your NEWTs. Whether you take it or not is up to you. But I don't doubt you'll get the chance."  
  
I grinned. "Well, okay then. But I'll still need a job after that..."  
  
She piled leaflets into my arms. "I still think Gringotts is an idea. Or perhaps the department for magical sports at the ministry? Think about it. But of course, you needn't decide yet. You're quite right. I decided on my own career as I waited for my Transfiguration NEWT exam to finish," she smiled.  
  
B/N ...So now you can review! Be nice. Please? -^_^- *fails miserably at attempt to look cute'n'appealing* 


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Never fear, Lourdaise is back! I promise not to leave you to nasty Eihwaz for a while LOL. Only kidding. But WHY does she have to put a comment after the chapter title?! Anyway, I was out yesterday so I am sorry to have abandoned you. And today is our usual day! So, thanx to Shay, FreiMe and Red-Emerald. Hmm, you have a VERY GOOD point. I had SO not thought of that. Yes it shud hav been a spell. Never mind. *blushes* and as for Mrs Boris (is that what I called her? I went through several alternatives, my fav of which was nearly Mrs Xoris)... well... sometimes people name one rabbit Crumbley and the next one Crunchy...  
  
Chapter 23  
  
The Quidditch match against Ravenclaw took place a fortnight before the OWLs started, but the whole school came to watch as usual. As I soared above the pitch, I couldn't help thinking about playing Quidditch as a career. It would be amazing, if I could... after all, besides playing pranks it was my favourite thing to do. The feel of the wind in my hair, the exhilaration, the admiration and the cheers from the crowd, the team... Why would I not want to play Quidditch all the time? If it was my job, it wouldn't mean sacrificing school or holidays for it... and if I was truly as good as McGonagall said, then maybe I should look into it.  
  
We won against Ravenclaw more easily than last year - a couple of their best players had left Hogwarts. If we beat Slytherin - which I severely hoped we would - then the Quidditch cup was ours again. I smiled to myself as I strode the corridors looking for Sirius. Four years in succession would be pretty good, I thought smugly.  
  
And then it was OWL time. We were sitting the exams in the Great Hall, the whole year. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending, Lily Evans was sitting distractingly near in my line of vision. The order we sat in was supposedly alphabetical, but so randomly that you wouldn't believe it. Sirius sat four seats directly behind me, and Remus was nearby too. I couldn't see Peter.  
  
The exams ran over a period of two weeks. In the morning we sat the theory papers and in the afternoons we had practical tests. My memory paid off - I had barely glanced at my notes from the past five years, but knew the answer to almost every question. Our first exam was Herbology and from then on it was fine. Even Potions didn't go too badly, on the third day.  
  
I had kept up with Quidditch training, to everyone's amazement. "James, it's OWL and NEWT time!"  
  
"OK, OK, everyone doing OWLs or NEWTs is excused if they wish. Everybody else, however, must attend as normal."  
  
I did, however, decide that even I couldn't be bothered with a proper practice. "You can do what you like," I told them. "Play a game, practise technique... whatever. I'll zoom round and watch and join in."  
  
"You sound like Madam Hooch," Lisa joked. I smiled.  
  
It wasn't just the team who commented on my decision to keep up with practice. I was crawling on the floor trying to find a quill I had dropped when I heard a voice say my name.  
  
"I must say, I'm surprised Potter's keeping up with Quidditch training, aren't you Lily?"  
  
"No," she said sourly. "Gives him a chance to show off, doesn't it? 'I'm the great James Potter who doesn't need to study, I can pass just by writing my name and scribbling a few things I just happen to remember... and oh, by the way, I'm Quidditch captain too.'"  
  
"Don't you think it shows dedication?"  
  
"Not really. Quidditch is a game and he's clearly not dedicated to much else. Look how he treats girls."  
  
"That's true."  
  
"He is good at Quidditch," a third voice said. "It's impressive."  
  
"Sure it is," said the first voice. "But don't forget, this is Potter. Obvious that he'd be good at the thing that would make him a school hero."  
  
Lily had laughed. "The Snitch is pretty, though," she said, wistfully.  
  
I went to the Quidditch store cupboard that evening to take one.  
  
On the penultimate day was Defence against the Dark Arts. The exam was noticably taken up with questions about the Unforgivables, and complicated defence moves that people had found useful against 'He-who-must-not-be- named.' It was chilling, really.  
  
I finished with plenty of time to spare, pulled my scroll towards me and pretended to re-read what I'd written as Professor Flitwick wandered past. I glanced up to check he wasn't watching, turned and grinned at Sirius. He had clearly finished too, and was lounging back in his chair, balancing on two legs. I saw Annie Griffiths watching him hopefully, and two seats along from her Remus was checking his work studiously. Sirius gave a thumbs up and I turned back just as Professor Flitwick said "Three more minutes, everyone!"  
  
I could feel the Snitch struggling in my robe pocket, and restlessly began to draw it on a scrap piece of parchment. I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me, but there was no-one to see. Probably someone was copying my work.  
  
My own gaze rested on Evans, and I began to trace the initials L.E. absent- mindedly below the Snitch.  
  
"Quills down, please!" That was Professor Flitwick again. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"  
  
We were getting used to ducking low now to avoid being hit over the head from behind. The rolls of parchment, over a hundred of them, zoomed into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people, including me, laughed. Evans stood up to help him.  
  
"Thank you... thank you," he panted. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"  
  
I scribbled over the L.E and jumped to my feet. I slung my bag over my back and waited for Sirius.  
  
"Did you like question ten, Moony?" he laughed as we wandered into the hallway.  
  
"Loved it," Remus replied briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."  
  
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" I said, in mock-concern.  
  
"Think I did," he said seriously. "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."  
  
We all laughed, except Peter. "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else..."  
  
"How think are you, Wormtail?" I said impatiently. "You run around with a werewolf once a month -"  
  
"Keep your voice down," Moony implored.  
  
We were heading for our usual place to relax by the lake. I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched.  
  
"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius commented. "I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it, at least."  
  
"Me too," I said. I had caught sight of Lily Evans, and withdrew the struggling Snitch from my pocket.  
  
"Where'd you get that?"  
  
"Nicked it," I said casually as I began playing with it. I let it fly from my hand and caught it, knowing that Wormtail was watching me in awe. I let it fly up to a foot away before catching it; I had excellent reflexes from Quidditch.  
  
We sat down in the shade of a beech tree, where Remus took out a book and began to read. Sirius was watching our surroundings, looking rather bored. I continued to play with the Snitch, enjoying the attention from Wormtail, who clapped and gasped when I made a particularly difficult catch. Only, the girls at the water's edge that were watching me did not include Lily Evans. I ruffled my hair anyway, and lounged back further.  
  
"Put that away, will you," Padfoot said finally as Peter lost all control and cheered as I made a fine catch, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."  
  
I grinned, though Peter turned pink. "If it bothers you," I said, stuffing it in my pocket.  
  
"I'm bored," Sirius said. "Wish it was full moon."  
  
"You might," Moony said darkly, emerging from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here..."  
  
Sirius shook his head and snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."  
  
At that moment, I caught sight of a greasy head nearby. "This'll liven you up, Padfoot. Look who it is..."  
  
Sirius turned, and became very still. An evil grin touched the corners of his mouth. "Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus." 


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: OK everyone, this is James' last chapter! So say goodbye. Well actually if I do a sequel then he might take back over but hey. Thanks to Chocoliciouz, PriBAngel, Red-Emerald, CoronaCALIgurl and Egypt's Star.  
  
Chapter 24  
  
Snape began walking away at that point. Sirius and I stood. I heard Wormtail's gasp of excitement.  
  
"All right, Snivellus?" I called.  
  
He swung round, dropped his bag and raised his wand, but I was faster. "Expelliarmus!"  
  
Snape dived after his wand as it fell to the ground behind him, and Sirius gave a bark of laughter. "Impedimenta!"  
  
Students all around us were coming to watch. I turned to glance at the girls at the lake's edge, and saw Wormtail stand to see better. Sirius and I began to advance, wands raised.  
  
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?"  
  
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks over it, they won't be able to read a word."  
  
Many of the audience laughed. Snape was struggling to sit up, but the jinx was still operating.  
  
"You - wait," he panted, looking up at me with purest loathing, "you - wait!"  
  
"Wait for what?" Sirius asked coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"  
  
Snape let out a mixture of curses and swear words, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.  
  
"Wash out your mouth," I said coldly. "Scourgify!"  
  
Pink soap bubbles foamed from his mouth, making him choke and gag.  
  
"Leave him ALONE!"  
  
We looked round, surprised. Lily Evans was standing glaring at us. My free hand jumped immediately to my hair. "All right, Evans?" I said pleasantly, making my voice more mature than when cursing Snape.  
  
"Leave him alone," she repeated. Dislike was written across her face. "What's he done to you?"  
  
"Well," I said, deliberating the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."  
  
Most of our audience laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included. I noticed that Moony did not, and nor did Evans.  
  
"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."  
  
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," I said quickly, flashing her a half grin. "Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," she said.  
  
"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said briskly. "OI!"  
  
Snape had reached his wand and now there was a flash of light and a gash seared down my cheek. I whirled round; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air. His robes fell over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.  
  
Many people cheered, and Sirius, Peter and I roared with laughter.  
  
"Let him down!" Lily demanded.  
  
"Certainly." Snape crumpled onto the ground with a flick of my wand, disentangled himself and pointed his wand at me.  
  
"Petrificus totalus!" Sirius said, before Snape could hex me.  
  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I watched warily as Lily took out her own wand.  
  
"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," I said earnestly.  
  
"Take the curse off him, then!"  
  
I gave a deep sigh, but turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse. "There you go," I said as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"  
  
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"  
  
Lily blinked.  
  
"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants, if I were you, Snivellus."  
  
I saw red. Lily had stopped me torturing Snape, and he had repaid her simply by calling her a Mudblood? "Apologise to Evans!" I roared at Snape, pointing my wand at him threateningly.  
  
"I don't want you to make him apologise," Evans shouted, rounding on me. "You're as bad as he is."  
  
"What?" I yelped, truly hurt. "I'd NEVER call you a - a you-know-what!"  
  
"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." She turned on her heel and hurried away.  
  
"Evans!" I shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"  
  
But she didn't look back.  
  
"What is it with her?" I said, trying to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to me. It was the first time she had attacked me so directly, and in front of an audience.  
  
"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," Sirius said.  
  
"Right," I said, feeling my face redden with fury and embarrassment. "Right -" With another flash of light, I whipped Snape back up into the air. "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"  
  
"Urgh, no!" cried a few, but most people cheered.  
  
"Squeamish people shouldn't look," I advised, laughing cruelly. "Ready, Snivelly?"  
  
I gave a wave of my wand, and the majority of the crowd squealed. But someone had blocked my spell. I spun round. Remus was staring just as intently at his book, but he was red-faced and his wand was by his side. I didn't mention it, but merely said, "Thank you, whoever that was - nobody really wants to see that, I'm sure. Two inches, isn't it Snivelly?"  
  
I tucked my wand in my robe pocket and began walking off. I heard someone right Snape and then the crowd dispersed.  
  
"That was brilliant!" Peter said fervently. "Shame someone blocked you..."  
  
"Urgh, Peter, do you think so?" I grinned at Moony, but he resolutely said nothing.  
  
I kept the Snitch after that, anyway. It had impressed most of the girls, if not Lily. The OWLs were over, and after that, we were hardly given any proper work. We were told that we would receive our results during the holidays, probably in late July.  
  
"Great," said Peter, "So I can't even hide it from my mum when I get Troll in everything?"  
  
"You won't," I said, as sincerely as I could.  
  
"Easy for you to talk," he said. "You'll get Outstanding in everything, and win the Quidditch cup."  
  
I laughed. "Hope so, we're against Slytherin."  
  
The last Quidditch match was thrilling. It lasted an hour and a half, in which only six goals were scored - one by Slytherin, and the other five by me. Yes, me. My Chasers, I discovered, were good at intercepting - and being intercepted. They had not trained in diving and dodging as I had. Still, it didn't matter - Lisa caught the Snitch, flying just an inch in front of the Slytherin seeker. I whooped and cheered, did a backflip along the length of my broom and then flew at Lisa, lifting her off her broom and swinging her round before kissing her on each cheek. She giggled as I placed her down again. "What was that for?"  
  
I noticed that she was holding her breath, and felt a pang of guilt before replying, "For winning us the Quidditch cup!"  
  
My acceptance speech was not long and, I liked to think, amusing - it certainly got a lot of laughs. As I did a celebratory lap of the pitch, it was as though my head was clear. How could I have considered giving up Quidditch when I left school? It was my life.  
  
At last it was the end of term. We had, somehow, won the House cup again. Snape had been particularly obnoxious since the episode during the OWLs and Lily Evans had glared at me every time she saw me, but I tried not to care. Summer was here, and it looked promising.  
  
"Here's to James Potter, our Quidditch hero!" yelled Daniel Robinson, one of the Beaters, as we prepared to depart, and the whole common room cheered.  
  
I grinned. "And here's to the Marauders," I muttered to Sirius, echoing the cheer from so long ago.  
  
He mimed holding up a glass. "Hear, hear!"  
  
A/N: Now here is an interesting idea. Because it is James' last chapter, how about EVERYBODY reviews? I accept anonymous ones, so there is no reason why anyone can't! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeee? 


	25. Chapter 25 THIS IS LILY

A/N: So here we go, Lily takes over. I hope this will be the end of the complaints that there is not enough L/J action - I quite agreed with you but there wasn't much I felt I could do. Anyway, thanks to Red-Emerald (fear not, yes here is Lil), arf (sorry it was too short), chocoliciouz (NO it is not over but I already emailed you to say that!), SiriusObsession (yes we remember you, welcome back!), Latoya (well no I'm afraid I'm not skipping but Year 6 is only 5 chapters and also, the Lily-mindset begins to change pretty soon. but if u wanna leave ur email address then i will email u when Yr 7 starts), Egypt's Star (well, yes, I know, but... I will keep Sirius), Wind Whisperer (lol I know, soz), RedRaspberry (well now it's Lily... hope you like...), First Light of Eos (agreed he is arrogant but I love him anyway lol... he will improve), gryffindor_girl2002 (thanx), PriBAngel (thanx lol), Invisible Voice :D (er... thanx dear...), Cyclone Girlie (that was James' last because, well, I am a girl and find it hard to imagine... certain things... in a boy way...), atiya (thanx) and rinny (thanx). WOOHOO!!!!! 15 reviews is a record for one chappie! Thank you all and I hope you enjoy Lily! Review!  
  
B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except First Light of Eos *sobs* Now you see why I ran away for chapter 24? Cruel, cruel Marauders (except Remus *pats Remus*) Oh well. At least Lils has the right ideas... for the moment... Yay! Thankyou gryffindor_girl2002!!! And First Light of Eos: ok, as you have presented me with a challenge, here is my advice: go and read 'Men of Our Word' by L.M.Griffin. I have no idea how you feel about slash, but it is veeeeeeery mild in this first part of her trilogy and the fics do give Norrington an amusing, wry inner voice...  
  
A/N: Sorry I just have one point before I shut up. Patting Remus, Eihwaz?! Your taste is improving...  
  
Chapter 25  
  
Lily  
  
I hate James Potter. I was sitting watching him fooling around on platform 9 and 3/4, and that was all I could think. I hate James Potter.  
  
A pretty self-explanatory statement, I guess, but truly I cannot understand why even one person would like him, let alone the whole year-group. Well, almost the whole year-group. Not me, Juliet or Rebecca, obviously. Or the Slytherins. But they just hated anyone who wasn't one of them. I, on the other hand, wasn't given to hating people. Only James Potter and his best friend, Sirius Black. I've always viewed Peter Pettigrew as a bit of a tag- along, a bit wet but not as honestly vile, repulsive, horrible, cruel and arrogant as Potter and Black. And I always tarred Remus Lupin with the same brush as his friends, although he'd been unceasingly pleasant to me when we were prefects together. And at least he wasn't a womanizer... in fact, I don't think he had a girlfriend at all. Peter didn't, of course, but no girl really wanted to be seen with him. Not even me, but I was hiding behind my feminism.  
  
Of course, I'd been persuaded to have a make over during the summer before fifth year, but I'd never wanted to attract him. Or Potter. Imagine, going out with him... sure, I knew most of our year - most of the school, come to that, he didn't stop at his own age group - considered he and Black to be the hottest guys around, but I certainly wasn't one of the fan club.  
  
"But don't you think he's so sexy? And yet still so... cute?" whined several girls.  
  
I spluttered. "I wouldn't know about the first, but cute? Cute? How can anyone - anything - that arrogant, and bullying, and... and... foul be cute?"  
  
It was lucky I was so popular, or that sort of comment would have named me as an outcast, possibly verging on an invalid. As it was, I was allowed to be individual, because I had earnt my place as a caring, kind and popular girl before Potter had turned 'charming' and everyone loved him. Besides, there was always someone around who he'd just dumped that wanted me to hug them and repeat how I'd known he was a bad person from the start.  
  
He was clever, too, of course. That was another thing that wasn't fair. He and Black never worked, and yet we three had tied with the best results in school in the OWLs. Remus Lupin was not far below - but at least I'd seen him poring over books for the last two months. Peter Pettigrew brought up the rear, pretty much, with three OWLs. And even that seemed to have surprised him pleasantly.  
  
"Hey, Lils, what's up?"  
  
"What?" I turned and grinned as Juliet dragged her trunk into my compartment and sat in the seat next to me. "Nothing, why?"  
  
"You had that preoccupied look on your face again. So what are you thinking about?"  
  
"Oh, just brooding about Potter," I said. "Par normal."  
  
She grinned. "You know, Lils, none of us like him, but I swear you border on obsessive."  
  
"Yeah, maybe. I just wish..."  
  
"Wish what?"  
  
"I wish he'd fall off his damned broomstick and sink into oblivion with the humiliation!"  
  
"Harsh," said an agreeable voice behind me, "but a sentiment I often feel too. Evening, Miss Evans," Remus Lupin said, sticking his head in our compartment door. "I take it he and Sirius aren't here then?"  
  
I smiled. "Good evening. And no."  
  
"How come you don't mind him?" Juliet said when he'd moved off. "He's friends with Potter."  
  
"I know, but he's different. He's sweet, in a gentlemanly sort of way."  
  
"You don't fancy him, do you?" Rebecca appeared on my other side.  
  
I laughed. "No! He's just not such a bad person, that's all. At least he doesn't bully people."  
  
"True. Or play Quidditch."  
  
"I've nothing against Quidditch itself," I protested. "Just... Potter."  
  
In fact, for once I was feeling kindly disposed to Quidditch. My sister, Petunia, whom I loathed and who continually called me 'Freak' because I was a witch, had received rather a fright when a Snitch that someone... and I didn't know who... had given to me flew into her room and circled her head for so long that she cried.  
  
"Freak!"  
  
I hadn't responded.  
  
"Freak, come here! One of the freaky things from... that place... is in my room!"  
  
I heaved myself off my bed, where I had been reading, and paced across to her room where I saw the Snitch. I laughed, delighted to have a chance to fight her almost with magic.  
  
"Oh, Petunia, it's only a Snitch!"  
  
"A what? No, wait, I don't want to know. Just get it away from me!"  
  
"It's part of Quidditch," I said, sitting down to explain though I barely knew the rules myself. "The Seeker has to catch it, and whichever team's Seeker catches it first, gets 150 points. That's why the Snitch is really the most important ball - it often dictates the outcome of the game."  
  
"Great," Petunia snarled. "But why have you got something that's used in wizard football?"  
  
"It's not football, you must have misunderstood," I said. "It's played on broomsticks in the air and -"  
  
"I never want to hear you talk about your world again!" Petunia screamed, interrupting me. "NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! Just get this thing away from me!"  
  
I reached out and tried to catch the Snitch. For once in his life Potter could be useful and I was at home. It was harder than it looked, but at last I clasped it, struggling, in two hands, and admired it. I had kept it - the gift? - because I had always thought the Snitch was pretty. And it was an easy way to remind myself that a better life, a magic life where I fitted in, did exist. However I did wonder who had left it in my bag. As far as I was aware, only Juliet and Becky knew of my fleeting delight in the little winged ball. And they certainly hadn't given it to me. Oh well.  
  
I brightened up once we left King's Cross - there was no more risk of coming into contact with Him for a few hours, and no having to live with Petunia for best part of a year. My best friends and I had been joined by the other Gryffindor girls and some Ravenclaws who I liked, despite their penchant for Potter and Black. We spent the train journey trying not to munch through too many pumpkin pasties and chocolate frogs, and exchanging hair and make up tips as well as stories from the summer.  
  
At last we arrived and I surveyed the castle happily. My parents had always supported me through being a muggle or a witch, and I loved them dearly, but this was more like home to me now. I twisted my hair up behind my neck and stretched.  
  
"Good to be back?" Juliet teased.  
  
I yawned in reply as we crashed into our usual seats at the Gryffindor table. She giggled. "Yeah," she agreed.  
  
I saw Potter watching me down the table and frowned. I had never really forgiven him for that first remark about house elves. Could I help it that I hadn't known? Stuck up pureblood, I thought bitterly - even more sour because I knew it wasn't true. If there was one thing Potter didn't rate himself on being, it was a pureblood. But he had made me feel foolish that first day, and I didn't forgive that easily. By now, of course, there were more sores than that. But it had been the start.  
  
Luckily, the Sorting Hat began to sing at that point, and in listening to that I forgot my other woes. Everybody enjoyed the Sorting of the first years - last year, I remembered trying to herd them all along to Gryffindor Tower afterwards, Lupin and I laughing as they kept falling down missing stairs and staring at the talking portraits. This year, after the back-to- school feast I was able to go straight back to the common room, where our time tables were waiting. I picked mine up and glanced through it. I was continuing with Charms, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Astronomy and Herbology. The last was a choice made less through interest or even need to continue for later life, but merely because it was better than History of Magic, Potions or Care of Magical Creatures. I had been allowed to give up Flying, too, at last - that was a great relief.  
  
Then I noticed that I was holding two pieces of parchment by mistake. Potter's timetable had somehow stuck to my own. I glanced at it furtively and my mouth dropped open in horror. By some terrible twist of fate, we were still in some classes together! He was taking Muggle Studies instead of Arithmancy, and Defence against the Dark Arts instead of Herbology, but apart from that we were entirely together! Why, why, why?  
  
"Hey, Potter," I said, as best I could with my dry throat, "I've got your time table."  
  
He came and took it from me, grinning. "Been checking out which classes we share?"  
  
"As a matter of fact I have," I replied. "To my disgust and horror we have only two classes apart." And with as much dignity as possible, I threw the parchment at him and stalked off to bed.  
  
I soon discovered, however, that it was not as bad as I feared. Yes, the classes were a little smaller now, as everyone was taking fewer subjects, but I was not forced to have close contact with Potter any more than before. I sat at the front of classes, he sat at the back; there was always someone else to sit with.  
  
Unsurprisingly, Arithmancy and Herbology were the emptiest classes; in the former, only ten people took the subject. Thankfully, only Lupin took that from the 'Marauders' - as Potter's gang was ludicrously called. He didn't bother me, and I didn't work with him anyway. I sat beside Robert Diggory - the quiet, more studious brother of Amos Diggory, who had waged war on Potter when Gryffindor beat Hufflepuff in Quidditch. Robert was in Ravenclaw, and was the opposite in almost every way to his sibling. He was shy, calm and good-tempered, whereas his brother had an infamously short fuse and love of shouting. Robert had an unobtrusive sort of good looks and he certainly wasn't a player like Potter. He was the sort of person you neither noticed nor really expected to like until you got to know him. We had always got on fairly well, however, due to being together in Arithmancy and bizarrely, in Astronomy, in which we always seemed to have adjacent telescopes.  
  
"Clearly, we're destined to be friends," he had joked the previous year on noting that we had been placed together again. "Permanent partners in Arithmancy and neighbours in star-gazing!"  
  
We were always able to have a laugh together, and discuss both light- hearted and deeper matters. We had even ruminated on boy/girl problems from time to time.  
  
"So, Lily," he said at the start of our fifth Arithmancy lesson, "how are things?"  
  
I laughed. "What things?"  
  
He shrugged. "You know... life."  
  
"Fine, I guess... you?"  
  
"Yeah, good, yeah."  
  
I gave him an odd look. "Robert, you can be very strange..."  
  
"I return the compliment."  
  
"Hey!" I smiled. "I was being serious."  
  
"And so was I. I never asked you how the summer went, with your sister and all that."  
  
I had not expected him to remember how I had moaned about Petunia last year, and was touched. "Oh, not too bad..." I recounted the story of the Snitch to his amusement.  
  
"So why did you have it?" he asked curiously.  
  
"A mystery," I replied. "Someone left it zooming around in my bag with a bonding charm on it so it wouldn't fly away. No note or anything, but it was clearly meant for me."  
  
"A bit strange," he said. "It's not like you're a big fan of Quidditch..."  
  
"No, but I do have a bizarre fascination with the Snitch," I admitted. "They're just so... mesmerising, close up."  
  
He grinned. "Who was calling who strange, a minute ago?"  
  
I raised my wand threateningly and he backed down. "Sorry, sorry. Well, I don't know. Who'd have access to the Quidditch store cupboard?"  
  
"Anyone, if they knew the Alohomora charm," I said, smiling. "I tried thinking it through like that too."  
  
"Oh, well, you obviously have a mystery admirer... I have competition."  
  
"You?" I laughed incredulously. "An admirer? I somehow think not."  
  
He chuckled, but a flash of... something... went across his face. I was intrigued. 


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Well I am glad nobody hated that... I miss James too, but... this isn't too bad, I hope! lol. Thanx to Invisible Voice (ah I'm sorry I must have been confused when I thought I knew you...), chocoliciouz (:D), rinny, RedRaspberry (yes, I know :( but if you don't mind Lily then I am glad...), PriBAngel, JeWeLs, atiya (aha, wait and see!), EgyptsStar and Red-Emerald (LOL i like ur humour - it was extremely funny, if not helpful!) So that was a satisfying number of reviews... you ppl are so great! *Beams*. No Eihwaz today so on with the show!  
  
Chapter 26  
  
"So you think Robert Diggory likes you?"  
  
"No! I didn't say that!" My face was an equal colour to my hair now. I had brought the subject up, quietly and discreetly, with Rebecca, but her shriek had drawn over all the Gryffindor girls in sixth, seventh and fifth year.  
  
"Yes, you did. You said a 'certain expression' crossed his face!"  
  
"It did, yes, but did I say what sort of expression? No I didn't!"  
  
"Well, all right," said Juliet, "you tell us what you thought it was. Given the context and everything."  
  
Now I was trapped. Of course I had thought exactly the same as all of them. "Well..."  
  
"See!" crowed Emma Bones. "You do agree with us."  
  
"Well, maybe, but... I don't know."  
  
"Nobody knows when a boy likes them... unless it's James or Sirius... you have to take a gamble on it. What are you going to do about it? Do you like him?"  
  
"I like him... but I don't, well, you know... like him."  
  
"But could you? I mean I don't know him but he always seems quite sweet and sort of inoffensive."  
  
"Yes, that's him all right. He is sweet and all that, but..."  
  
"Well, so can you be when you put your mind to it," Juliet laughed. "You just have a temper to boot."  
  
I laughed. "True..."  
  
"So, OK, if he was to ask you out," pressed Eleanor Diggle, a fifth year, "what would you say? And you can't deny you've turned people down before, so if you'd accept him then you obviously like him."  
  
"Well, all right, I obviously do then! But I know we're friends... that's the main reason I'd go out with him, 'cause I know we get on."  
  
"Yeah, but snogging him..." pressed Ellie.  
  
"And this conversation is now over!" I screeched in anguish.  
  
I'd never had problems keeping other people's secrets. I had more trouble with my own. It was very hard to keep talking to Robert as though I had taken no notice of his strange words, and eventually he mentioned it. It was the Hogsmeade weekend after Halloween and I was sitting on a bench alone, reading. Rebecca and Juliet had detention from Pringle, for dropping a vat of engorgement potion that they were carrying in the corridor. It had been an accident, but Pringle was never one to believe things could happen by accident. His motto was 'Accidents don't happen. They are deliberately caused.'  
  
Robert had been joking with a group of Ravenclaw boys when he'd seen me and had come across. "May I sit here?"  
  
I shifted my bag onto the floor. "Sure," I said, slightly shrilly. He glanced at me.  
  
"Lils, you're acting slightly... oddly... these days."  
  
"Oh, I'm just... tired," I said quickly. "All this hard work, you know." It was partly true - NEWT standard work was harder than any work I'd done before.  
  
"Are you sure that's it? Only you don't talk to me so much now."  
  
"I'm just... concentrating more."  
  
"Not now, you're not - you're not even in a lesson and you're acting weirdly."  
  
I smiled. "You always catch me out."  
  
"Is it because of that thing I said the other day?"  
  
"What thing?" I asked, but the tone of my voice had sharpened and he half grinned, half looked depressed.  
  
"I thought that might be it." He lowered his voice. "I'm sorry, Lils, I didn't mean... well, no, OK, now we're on the subject I may as well be honest. I did mean something by it... but you needn't worry, if you don't... that is... don't want... don't think of... but then again if you... if you did ever... you know... consider... then..." He gave me a helpless look.  
  
I couldn't help smiling. "Robert, are you by any stretch of the imagination trying to ask me out?"  
  
He grinned hopefully. "Well, it's only... you don't seem to be doing anything much right this minute, and I'm certainly not, and so... if you wanted... we could go and have a drink or something..."  
  
I smiled. "That'd be great, Robert."  
  
It was in fact the first 'official' date I'd ever been on. Both at home in the muggle world and here in the wizarding world, most boys had thought me unattractive until I'd had my hair cut shorter and started wearing eyeliner. After that, I had been asked out by several - Peter Pettigrew, actually, had asked me out before, but he asked me again afterwards. Even Potter had asked me out again and again, although I remain convinced that he was joking. A couple of Hufflepuffs, a Ravenclaw in the year above and a few muggles had asked me out - I had declined with varying degrees of gentleness. Robert was a friend, already, however, and I had to start dating sometime. So why not with him?  
  
Several eyes were on us as we sat laughing together at one of the tables in the Three Broomsticks. I noticed Professor McGonagall pointing us out to Professor Flitwick, who had always had a soft spot for me. Suddenly Robert smiled.  
  
"I had no idea Potter liked you," he said, watching a place somewhere over my shoulder.  
  
I scowled. "He doesn't. He just likes to tease and embarrass people."  
  
"Then why is he glowering at me as though he wants to kill me?"  
  
"Oh, he's not in here, is he?"  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact. And not too happy either."  
  
"Well then I guess it's because I rejected him last year. He was intending to humiliate me, but I swung it round and embarrassed him instead. So I'm sure he doesn't like to see that I don't just turn everyone down."  
  
Robert grinned but said nothing further. He was still grinning when Sirius Black 'accidentally' kicked his chair on his way out, and Potter 'accidentally' elbowed him in the back of the head. I rolled my eyes, though - their bullying was irrational. It meant nothing.  
  
Juliet and Rebecca were amused when they heard about my date. "Finally given up on your boycott of the opposite sex?"  
  
I blushed slightly. "It was never a boycott!"  
  
"No, well, OK... just a boycott of the wet prats that asked you out."  
  
I smiled but remained silent.  
  
"So, did he kiss you?"  
  
"No," I said calmly. "And now tell me about detention."  
  
"You have to be joking! Lils!"  
  
"Look, I've told you everything."  
  
"Every detail?"  
  
"No, not every detail but the main things! God, honestly. It's not so interesting!" But it was. Even I was bubbling with childish excitement, and it was so absurd...  
  
"OK, OK, just one more question? Please?"  
  
"Fine..."  
  
"So is he your boyfriend now?"  
  
I stared at them. "When I said one question, I thought it would be small! Not something that even I haven't considered yet!"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"We'll see," I said finally.  
  
For the next few weeks, we chatted as usual when we met, and we went into Hogsmeade a couple more times, but there was nothing serious. I half wondered whether this was as far as it would get - it certainly wasn't very satisfying if that was the case.  
  
"So, Lils, do you want to... meet up tonight? We could go... somewhere..." Robert said one afternoon in December as we left Arithmancy.  
  
I smiled. "You know," I mock-gushed, "I just adore your spontaneity!"  
  
He grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I know, I'm not very good at this, am I? But we could go for a walk... I assume you're not interested in the tower balconies?"  
  
I gave him a sharp look. "You assume correctly. I am not a -"  
  
He held up a hand. "Woah, woah, Lils, I said you wouldn't be, didn't I?"  
  
I giggled. "Sorry."  
  
"No worries. So, a walk? A kind of, er, cold one?"  
  
"We could stay indoors."  
  
"Sure. So... meet me... somewhere..."  
  
I laughed again. "Do you know where the portrait of the fat lady is?"  
  
"Yeah, kind of."  
  
"Near McGonagall's office."  
  
"Yeah... shall I meet you there, then?"  
  
"Is that all right?" I checked. I had no idea how far away the Ravenclaws lived.  
  
"Of course. What time?"  
  
"Ten o' clock?"  
  
"OK. See you there, then."  
  
I nodded and waved as he headed off to Potions and I went to Astronomy.  
  
A voice behind me said anxiously, "You won't go outside, will you?"  
  
I spun round. "Lupin! Were you listening?"  
  
He looked sheepish. "Sorry."  
  
"It's all right... but no, we won't go outside. Far too cold. Why?"  
  
"Nothing, it's just... someone... was outside last night and nearly got attacked by a vicious creature. And you never know, what with Voldemort..."  
  
"Potter? Black?" I guessed.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"And where were they? In the Forbidden Forest?"  
  
"No. Just outside. Don't go," he said.  
  
"I won't. But thanks." It was mystifying, but all the same I noticed that he had said Voldemort rather than 'You-know-who'. I had thought I was the only one besides Dumbledore to do that, and I had assumed it was because I didn't fear personal loss. But if Remus Lupin said his real name... maybe it was a 'brave' Gryffindor trait. 


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Well it is nearly the end of Easter and this is your penultimate speed-update - one on Tuesday, then one on Friday at which point we will be back to normal. K? Right, thanx to Child-of-Scorpio (wow, I am honoured that you could be bothered!), First Light of Eos (I like James, then Remus, then Sirius, then Peter. And yes James will return SOON), Invisible Voice (my mistake was in thinking I knew you through-and-through. Only now have I realised that you have, er, 'hidden depths'), chocoliciouz (yes, that was the general idea... lol) and Egypt'sStar (well just dont let go of that cliff. :D and Remus was always reasonably human, I think.) Well anyway, this is an... interesting chapter. I am not sure whether I like it or whether I think it is too cliché. Review anyway! Ooh also thanx to RedRaspberry - I was literally just about to update when your review came thru!  
  
Default B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except for First Light of Eos Nowt else to say really. Though you might want to kill me for the cliffie *grins*" Chapter 27  
  
I emerged from the portrait hole at ten o' clock and found Robert waiting. "So this is Gryffindor tower, then?"  
  
I smiled. "Yeah."  
  
"Cool. We have to drop through one of the missing stairs to get into our common room."  
  
"Surely not!"  
  
"Well, OK, that's just a short cut. I've forgotten where the actual entrance is. Somewhere ridiculously far away from everything else."  
  
I laughed and we began to wander around aimlessly, talking about little things and joking. Suddenly there was a loud 'Miaow' by my feet.  
  
"Holy crap," Robert said. "Mrs Boris - Pringle."  
  
He grabbed my hand as the cat ran off and muttered something. A tapestry swung forward and revealed a small cubby hole. He pulled me in beside him and we were concealed.  
  
"Lumos," I said quickly, casting light into the dingy hole. "How'd you know about this?"  
  
"Oh, some of us found it in first year. There're quite a few like it round the school and Pringle never seems to know about them."  
  
"I see."  
  
We sat in silence for a minute, then I whispered, "How will we know when he's gone?"  
  
"There's a hole up there. I'll look out when it seems he's probably moved on."  
  
At last he stood up. "Gone," he confirmed, peering out. I stood up too. "You just shove this to move it," he said, but just as I began to push it, he reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. My heart began to beat a little faster, and then he leaned forward and kissed me.  
  
For a first kiss, I had to say it was slightly disappointing. I had expected more romance, or more thrill, or more... something. Certainly not something that seemed so entirely... well, boring.  
  
Of course I didn't say that to him. Nor did I mention it to Juliet, Rebecca or anyone else. It was just... slightly... well, worrying, I supposed. Was I just too hard to please? Or was I right to expect more? Were Robert and I just incompatible, or was this the best I was going to get?  
  
It was a question that worried me for the next few days - no wonder people sometimes called me obsessive, I thought, but really this was an important issue. Was there something wrong with us... or just me?  
  
Luckily, it was soon Christmas and that distracted me. I did not go home, as usual - it was one of the best times of year, when Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew went away and Juliet, Rebecca and I pretty much had the Gryffindor common room to ourselves, save a few others.  
  
As usual, my present from Petunia was a Mars bar, which I gave to Juliet, who found Muggle sweets more exciting than I did. My parents had sent me a book and fifty pounds 'to spend on something exciting for myself'. I could hardly blame their helplessness in buying presents now. So few muggle things were very useful to me, and they could not shop in the wizarding world. I usually got money for Christmas.  
  
We spent a large part of the holidays having snowball fights and, unusually, flying. None of us were very good, but we had fun zooming around at a low height and not having to shoot goals or catch Snitches. Meals during the holidays were always fun - the teachers tended to extend their own table and we would sit with them. I had always been able to have a laugh with teachers just as well as students, with the exception perhaps of Professor Sherwin, Potions master and Head of Slytherin house and the Divination mistress, whose name I did not know. Even Dumbledore was easy to talk to, if you forgot the fact that he was headmaster.  
  
It was only three weeks, however. Everybody returned to school in January, and the corridors were again filled with flying sparks, loud voices and laughter, as well as tears or depression from those who had suffered over the holidays. Voldemort had struck a few times over the holidays, and most wizards had at least some connection with someone at Hogwarts. It was chilling.  
  
I had been expecting to hear that Petunia's long-standing boyfriend, the repulsive Vernon Dursley, had proposed, but didn't. That cheered me up, imagining her sulking and counting the days until her birthday in April - the next 'opportunity'.  
  
My own birthday came in late February - typically, on the day of the second Gryffindor Quidditch match. We had beaten Ravenclaw in a reasonably exciting match, and I wasn't too upset that I had to watch us against Slytherin on my birthday. It was always the best match of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and I nearly forgot myself and laughed when I saw Sirius Black, sitting not far from me, turn all the Slytherin flags red and gold - Gryffindor colours. It was a full five minutes until they realised, and the shouts and screams of anger were perhaps even more amusing than the game itself.  
  
I did not join in the chants of 'Potter! Potter!' from our side, though I also frowned at the similar chant 'Potter, Potter, what a rotter!' from the Slytherins. When we won, I cheered with everyone else, but as far as I could see, it was just as much down to Lisa, the Seeker, as Potter. I knew she was hurt that he had not yet asked her out, but I was not surprised. Even he had some sense, I supposed, and he did take the Quidditch team surprisingly seriously. He played around with her emotions, I knew, but he clearly didn't plan to take her out and dump her like almost every other girl in the school. I knew it wasn't a good idea to tell her that, however - she seemed not to have realised, along with everyone else, that going out with Potter or Black meant heartbreak.  
  
Lessons went on, as did my relationship with Robert. He had given me a necklace with a silver lily on for my birthday, which had told me that he must love me to give me that. We still didn't have a particularly close or stimulating relationship; it seemed to be based more on friendship, as ever. Still, I didn't mind. It made it easier when people asked why I didn't have a boyfriend, and I did like him. Love perhaps wasn't the word... but was it ever, at our age? It wasn't like I was planning to marry him, so what harm did it do anyone?  
  
Juliet started going out with one of the Hufflepuffs in March, and I had taken great delight in interrogating her as she had me.  
  
"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine," I said innocently, causing her to throw a cushion at me.  
  
Rebecca sighed. "I can see I shall have to find myself a boyfriend too," she said. "Honestly, whatever happened to our don't need a man attitude?"  
  
"We don't need them," I said.  
  
"They need us," Juliet finished, giggling. "And they can be good fun."  
  
"Sometimes," Rebecca said and grinned.  
  
The most exciting thing happening at school, however, despite all the dating, was that we were given the opportunity to learn to Apparate. I had signed up for individual lessons with a Ministry official, and was finding it great fun. Every Saturday, I went out to Hogsmeade and, when I'd learnt the theory, practised Apparating and Disapparating distances that grew further each week. Madam Vance was apparently delighted with my progress. "You'll be able to take the test in the summer," she told me. I was thrilled.  
  
I finally got the letter to tell me that Petunia was engaged in late April - after her birthday, as I had guessed. It was not from my sister herself, but Mum - I had never corresponded with Petunia from school, as she refused to use owls. Now, apparently, was no different, although I was sure she was desperate to gloat. Personally, I saw nothing to gloat about. Vernon Dursley was fat, with no neck, had mean, piggy eyes and a bad sense of humour. In fact, he didn't have a sense of humour per se. He was also very boring. Mum informed me that Petunia was planning to tell him about me soon, but there was no telling how he would react. I was nervous. There were strict rules in the wizarding world about telling muggles about us - I only hoped I didn't get into trouble because of Dursley or Petunia. Probably he wouldn't believe her at all, I told myself, but the worry, and distress that my sister had finally gone from me into deadly dullness, kept me awake on the night that I heard.  
  
Sleeplessness, I had learnt young, was not a force to be reckoned with - so I decided to at least spend the time doing something useful. I stumbled down the stairs to the common room, groping around in the dark with difficulty. I dropped my stack of books onto the table and was about to cast a light spell when a movement by the fire made me freeze. I tiptoed a little nearer. Potter? What was he doing there?  
  
The firelight cast a dancing halo round his head, showing me his sleeping face. He seemed different like that - vulnerable, without Sirius Black and their little ring of admirers. He had lost, too, the arrogant, complacent smile from lessons, bullying Snape or from 'asking me out'; like he really wanted me. A small furrow in his brow suggested concentration in his dream - he mumbled something like 'no - no' and shifted but did not wake. I welcomed an opportunity to see him thus - free of sneers and bragging gestures - although I couldn't help noting - with a flicker of... surely not fondness? - that his hair remained effectively ruffled.  
  
It was strange, this sudden, unexpected endearment. I had maintained a dignified loathing of Potter since first year, and yet like this, a small boy it seemed, I began to piece together all the reasons why girls liked him. He was good looking, certainly, and I had never denied that he had talent at Quidditch and in lessons. With his trademark nasty smile gone, I understood that maybe he did have a capacity for more than hate.  
  
I always had a weak spot for getting caught up in my thoughts. I had tried to sit down and press on with the Charms essay I had been intending to finish, but as half an hour had crawled past with only one sentence added at the bottom of my last paragraph, I gave up and returned to my place near the fire. But I was careless in my watchfulness. As I gave him another affectionate glance, I was staggered - and horrified - to meet his hazel eyes, not dozing but fully awake and clearly amused.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
A/N: I feel sure Eihwaz is cackling here. Remember, she is responsible for all cliffies! Review! 


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: OK I really have nothing personal to say today... business as usual from Friday because school re-starts tomorrow... hooray. Thanks to Invisible Voice (it was SO not similar!), Child-of-Scorpio (I agree with you - patience!), EgyptsStar, KrisKG, chocoliciouz, Red-Emerald and RedRaspberry (ok, here is your chapter!). And to everyone who wants Eihwaz to die in some fashion... I have it all under control!  
  
Chapter 28  
  
"Good morning," he said, affecting weariness. "I don't suppose you'd mind telling me how long I've been here?"  
  
"Since half past two," I replied, glad of something to say, and falling straight into his trap.  
  
"Lumos," he muttered, shining a beam at the clock. "Crikey, we've been here two and a half hours. I, er - was I disturbing you?"  
  
"N-no," I said. "I was doing, uh, homework - that is to say, revision - practice... and I got up to - to see the clock - and I, uh... saw you..." Dammit, Lily! Why was I so awkward?  
  
"You could have woken me," he said, but it wasn't a reprimand. "I must have fallen asleep waiting for Sirius. Trust him not to wake me. Probably wanted me to look a complete prat in the morning."  
  
I said nothing.  
  
"Still, I'm awake now. Did you finish your revision, or practice, or whatever it was you were doing?"  
  
"Yes, thanks," I said stiffly. That was better. Regain my cool.  
  
He looked at me closely, then shook his head. "I'm going to try and get an hour's kip upstairs, anyway."  
  
"OK."  
  
"Well... goodnight, then," he said, looking bewildered now.  
  
"Night."  
  
I too went up to my dorm, and sat on my bed for the next hour wrestling with myself. What was going on? Had Potter just tried to have a normal conversation with me? Surely not. He'd only spoken to me on a few occasions before, first to insult me and then a couple of times to ask me out, clearly in an attempt to make me a laughing stock. So why when we were alone... And what had happened to me? Why hadn't I gone back upstairs when I'd seen him there? And what was all that, thinking he looked sweet? Potter was anything but sweet. He was vile. Anybody could look sweet asleep. In fact, he should be ashamed that he was nicer asleep than awake.  
  
At breakfast that morning, he smiled at me, and I blanked him. I knew he had tricked me into admitting that I had been watching him, but I wasn't in the mood to argue with him.  
  
"Were you out with Robert last night?"  
  
I stifled a yawn as I turned to Juliet. "What? Oh, no. No, I couldn't sleep, so I went down to the common room to do homework."  
  
"God, honestly, Lily. Homework when you could be sleeping? How much did you do? A whole essay?"  
  
"Oh, never mind," I said, more harshly than I had intended.  
  
Rebecca blinked.  
  
"Sorry, sorry," I groaned quickly. "I'm just preoccupied, that's all."  
  
"With Petunia, I'm guessing?"  
  
"Oh - oh no, I'd forgotten about that..." I buried my head in my hands. To my immense relief, they asked nothing further.  
  
For a time, I managed to push him out of my mind. Certainly it wasn't hard to still see his faults, and I soon hated him nearly as much as ever. I watched with narrowed eyes as he chatted up one girl after another, before finally choosing his next prey. He still showed off, and I still caught him making fun of Snape. Sure, I had more sympathy with his hatred now, but his cruel streak was... well, it was more than a streak, it seemed.  
  
But as May progressed, I found myself watching the Quidditch pitch out of the common room window when it was Gryffindor practice - watching him. This was utterly ludicrous! I told myself. Since when did admiring someone when they were asleep mean that you should fall for them? Especially when you had always hated them, and every reason you had ever had for that loathing was still present? I recoiled when I saw a motto on the front of a book in the library for emotion spells. 'There is nothing so easy to turn to deepest love as purest loathing.' That was not happening to me! I was merely attracted to him in an entirely superficial way because he had seemed cute asleep. It would pass.  
  
Robert knew that I was losing interest in him, though. No doubt he noticed as my attention wandered as we talked, as I withdrew when we kissed and when I was vague as to when we should meet up. He addressed the issue in a typically gentle fashion.  
  
"Lily, we always used to discuss boy and girl problems."  
  
I smiled. "Yeah..."  
  
"And I think we should continue."  
  
I glanced at him. "What? 'Hey Robert, there's this guy I fancy... what should I do?'"  
  
"Something like that, I imagine."  
  
I did a double take. "What?"  
  
"Well, there's clearly something wrong. Someone else, I surmised, though who I don't know."  
  
My stomach clenched. "No, there's not!"  
  
He eyed me. "Look, Lils, you can tell me. I know I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, but we're friends too and you may as well come clean. I'll stay around."  
  
I sighed and stared at my feet. "I didn't want to like someone else," I said helplessly.  
  
"I understand," he said. "It happens. We were never going to stay together forever."  
  
"Yes, but... do you mind if I don't tell you who it is?"  
  
"No. I don't think I want to know, in fact. I might be embarrassed."  
  
"Yes," I said heavily. "So I guess this is it for us?"  
  
He looked surprised. "Only if that's what you want."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, I'm happy to stay around. I'll back off if it goes well with this other person, but until then there's not much point."  
  
I was incredulous. "You're one of a kind, Robert."  
  
"Yeah, well..."  
  
"You want to be careful," I said. "You'll be Doormat Diggory if you carry on like that."  
  
He smiled sadly. "I'm used to it. My brother's Amos, remember."  
  
"But my sister's Petunia! OK, you don't know her, but she's awful! You have to stand up to people like that."  
  
He shrugged. "I've never really thought it worth the bother. It's all right, Lily, all I'm saying is do what you think best for you."  
  
I nodded slowly. "I'll tell you this much - it would be far better for me to keep well away from... him. I just... he's haunting me."  
  
A twinkle came into his eye. "Please, Lils, just tell me one thing. It's not Peeves, is it?"  
  
I had to laugh. 


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Sorry this is a day late, I got confused and thought I had to wait for Eihwaz to send me a B/N but apparently not. Just a note before the thank yous - has anyone seen Win a Date With Tad Hamilton? Because if you have... how ADORABLE is Pete (Topher Grace)? anyway. yes. Thank you to chocoliciouz (LOL), EgyptsStar (well. haha. um you may have to be patient for ALL of that... but see what you make of this. And no, no guy would really be like Robert. I would hate them anyway - too sickly sweet!), Red- Emerald, Invisible Voice (hmm), KrisKG (yes it was shorter) and PriBAngel.  
  
Eihwaz says she is sorry this chapter is shorter.  
  
Chapter 29  
  
I had come to a decision, at last. Clearly I had to accept that I no longer loathed Potter - might, in fact, have leanings towards liking him. But that did not mean that I could do anything about it. I had Robert, I had Juliet and Rebecca, I did not need Potter to come and wreck my life like he had done to so many others. So he would not know that I liked him, and nor would anybody else. There was no reason not to pretend that I still hated him, and in practice just ignore him. No reason whatsoever.  
  
We did not have exams this year, sandwiched between OWL and NEWT. Typically, I was in such a confused state of mind that I would have welcomed an opportunity to work and memorise facts that didn't really affect me. It just gave me time to brood.  
  
Juliet and Rebecca had also picked up that I was 'on the prowl' as they put it. "Look, Lils, it's obvious that you're wrapped up in someone, and I doubt it's Robert... so just tell us who."  
  
I shook my head. "No. It's no-one."  
  
"Well, let's see. We can eliminate Potter, Black and Pettigrew... could be Lupin..."  
  
"How do you know it's not Potter?" I said before I could stop myself.  
  
They laughed. "Lils, we're not idiots. Nor will we be distracted that easily."  
  
If only they knew...  
  
To no-one's surprise, Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup again. Every year, one other house would claim to have a team stronger than Potter's, and every year he proved them wrong. I felt a strange sense of proudness as I watched him do his customary swoop round the pitch after his speech, and then I shook myself. Forget him, ignore him, I told myself. Thank heavens it was nearly summer. Then I could truly forget him.  
  
The end of year feast was as good as ever. I piled food onto my plate and chatted to my friends - I could hardly believe I was going home later. Rest from Potter, it might be, but it was also incarceration with Petunia. Oh well. I'd survived it many times before. And it was the last summer holidays I'd ever have. Next summer I'd be getting a job, maybe even moving out of our house... and maybe Petunia would move out too. Sooner. She was planning to get married in the autumn, purely to spite me, I imagined, so that I'd have to live with her for one more summer. Juliet laughed, but she didn't seem to disagree. My sister should have been a witch - she would have fitted the muggle idea far better than me.  
  
Between main course and dessert, Professor Dumbledore stood up. The hall fell silent.  
  
"Just a quick word before you all tuck into the last course," he said, "which I know is more interesting than me... but anyway. Congratulations to all those who have just sat their OWLs and NEWTs, as well as the dreaded end of years lower down the school." We all laughed. "I've already said thank you to the staff, so I won't bother you with that, except to say we shall of course miss Professor Bulb, our much loved Herbology teacher - she will be replaced by a Professor Sprout in September." We all applauded dutifully. "And now, as is customary, I will announce next year's head boy and girl. Fourth years, you will hear about prefects in the post. Now, this year's pair may or may not come as a surprise. Actually, I predict that one will not surprise you at all. One may quite astound you, but as I say every year, I have to choose out of all of you and it is difficult. I have my reasons."  
  
Head girl and boy... I had forgotten about that. I wondered who it would be as he did his traditional dramatic pause.  
  
"Next year's head girl will be... Lily Evans! Please stand up, Lily, just in case a few people don't know who you are!"  
  
I was stunned, but stumbled to my feet with a shy smile amidst thunderous applause and cheering. I began to understand how people felt when they won sporting events. So who would be head boy? My eyes swivelled round the hall. A Slytherin? Hopefully not. Could be a Hufflepuff...  
  
"Clearly, Lily is the unsurprising one," Dumbledore continued, chuckling. "My choice for head boy is perhaps more unusual." As he held us in suspense again, I focused on the Ravenclaw table. It could be Robert. After all, it would be surprising, as he never stood out very much, but... "I have every confidence that Quidditch will not suffer due to this move, despite Professor McGonagall's most heartfelt concerns - James Potter, could you also stand up?"  
  
I was horrified. Later, I was convinced that I must have fainted, but Juliet assured me that I did not. All that happened was my eyes glazed over and my grin became more fixed. My mind went into overdrive, but of course, nobody else could see that.  
  
This was terrible. How did Potter get to be Head Boy? I vaguely heard Sirius Black shouting the same question. He was clever, of course, and good at Quidditch... popular too... but he was a bully, a prankster and entirely irresponsible! All right, I no longer loathed him, but that didn't mean he was suitable Head Boy material... or was I just biased? Dumbledore said he had good reason, so I would have to trust that.  
  
That didn't help me, much, though! My plan for getting over Potter had been entirely based on ignoring him and forgetting him. If I had to spend hours a week working with him, how was I supposed to do that? Worse, how was I supposed to conceal it from him? It would be no more helpful if I actutally hated him, I supposed, but... Oh, God. Holy crap, as Robert would say.  
  
Gradually, I refocused on the Great Hall. Juliet and Rebecca were making comments about 'Poor Lily, head girl with him!' but they didn't know the half of it. Potter himself was bright scarlet, and it wasn't hard to see that Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were ribbing him. My rigid smile relaxed a bit in amusement. Served him right for making such a bad boy image. But really... how was I supposed to get through the next year?  
  
'Worry about it next year,' said a voice in my head.  
  
'Good idea' said another voice.  
  
'But how?' screamed a third.  
  
It looked like there was not a lot I could do now, anyway. I decided to try and listen to the first two.  
  
"Evans! Hey, Evans!" I heard Potter calling after me as we all boarded the Hogwarts Express the next day, and hid hurriedly.  
  
"Poor, poor you," said Juliet in a heartfelt way.  
  
"Yeah..." Rebecca joined in. "Potter, head boy? Dumbledore's off his rocker."  
  
"I'll cope," I said bleakly.  
  
"Course you will, you're Lily, you always do... but still."  
  
I stretched out in my seat and stared into space. Head girl... my parents would be thrilled. So would I be, if only... well, all right, I was thrilled. I just wished it wasn't so darned complicated.  
  
But they were right. I had coped with worse. I could do this. I lifted my head and grinned. "But still what? It'll be fine; trust me." 


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Hello again... I actually have very little to say except to anyone who actually reads the reviews of this story, yes, i DO know 'hong-a-long-a- dong'. lol. Anyway thank you to Red-Emerald (yep, certainly lovey-dovey mush coming up!), Child-of-Scorpio (don't worry about the last chapter, and what did you want to say about James as Head Boy?), RedRaspberry (I'm glad too lol), Invisible Voice (I am about to reload that chapter), he who cant write (no no, they WILL get together and soon!), Sal Girl (well, sorry. L/J action coming up but actually the rating will be higher for one, optional, chapter. Sorry if that annoys you), KrisKG, atiya (no, Eihwaz is my evil side... lol only kidding. we're two people, author and beta!) and hong-a-long-a-dong (long review, excellent. more l/j coming and yes how could i NOT know what you like and dislike? especially that film!) Oh and thanks to Egypt'sStar who emailed her review direct.  
  
Oh one last point - anyone who doesn't like James as Head Boy, sorry. It said in book one that he was and I am sticking to that. Over to Eihwaz!  
  
B/N:subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except First Light of Eos Very long chappie today, you should be proud! And not too big a cliffie either *curses* I'm trying to work very hard on an IMPORTANT CHAPTER coming soon *grins* So be nice to me! Oh yeah, Edible Moose is wonderful *cheers* Oh and hong-a-long-a-dong - I don't give a damn about Sirius! I spose you mean Sev... *salivas over everything nearby in an unnattractive way*  
  
A/N: Yes i DID add that last ** to Eihwaz's B/N! :D  
  
Chapter 30  
  
I was right, my parents were thrilled. For some reason, even now I was seventeen they still insisted on coming to pick me up from King's Cross. I think they were certain that now I was a witch, I lacked the practical sense to find my way around London. I think it also worried them that they didn't know what happened on the other side of the barrier. I had never let them come through - parents and legal guardians could come through, even if they were muggles, but I hadn't wanted them to. God alone knew what would happen when they came out, Dad probably remarking in a loud voice how clever it was... But I could tell them I was Head Girl, even in Muggle public.  
  
"Oh, that's brilliant, darling!" Mum exclaimed predictably.  
  
Dad beamed. "Little Lily, head girl," he mused. "Whew..."  
  
I took my Apparating test two weeks later, and passed with flying colours. It was the only sort of magic I was allowed to do outside school, and I couldn't help taking advantage. Juliet agreed that I could come to her house one morning before Vernon Dursley was coming round, and Apparate back just in time to say 'hello'. The look on his face - and Petunia's - when I appeared out of thin air behind him was truly hilarious.  
  
"Vernon!" I exclaimed sweetly. "Thank goodness you've not left. I was worried I might miss you - else I would have caught the bus. Hope you don't mind - must dash!" I leaned forward as if to peck him on the cheek and Disapparated again with a crack, but only out into the living room. I heard Petunia screaming at Mum, and five minutes later my parents came into the lounge trying not to laugh.  
  
"Lily, that was extremely cruel!"  
  
"But hysterically funny, you must admit," I said.  
  
"Yes... yes... but really darling, you shouldn't. It is worrying, the silly things you people can do."  
  
I Apparated excitedly round the room, causing Mum to cover her eyes and say "Lily, please!"  
  
"Sorry," I said. "But I have to have some vent for my magic over the summer, you must see."  
  
The summer went more quickly when I could get to see my friends so easily, and it was good fun winding up Petunia and Vernon Dursley. She would pay for calling me a freak. The last time I saw him before I returned to school, I said kindly, "It's all right, Vern, next summer I'll be able to do normal magic - I won't need to do so much Apparating. Potions and transfiguration might be more... interesting for you."  
  
And then I left, bursting into peals of laughter at his face.  
  
"Well, it sounds like someone had a good summer, anyway," Rebecca said as I recounted the story on platform 9 and 3/4.  
  
"Oh, yeah, the best," I said. "Listen, I'm really sorry, I've got to sit in the front compartment like in fifth year... I'll try and get away as soon as possible."  
  
"We'll save you seats."  
  
"OK."  
  
Professor McGonagall was waiting in the carriage already. "Ah, hello Miss Evans. Have you seen Potter?"  
  
"No," I said. "Sorry, Professor."  
  
"I expect he's causing mayhem somewhere... ah, Potter! Good morning."  
  
"Talkin' bout me, Professor?"  
  
She smiled, and I felt a flicker of my old irritation at him. "Yes, as a matter of fact. Now, are you two clear about what you need to tell the prefects?"  
  
We both nodded - I had received my instructions by owl, and I presumed he had too.  
  
"Good. Well, I'll leave you to it, then." She Apparated away.  
  
"Are we allowed to do that too?" Potter joked.  
  
"I wish," I said, before frowning.  
  
He turned away, but I saw his amused smile. Careful, Lily! I admonished myself. He was sharp - but I could be sharper. He would not guess.  
  
The first night back was not a problem. Potter and I were doing separate duties, and we didn't speak to each other more than necessary. Juliet and Rebecca marvelled at my calmness. "Only Lily could work beside her worst enemy," Juliet commented.  
  
I laughed. "We've barely spoken, yet."  
  
It began to deteriorate when we had to meet and discuss what we had been doing. Sirius Black seemed to keep turning up, and although he seemed just as annoyed as I was, I had to feign anger with him to keep with my old attitude. It did not bode well for our headship. Nor did it help that he kept catching me off guard, making me laugh or say careless things.  
  
"Evans, you don't half have mood swings," he remarked once when we were patrolling at night. It was my least favourite duty, partly because it meant spending a long time with him, and partly because I found it incredibly embarrassing interrupting couples that were... busy.  
  
I shrugged but didn't reply.  
  
"And don't you think we should call each other Lily and James now?"  
  
I glared at him. "No."  
  
He smiled. "All right then. How about Tigerlily? It seems appropriate."  
  
"Piss off," I said.  
  
"Tut, what would Mother say?"  
  
I reached over and slapped him.  
  
"Ow! God, Evans, I was joking!"  
  
"Serves you right," I said, but I felt guilty immediately.  
  
"Well you can jolly well clear North tower yourself tonight," he said.  
  
"What?"  
  
I had come to appreciate him for making our presence known to each couple and just letting me dock points. Now it seemed he knew that I dreaded doing it.  
  
"Only joking. But if you ever do that again," he said, "I'll make you." He pushed open the door. "Good evening, everyone, I'm afraid Evans and I are on patrol. Harris, Griffiths, Johns, Bones, Abercrombie..."  
  
One boy stopped as he made for the door. "Do you not think it hypocritical that you're up here almost every other night, Potter?"  
  
"No," he said coolly, "because I'm not, any more. Double points taken from Slytherin, please, Evans." I smothered a laugh and made the note.  
  
"I saw that," he said, good humour returned. "So why won't you ever laugh properly?"  
  
"Because you're an arrogant prat," I said cheerfully. "South tower next, yes?"  
  
He didn't say much else until we got there, then began his usual run through names. "Malfoy, Parkinson, Shacklebolt, Finnigan, Podmore, Black? Padfoot, I told you I was out on patrol tonight!"  
  
"So I forgot," said a sheepish voice. "Or... for bravery can I have points awarded?"  
  
"No," I interrupted, worried that Potter might agree.  
  
"Evans is right," Potter said, surprising me. "Just go, Sirius, and please, listen next time!"  
  
He shuddered a minute later. "We always agreed we didn't want to see each other doing that," he said, and for once I let myself laugh properly.  
  
My forgetting about Potter was not going at all well. I think I was masking it very well - certainly he hadn't guessed, and neither had Juliet or Rebecca - but inside it hurt more and more each time I had to pretend to hate him. I was discovering that maybe he wasn't just all right asleep - he could actually be very amusing, and he was a fair and responsible head boy. He even seemed less conceited these days. I began to understand why Dumbledore had chosen him as Head Boy - and that was saying something. Despite my... feelings... for him, I had still seen his faults and wondered.  
  
Yet now it was more clear.  
  
"First Quidditch match tomorrow," he reminded me one day in mid-October. "I shall expect to see you running onto the pitch at the end."  
  
"You must be joking, Potter. I leave as soon as possible. It's just a game."  
  
"But you like the Snitch, at least."  
  
I did a double take. "Did you give me that?"  
  
He pulled his innocent face.  
  
"Potter! That terrified my sister two summers ago!"  
  
"Good. So as repayment will you come onto the pitch?"  
  
I crossed my arms. "I'm not coming onto the pitch, but if you win I'll..."  
  
"Go out with me?"  
  
My heart leapt but I frowned. "No. I'll... I'll..."  
  
"Chaperone the next Gryffindor practice?"  
  
"Why would you want me to do that?"  
  
He smiled. "Could be fun."  
  
"Well... all right," I said grudgingly. "But I'm not flying. Just watching."  
  
He rolled his eyes but nodded.  
  
"And only if you win."  
  
"Course," he said. "But is that any condition, given our track record?"  
  
I did not mention our deal to anyone else as I sat with Juliet and Rebecca, watching the match. We tended to gossip through them, but this time I was keeping an eye on the score as well. "I don't know how you're supposed to tell who any of them are," Rebecca was moaning as we watched the sky.  
  
"Well the one with the Quaffle's usually Potter," said Juliet, "and you can see who the Keepers are... but apart from that I agree it's impossible."  
  
"The ones in red are Gryffindors," I pointed out.  
  
"Well, duh," said Juliet. "Oh, I don't know, it's a stupid game. So how're things going with Robert now, Lils?"  
  
I shrugged. "All right. We don't really see each other so much now, but..."  
  
"You never saw each other that much!"  
  
"No, well, it doesn't help that his idea of a great date is an Astronomy lesson."  
  
"And you don't agree? Lily, is this you?"  
  
I laughed bashfully. "Well, I don't know, it's just not very... exciting, is it?"  
  
"I had no idea you were so out for excitement. I thought that was what your temper was for."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Sorry. But really..."  
  
I was about to reply when I heard a collective gasp from the crowd. I glanced up - one of the Gryffindor players was falling. I didn't need to be able to see to know who it was, and I was the first out of my seat. I pushed past my friends and ran down the steps onto the pitch just as he hit the ground with a dull thud.  
  
"James!"  
  
Professor Dumbledore was only a step behind me as I crouched beside my old enemy. He appeared to be unconscious. "James, wake up!" I knelt over him, watching for any reaction. "Come on, James, just open your eyes..."  
  
"Madam Pomfrey's here, Lily," Dumbledore said quietly. I backed away a little, but continued to hover beside him. I knew this was a public way to show my change of heart, but... what if he died?  
  
"James - James, please..."  
  
I felt Sirius Black drop to his knees beside me. "Hey, Prongs mate, wake up!" At last his eyelids fluttered. "Do you know," he murmured, "that's the first time you've not called me Potter, Lily." And then he passed out again.  
  
Rebecca and Juliet were shocked, of course. "Lily, it looked like you were his... his girlfriend, or something!"  
  
"Oh, don't be silly. I just, well, it looked like a nasty fall. And he is Head Boy."  
  
Juliet was clearly sceptical. "But you were there before Black! And he and Potter are inseparable, you know that."  
  
I rolled my eyes, but it was true. I had given far too much away - to him as well as everyone else. 


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: My A/N is actually at the bottom today. But here is Eihwaz.... grits teeth B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! ...except First Light of Eos  
  
A/Interruption: Yes, hallo, First Light of Eos... do you really hate the story now or have you just disappeared?! If the latter I guess you won't be reading this.... never mind...  
  
B/N continued: Huh! If Lourdaise is going to insult me, she could as least learn to do it properly... no that is NOT an invitation, dear! the verb is 'to salivate'! makes disapproving tongue click Anyways, my favourite quote of hers this week is: 'I am a MAN!' (said in indignant voice)   
  
A/Interruption: I would just like to point out that I was dressing up... but mascara WAS still necessary! There was no need to question it...  
  
B/N continued: ... and Invisible Voice - applauds you are right, there is definitely not enough Sev!!! sighs oh yeah plus I must pimp Lourdaise's fic on FictionPress.net - go read! it's called 'The Echo of the Broken Vase'...  
  
Chapter 31  
  
He stayed in the hospital wing for a week after the fall, but I didn't go to visit him. There was enough gossip circulating about us as it was.  
  
Professor McGonagall stopped me on my way out of Transfiguration on the afternoon he was allowed out. "Miss Evans, would you mind awfully doing a patrol tonight? I know it's not quite three weeks since your last yet, but Mr Pringle has been complaining..."  
  
"Of course, Professor."  
  
"Thank you... I take it you don't mind being on your own? I know Potter's officially left the hospital wing, but I don't think he should be staying out all night... you can cope, can't you?"  
  
I smiled. "I should hope so."  
  
But night time patrols were quite creepy alone, I decided, shivering, as I walked down the charms corridor for the umpteenth time.  
  
"Hi ya," said a voice beside me. I jumped about a foot in the air, but had to fight a smile when I saw who it was.  
  
"Potter! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I believe we're meant to be patrolling the corridors. Isn't that what you're doing? Or should I dock points from Gryffindor for your night time wandering?"  
  
I turned my head away haughtily. "You know perfectly well I'm patrolling, Potter."  
  
"Then I'm joining you. So tell me, why am I back to Potter now I'm back on two feet?"  
  
I tutted and ignored him. "How did you find me?"  
  
"I have ways. Now come on, Evans, admit it - you didn't want me to die last week."  
  
"I don't wish death on anyone."  
  
"Not even Snivellus? That would be one less follower for Voldemort..."  
  
I didn't answer.  
  
"No, OK, but you were worried about me, weren't you?"  
  
I shrugged. "You fell fifty feet, I'd be worried about anyone."  
  
"Well," he said, "if that was really all it was then perhaps next time, if there is one, you could let Sirius get down first? Only he was quite put out. On the other hand, if you had any particular reason for worry...?" He gave me his special 'You're-going-to-love-me-whether-you-want-to-or-not' smile and waited.  
  
"Well, I'd hate to lose the Head Boy," I said at last.  
  
He stepped into a classroom and I automatically followed.  
  
"There's no-one in here, Potter." He shut the door behind me.  
  
"Then we're agreed on something. Look, Lily, I intend getting the whole truth here. And you know that I already know it. So just let me hear it."  
  
Damn, of course he knew. The whole school knew. But if I let myself confess, he'd just laugh at me, wouldn't he?  
  
"Look, Potter, I wasn't thinking last week. Let's just go back and forget it. Go back to disliking each other in peace."  
  
"You forget, Lily - I never disliked you."  
  
I raised my eyebrows.  
  
"I didn't! Maybe for a short while in second year, but apart from that... I was indifferent to you as much as possible, but since fifth..."  
  
"Oh. I always assumed you were joking when you asked me out."  
  
James's jaw dropped. "You thought I was joking? No, Lily, no. It may have sounded like that, but only because I didn't want anyone else to see."  
  
"But why not?"  
  
"Oh, come on, I wasn't supposed to get hung up on one girl. I was supposed to have a whole string of girls hung up on me!"  
  
I couldn't help it - I laughed.  
  
He looked surprised. "I thought that was what you hated most about me?"  
  
"Yes, but... just the way you said it... so complacent..." I trailed off. "Never mind."  
  
He smiled and shrugged. "So, seriously... last week?"  
  
I looked at the floor. "OK, OK... I was worried about you... as a... friend."  
  
"A... friend?"  
  
I said nothing, but I could feel his hazel eyes burning into me. "Look at me, Lily."  
  
I didn't - couldn't - move. He took a step closer.  
  
"Do you like me, Lily?"  
  
I swallowed. "But I can't!" I burst out. "I can't, because it'll cost me my friends, my reputation, Robert... and you can't really want me. I'll just be the next in a line, and I'll be laughed at - 'Who does Lily Evans think she is, the girl to tame James Potter? Not likely'!"  
  
"Your friends should want you to be happy. And haven't you noticed that my so-called 'line' has disappeared since summer? Remus thought... that is... I mean, he's more sensitive than... and he reckoned you'd prefer it if I seemed... and besides, the others were easy. I wouldn't spend six years trying to get a girl and then ditch her!"  
  
"But how do I know that?"  
  
"Take my word for it. And my word is good, whatever else you may think, or have thought of me."  
  
I wiped the tears off my cheek.  
  
"You do like me, don't you?" His voice was low.  
  
I bowed my head mutely. His hand gently tilted my chin back up and he stared into my eyes.  
  
"So kiss me," he murmured.  
  
No sooner had out lips touched, however, than a voice cackled loudly behind us. "Who'd have thought it? Mr Potter and goody goody Miss Evans - the head boy and girl, out at night and kissing! Wait 'til Professor McGonagall hears! Ooh, she'll be FURIOUS!"  
  
I had never seen James so angry. Cold and taunting, certainly, and irritated, but never so clearly blinded with red-hot fury. "PEEVES!" he roared, spinning away from me, his wand immediately at hand. I could hardly make out any of the curses and jinxes pouring out of his mouth, but clearly they were working.  
  
"Stop!" Peeves was squealing, cowering in mid-air.  
  
"You must be joking," James growled. "I'd curse a wizard who was like you, so why not a poltergeist?"  
  
"Be - because..."  
  
"Get out of my sight, Peeves, and I'm warning you - one word to ANY teacher or ANYONE, and I will track you down and make you wish you'd made your presence known earlier."  
  
"Yes, Potter," Peeves said quickly. James had clearly given him quite a fright, but still there was an untrustworthy glint in his eye.  
  
"I'm serious, Peeves - I hate the Dark Arts but that doesn't mean I'm past an Unforgivable on a poltergeist. Now GO!"  
  
Peeves, wide-eyed, zoomed out of the classroom. I don't think he was used to being threatened by students.  
  
James slammed the door behind him and took several deep breaths. "I'm so sorry," he began.  
  
"Don't be. I, um, didn't realise it was possible to hex him."  
  
"No. It's not easy. I read somewhere that you have to feel pure hatred for a poltergeist in order to hex him - otherwise they'd have all evaporated long ago. Course, you can't kill them."  
  
I smiled, but an awkward silence fell between us.  
  
"Shall we, er, get on with the patrol?" I suggested at last.  
  
"Yes. Yes, you can do the remaining classrooms, I'll do the towers. I know you hate them."  
  
He wanted us to go separate ways already, my brain screamed. I had let him kiss me so I was finished with now. How utterly, utterly stupid was I?  
  
"Fine." I turned to go, trying to hide my hurt.  
  
"Will you meet me up North afterwards?"  
  
My fists unclenched. "What?"  
  
"When you've finished the classrooms, I mean. Would you... I mean, will you meet me up North Tower? Please. There'll be no Peeves, I promise," he added, laughing softly.  
  
"But Professor McGonagall...?"  
  
"Won't be out this evening. She thinks you're on patrol."  
  
"And Pringle?"  
  
"Is a Squib. Any door can be sealed against him." James' eyes glittered. "So?"  
  
I was not the type of girl who went up North Tower, one half of me was saying firmly. Certainly not with James Potter. But the other half of me looked round the classroom, at the door and finally back at him. Oh, why not be reckless for once in my life? "Yeah, OK," I mumbled.  
  
I did not hurry through the rest of the classrooms. The last thing I wanted was to get there first and be waiting, not knowing if he would turn up. That would be embarrassing, not knowing what to do. I stopped in a girls' bathroom to tidy my hair and make up and finally, when half an hour had passed, I made my way to the North Tower.  
  
He rose out of the shadows as I stepped through the door; my heart jumped then began to hammer.  
  
"Lily." His voice was low as I shut the door behind me. I heard the fizz of a sealing spell click into action and realised what I was doing. It was too late to turn back now, that was for certain, but I didn't know if I wanted to or not.  
  
He took my hands loosely in his and leaned forward to kiss me gently. Only our mouths, not our bodies, touched.  
  
"Lily," he murmured again.  
  
I stepped closer to him instinctively, though my action did not bring us close; his hands went to my waist, then he himself moved in and he kissed me again, but differently. This time I could feel his need, rather than calmness; it was like fire, not air, and it surprised me. I had realised that he might think me pretty, but I hadn't realised that there was anything about me he could desire that much. His tongue captured mine, and I felt him begin to lean me backwards. I felt precarious, bending back under him, but his arm came under my shoulders to stop me from falling. I had never realised how strong he was, but now every part of him seemed powerful, from his mouth bruising mine to his legs, keeping both of us balanced. I, by comparison, was weak; weak with dizziness, dizzy with need. It was like a key was turning inside me. I had always been a reserved person, modelled into a prim, proper girl by my parents who had been concerned by my more choleric side when I was small. It had not been hard to crush, and it had not resurfaced since except in my temper - until now. I had never sensed it in anyone else, but now I felt the same passion in James Potter, and I was responding.  
  
What was scariest was that he knew. I could feel that, too, as he kissed me more and more forcefully. Suddenly he tore himself away and went to the balcony itself, where he stood looking out over the grounds. I could hear that his breathing was ragged.  
  
Feeling cold where he had been, I ventured forward. "What's wrong?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing."  
  
But I knew. I knew what had been running through his mind that had made him turn away so sharply. I felt it too, an overwhelming yearning, almost a greed...  
  
He was gripping the balcony rail so hard that his knuckles glowed white.  
  
"James..." I murmured again, moving forward and laying a hand on his shoulder. Ifelt his body convulse as I stepped up against him.  
  
"Don't," he pleaded, still not looking at me.  
  
I didn't move. "Why?"  
  
"You know why!"  
  
"I mean why not."  
  
It took a minute for what I'd said to sink in - I saw his eyes widen, but he did nothing. At last he chuckled hoarsely. "Lily, I don't..."  
  
He turned to look at me, and even I was unnerved by the hunger I saw in his eyes. I glanced at the floor, and felt him begin to revolve away again. I reached up and made him look back at me. As my blazing green gaze met his own hazel, he gave a deep groan.  
  
"Lily, stop... I don't have that much self-control."  
  
But I didn't stop. I began to pace slowly backwards, not breaking eye contact. At last his urgency won over, and he lunged forwards and slammed me into his chest.  
  
"Just remember," he said firmly as he lowered me to the ground, "this was not my fault!"  


  
  
A/N: Ok. Now I have an apology - I think this went WAAAAAAAAAAAY too quickly. But it didn't seem to work any other way. In my defence, the tension had been building up, and the point is that Lily is never reckless but James allows her to be. Also, you have all been demanding more L/J - so there is the ultimate! Lol.  
  
IMPORTANT! Next week, there will be TWO chapters updated. The first will be an R-RATED continuation of this chapter by Eihwaz. The second will be the continuation of the story. OK? So you can skip. And so I don't want any complaints that I didn't warn you!  
  
Right. Anyway, thanks to Egypt's Star, Child-of-Scorpio, cherryblossom, PriBAngel, Suji, Invisible Voice (the lack of Sev is not depressing!), zing- zing-zing-zing-bah (of course it is spun out and cliché!), Red-Emerald, distant34 (:D), Twilight66, KrisKG, RedRaspberry, Katrina Swan and atiya (what is funny? our story or our AN/BN fights? lol) Keep reviewing (AND COULD ZING-ZING-ZING-ZING-BAH KINDLY REMEMBER TO BE CAREFUL WHAT SHE SAYS THIS TIME?!) 


	32. Chapter 32 RRATED

B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! I. Cannot. Believe. I. Wrote. This. winces How on earth did Lourdaise talk me into it??? Actually, seeing as I wrote it this should be an A/N, not a B/N, but oh well. That would get too confusing. But yes, Red-Emerald, it is the sex scene muahahahaha!!! And my very first piece of heterosexual, consensual, non-bondage smut. Aren't you proud? smirks Yayayayayay and thanks to Invisible Voice for encouragement, and her and chocoliciouz for their praiseworthy Sev support. Yup, I love Severitus: originator of the Severitus Challenge!!! How could I not know of her??? applauds your good taste  
  
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS R-RATED!!! IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SMUT, PLEASE CONTINUE STRAIGHT TO THE NEXT CHAPTER, WHICH IS BACK TO PG-13. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!  
  
Chapter 32  
  
Our mouths met again, tongues delving deeper as our blinding, desperate need for one another grew. I could not breathe; did not want to. We were exploring, tasting, claiming one another, each new discovery strengthening the hunger that drove us on. How could I ever have imagined wanting this with anyone else? The strength of our desire for each other was breathtaking, like a sweeping wave swallowing me, dragging me down.  
  
Light-headed, I was powerfully aware of all the places our bodies touched, from James' arms wrapped tightly around me to my breasts crushed against the flat expanse of his chest. The knowledge caused an agreeable shiver to run through me, but it was not enough.  
  
Disentangling my arms, I reached for James' collar, unfastening the uppermost clasp of his robe. He reciprocated with a feverish urgency and suddenly our hands were flying everywhere, fingers fumbling over buttons and catches, as the need for closer contact, for the sensation of skin on skin consumed us. A small part of my brain noted the chill of the flagstones against my back, but the voice was distant and soon silenced as we rolled over onto the pile of discarded clothes.  
  
Without warning James broke away, propping himself up with his elbows as his hands held me firmly in place. His eyes raked over me from head to toe, and suddenly I felt mercilessly exposed. My skin prickled as his gaze passed over it.  
  
Then he looked up, and all doubts left my mind as those smouldering, starving eyes devoured me.  
  
I gasped as he lowered his head and swirled his tongue in the hollow just beneath my left ear, then left a trail of harsh kisses along my jawline. His hands ran in circles over my sides, rough caresses making my stomach flutter as he sucked and mouthed his way down my neck and across my collarbone.  
  
Then warm, wet heat engulfed my nipple and I gave an involuntary moan, arching upwards as an abrasive tongue teased and curled. As the sensation became almost painful, I clutched at James' shoulders and he transferred his attentions to the other breast. I trailed my fingers over his shoulder blades and he exhaled sharply, then dragged his tongue down from the crevice of my chest across my stomach.  
  
I had never considered the navel a particularly carnal area of my body, but somehow the touch of James' mouth on it in his quest to taste as much of me as possible made me shiver. I felt a sudden wetness between my legs as his hands massaged the insides of my thighs, firmly parting them.  
  
I ran my own hands through the tousled strands of his hair, caressing his head and neck. When he reached the source of the wetness, I fisted them desperately as the whole of my lower body seemed to pivot upside down and dissolve in a rush of dizziness, my senses overloaded by his touch and his kiss and the feel of his body stretched taut against mine. My breathing came raggedly as he rubbed and kneaded, crooking his fingers to make me writhe beneath him.  
  
I felt his arousal press against my leg and sudden sharp realisation came flooding into my pleasure-dazed brain. Lunging up, I grabbed at his arms, using a strength I did not know I possessed to hold him back.  
  
He looked up, confusion and hurt and fear laced through his lust-clouded gaze.  
  
"James!"  
  
He ground against me, but I refused to let the rush of pleasure distract me.  
  
"James... I want this as much as you do. But I'm not ready to make little Jameses yet!"  
  
He stared for a second, then flushed, grinning. With a muttered 'sorry', he began a frantic search through the pockets of the robes we were lying on.  
  
When he kneeled up, he had a wand in his hand. Straightening, he cast a few contraceptive spells that I'd only ever read about before. I took the opportunity to look him over.  
  
He was perfect. Lightly muscled, slightly tanned and smooth skinned, his dishevelled hair fell in front of his eyes in the most alluring manner I had ever seen. And further down...  
  
My breath hitched slightly in mingled apprehension and anticipation. He was so... large.  
  
His eyes followed mine and he grinned again, then carelessly threw his wand away and leaned down to capture my lips with renewed hunger, not giving me time to breathe. As his hands lingered over the places where desire was most intense, I forgot about fear and let the lust engulf me. Slowly, his leg nudged my thighs apart. Then without warning, he dropped forward and slid easily inside me.  
  
At first I was overwhelmed, and simply did nothing for a few moments, trying to adjust to the strange yet somehow satisfying feeling of him inside me. Then, very slowly, he began to move.  
  
Oh Merlin! This was so... right. What I wanted. What I needed. The rhythm sped up, but it wasn't enough. I began to tilt my hips against his, in time with his motion.  
  
Thankfully he took this as encouragement, and kissed me harder as he thrust in, forcefully. I gasped sharply, but it was from astonishment, not discomfort. Exhilaration flooded through me, tingling in my veins as my stomach turned to water.  
  
His thrusts connected with some chord inside of me, again and again, and the cold, dark surroundings of the North Tower seemed to melt away; there was just he and I, together in an expanse of nothing, drowning in a sea of pleasure.  
  
Eventually the world returned to normal and I felt him pull out of me slowly, his panting matching my own uneven breathing. We stayed curled together, listening to each others' heart beats. There was no need to speak, nothing we needed to say that could be said in words.  
  
I whimpered slightly as he broke away, missing the heat of his skin on mine. But all he did was pick up our scattered clothes.  
  
We half-dressed each other to protect from the cold of the night air, then pressed together again in one anothers' arms. I snuggled closer, burying my face in his neck. He gave a hazy, rumbling chuckle and began to run his fingers languorously through my hair. The motion was soothing; I felt my heart rate slowing, slowing... the last thing I sensed was his lips touching my closed eyelids.  
  
B/N: ...and now you can shoot me. 


	33. Chapter 33

B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! Hmm. Brain has been exhausted with too much smut. Cannot type coherently. Umm... Oh yeah, huggles to chocoliciouz and Invisible Voice as before. Plus, yay! Bubble fetish coming up! grins  
  
Lourdaise and I seem to be experiencing technical problems at the moment, which is why this is (a) late, (b) without an A/N and (c) probably formatted wonkily. Apologies! (Plus apologies to you too Lourdaise for updating without you, but otherwise it might not have happened!) Anyways, thanks to Oliverwoodschic, Katrina Swan, cherryblossom (yup! Lourdaise writes, I create cliffies. smirks ...not that I'm obsessed. Oh no), atiya, distant34 (how... interesting), kate (I don't think Lils expected it either!), PriBAngel, Burner the Echidna, Invisible Voice, Red-Emerald, chocoliciouz, mrs. hunt, RedRaspberry (well, it has been building up for a long time), KrisKG and zxudle (you love us? Which one? grins ...well, we've updated now...)  
  
Thanks for so many reviews! Now, on with the chapter...  
  
Chapter 33  
  
I awoke unsure whether or not I was still asleep. I could feel that my head was resting against something warm, and I could hear the thud-thud of a heart beating, but I was sure I was dreaming. I opened my eyes and turned my head - there was the black of the school robes, albeit open from the neck down, and there... was the Head Boy's badge. I shivered as I sat up gingerly. Did this mean that I hadn't dreamt what had happened? My own robes were closed but not fastened. I glanced down.  
  
James Potter was asleep again, looking very similar to he had that night I had come across him last year, except now a smile played on his lips instead of a crease in his brow.  
  
He stirred as I shifted away from him but did not wake. It was still dark, although the sun was beginning to rise, shedding a purple hue over us. I took out my wand and did a time spell. Just after five o' clock. I leaned over and shook him gently.  
  
"James."  
  
He opened his eyes slowly. "Where - ah. Lily."  
  
I blushed as he grinned. "We ought to be going, you know, back."  
  
He nodded and stood up easily, fastened his robes with another grin at me, and held out a hand to haul me to my feet. I tried in vain to tidy my hair, and he leaned down and retrieved a mirror from his bag.  
  
"Here."  
  
It was precisely the thing to shatter the tension. "James, why do you have a compact mirror in your bag?"  
  
He laughed. "It's not how it looks," he protested. "It's a method of communication. Not just a mirror."  
  
"Right... I believe you." I fixed my hair with a simple spell. "That'll do... I'll have a shower before breakfast."  
  
"I'll come," he said.  
  
I stared. "No you won't - boys can't come in the girls' dorm. And that's where the showers are."  
  
He looked astonished. "You mean you don't use the prefects' bathroom?"  
  
"No," I admitted. "They overwhelmed me the one time I went in fifth year, so I haven't been since."  
  
He chuckled. "Right, come on, we're going there now." He took out a piece of parchment, tapped it whilst muttering something, and nodded. "OK, all's clear. Come on."  
  
I couldn't help feeling nervous of bumping into someone else as we strolled towards the prefects' bathroom. James had taken my hand in a way more natural than Robert had ever done, and I was equally comfortable, but still I was concerned what anyone else would think, observing us.  
  
"Right, here we are," he said. "Rose petals."  
  
The room was just as imposing as I remembered it. Everything was made of white marble, lit with soft light from the magnificent candle-filled chandelier. Piles of fluffy white towels were piled on shelves; the curtains were made from bright white linen. On the wall was one painting, of a mermaid. I was glad to see that it was currently asleep; on my last visit, it had been giggling and watching us, which had been rather disconcerting.  
  
The bath, which in reality was more like a swimming pool sunk into the floor, was empty. James smiled at me. "I suppose when you used this there were other people here?"  
  
I frowned. "Yes..."  
  
"Well, let me tell you, it's a lot better on your own. No-one complains if you put all one hundred types of bubbles in, for a start!"  
  
I giggled despite myself as he bounded towards the golden taps and water began to gush into the pool. I turned away as he threw aside his robes, and heard the splash of water as he jumped in. "Come on," he called, "get in."  
  
I turned round and gave him a Look, and he averted his gaze obediently until I was in the water. My feet touched the bottom, but only just. "This is why I use the showers," I grumbled as I resorted to treading water.  
  
He smiled. "I take it you can swim?"  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"Then what's the problem?" He reached behind him and, before I could get out of the way, flipped on a tap that sent water arcing towards and raining directly down on me.  
  
"Potter!" I spluttered, but he had disappeared. A sense of foreboding came over me just a second before something knocked me off my feet.  
  
We decided to head straight down to breakfast afterwards, rather than return to Gryffindor tower. We were two of the first people in the hall, James laughing as I mock-remonstrated him for being such a pain.  
  
"You gave as good as you got," he pointed out. "Who stole my glasses so I was completely helpless?"  
  
I smiled. "I shall never forget that - making James Potter surrender in a water fight."  
  
Professor McGonagall saw us and came over. "Ah, Potter, feeling better?"  
  
"Yes thanks, Professor. Up and about for the re-match next week."  
  
She smiled. "Good, good - hasn't put you off Quidditch, then?"  
  
He feigned horror. "Nothing could, Professor. No, it was just a silly thing, not paying attention to Bludgers. I've learnt the lesson."  
  
"Yes... so, Miss Evans, was patrol all right?"  
  
"Yes, not many about. Twenty points from Hufflepuff, fifteen from Ravenclaw, ten from Gryffindor and five from Slytherin."  
  
"No," James said, "I took ten more from Slytherin, five from Hufflepuff and five from Gryffindor up the towers." Then he clapped a hand to his head. "I mean, I thought you did, Lily?"  
  
Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Are you telling me you went on patrol last night Potter?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
She sighed despairingly. "Well, it's up to you," she said. "At least I know you're keen."  
  
We began to laugh again as she moved away. "You idiot!" I scolded.  
  
"Sorry... I swear, that's the first time I've ever incriminated myself like that. Well, actually I may have a couple of times in the first and second year, but..."  
  
We proceeded to the Gryffindor table. I sat down in my usual seat, and James dropped into the one next to me. I was startled.  
  
"Er -"  
  
"Yes?" He gave me a surprised look.  
  
"That's - that's Juliet's seat."  
  
He stood up. "Oh, sorry." He moved down the table to where he normally sat with his friends, and held out the chair next to him. "Well, come sit here then!"  
  
"But -"  
  
He began to frown. "Sorry, Lily - do you not want to sit together?"  
  
"N-no, it's not that..."  
  
"Then what? Oh, come on, your friends can surely cope without you for one morning? They can join us, in fact."  
  
At last I went to sit beside him. "Do you know," I commented as he handed me the rack of toast, "this is the first time I've sat somewhere other than that seat?"  
  
He guffawed. "You are joking?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, I'm glad I've got you to move then. In fact, no, I'm honoured. Marmalade or honey?"  
  
I smiled. "Honey, please."  
  
His friends arrived before mine. I felt my stomach contract slightly - I did not know what we were planning to explain to our friends about not returning last night, but I knew I did not want to be around if he told his friends the truth. However, Sirius Black, who was leading the group, walked straight past us and sat further down the table.  
  
"Shall I move?" I asked James, bewildered.  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"Well, only your friends don't seem to want to sit here while I am, so I thought you might want me to go. If it's that they don't like me."  
  
He gave me a bemused smile. "No, Lily, it's not that at all. It's just our policy. If one of us is sitting with a girl, particularly at breakfast, the others go else where."  
  
"Policy?"  
  
"Well, yeah. We decided it after an unfortunate incident with one of Sirius' girlfriends who spent all of breakfast twittering about what a good... well... you know... he was. God, it put us all off our food."  
  
I smiled. "I do see that it would, yes. So it's not personal?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nah. It's also something he and I decided on when we had the same girlfriend in fairly quick succession... it avoided embarrassment."  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "That's awful!"  
  
He grinned. "Hey, don't look at me - I was first. And besides, it was ages ago."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
We were talking when Juliet and Rebecca - always late down to breakfast - arrived. I didn't see them at first.  
  
"Lily!"  
  
I froze. James gave me an encouraging smile and I turned round. "Uh, hi."  
  
"What are you doing?" Juliet demanded shrilly.  
  
"Ha-having breakfast."  
  
"Very funny," Rebecca snapped. "You're with Potter."  
  
Juliet's gaze flickered down the table. "So it wasn't Lupin, after all," she said coldly. "But, Lily, why?"  
  
I was beginning to lose patience. "Why what? Why am I sitting in a different seat to normal? Why am I talking to someone else? Why didn't I consult with you first?"  
  
"Yes, I think that would do as a few questions," Rebecca responded. "Add in a couple that don't start with why - where have you been? What exactly do you think will come of joining Potter's fan club? - and you can start answering the questions."  
  
She paused. "Oh, and - change 'someone else' to 'a sworn enemy'."  
  
James turned round now as well. "I'm so glad everyone's happy to forget old grudges," he drawled. "Equally, I'm delighted that Lily has such nice friends. Not everyone has friends who want them to be happy, to do what they feel best, without questioning motives... in fact, I hear some people actually face the Spanish Inquisition if they get talking to someone else."  
  
Juliet's eyes narrowed. "So you think we don't care that in exactly twenty nine days time Lily will be a mess because you've dumped her? You think we don't want her to be with someone who will really make her happy? All you'll do for her is temporarily turn her into the sort of person she hates, who goes up North Tower and - and - does things with you!"  
  
James smiled slowly. "'Things?'"  
  
Rebecca glared at him now. "You're repulsive, Potter."  
  
"Oh dear... I'm sensing a conflict of interest here. Poor Lily. Seems to be torn between friends... and... boyfriend."  
  
I didn't seem to be part of this any more.  
  
"We have no problem with Robert!" Juliet sneered.  
  
"Ah, but someone seems to have moved on," James commented.  
  
"Been forced to, more like."  
  
"What are you trying to insinuate, exactly? That I manhandled Lily into having breakfast with me?"  
  
"I wouldn't like to rule that out."  
  
James's eyebrows lifted. "Well, that's actually quite disturbing. Until now, I assumed that girls ate breakfast with boys through their own accord, but never again will I think that. Hey, do you think Eric Attley hexed Rowena Figg into sitting with him? Or..."  
  
Rebecca drew out her wand. "Shut it, Potter, you know we didn't mean that."  
  
He eyed her in surprise. "Going to hex me? Oh dear. I guess you'd better go first, I wouldn't like to appear any less than a gentleman. Normally, wizards will only do verbal duel with witches. It's more comfortable."  
  
"More like you're worried you won't win."  
  
"Well, there is that possibility - perhaps I ought to call Sirius to be my second. Hey, Pad -"  
  
"No!" I interrupted. "James, you're Head Boy, you can't start hexing people over breakfast. Juliet, are you mad?"  
  
"I'd like to know whose side you're on," was all she said.  
  
"Nobody's," I said firmly, "unless my being with James pits me against you."  
  
"So you value him more than us?"  
  
"Did I say that? No. All I'm saying is, if you can't grow up enough to let me go out with who I like, then no, I'm not on your side."  
  
Juliet looked at me with an air of disappointment and anger. "Speak to us in a month's time. If you still feel the same, then I guess you've won." And with that, she and Rebecca stormed away.  
  
After a minute, James cleared his throat. "Well... let's just say, that's never happened before."  
  
I felt slightly numb. "No..." I was shaken, not so much by their abandonment of me - I had other friends, after all - but more by the Petunia-ness of their distress. Why did everyone expect me to be so normal - or in this case, boring? Because that was the problem. Robert was boring, but he was nice - Juliet and Rebecca wanted me to be like that, like I had always been, except for my temper. Being paired with someone like James rather ruined that image.  
  
I could hear whispers following us as we made our way out of the Great Hall. I caught snatches of 'Lily with James?' or 'James with Lily?' and, from somewhere, the dreaded 'I suppose she wants to tame him.' But did it really matter what everyone else thought?  
  
"So," James said, breaking into my thoughts, "do you want to go out tonight?"  
  
"Out where?"  
  
"To dinner? There's Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, or even the muggle world, if you want."  
  
"Er, James, is that safe? I thought we weren't allowed..."  
  
"We're not," he said cheerfully. "But as I see it, we're just as likely to get killed when we leave school as when we're here, so why worry?"  
  
I swallowed. He had a point. "And how exactly are we supposed to get there?"  
  
"Brooms and Apparate."  
  
"I can't fly."  
  
He gave me an astonished look. "Why?"  
  
"I got a fright with some Bucking Broom Powder in first year - you might remember - and never did very well since."  
  
He looked guilty. "It was meant for Marcius Malfoy! And I did rescue you..."  
  
"Yes, I was very ungrateful. Thanks for that." We had reached the portrait hole.  
  
"Password?" asked the Fat Lady, eying us curiously.  
  
"Pointy hat. Hmm. Well, all right, change of plan. We can go flying. I'll look after you. I taught Sirius to fly, after all."  
  
I gave him a desperate look, but he smiled and kissed me in the middle of the common room. "Relax," he said. "It'll be fun. I promise."  
  
"I'm trusting in rather too many of your promises lately," I grumbled, but I agreed nonetheless.  
  
B/N: Your reviewing makes us happy. Being happy makes us productive. Go figure! 


	34. Chapter 34

B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! Wow! So many reviews! (Especially champtennis! whew! but NOOO! Sev is wonderful!!! He cannot die. Glad you agree about cliffies, though...) EgyptsStar: thank you (I think)... what has Lourdaise been saying about me?!? glares at Lourdaise Invisible Voice: thanks! (but I still say Sev/Lucius would be better...) Red-Emerald: I heart you! blushes Kate: can you read, dear? Just wondering... because we did warn you... atiya: umm, sorry. i guess all the emotions had been suppressed for so long that when stuff finally happened it was explosive (my excuse, anyways...) hermione: weeell, Lils WAS a virgin... grins  
  
A/N: Yes, I too think it is ABSURD that Eihwaz now feels the need to do her own replies. But then again I guess she did author chapter 33 - incidentally I had NOTHING to do with that! So anyway. Now I will go through again! Thanks to Katrina Swan, KrisKG, Twilight66, child-of-scorpio, champtennis (WOAH! U r one DEDICATED reviewer! about 33 in total!!! i am glad u like it so much!), distant34 (ew to the towels!), PriBAngel, hermione (no offense taken - i agree with u. oh and as to the virgin thing - she was but eihwaz didnt want to go into all the pain and goriness, if that is what you meant... if not, what did u mean?), supergirl1036996, kate (well i think you are an 'immature dude' for calling that porn! havent u ever read a trashy chick lit novel? cos they arent porn and certainly no less graphic), Invisible Voice, Oliverwoodschic, Rae, Ecilla, Red-Emerald, sassafras, EgyptsStar, he who cant write, RedRaspberry (u'll see. actually no u probs wont see wot happens to rob... i think he sorta just disappears after this one! soz!), and atiya (soz, that was my fault, i got carried away with the run up and then eihwaz HAD to do her chap!!) WHEW. that was a lot of reviews - 20 - keep it up and enjoy the chap!  
  
Chapter 34  
  
My first lesson was Arithmancy - already I had to face Robert. He was as early to the lesson as me.  
  
"So it's Potter," he said genially. "Well that's not too embarrassing for me."  
  
"I... well... like I said, I think I'm making an awful mistake."  
  
"So do your friends."  
  
I forced a smile. "I know... but Robert, I just... he just... oh, I'm sorry, but we were never that close, were we? There was no... thrill, was there? You're a great friend, and I really, really didn't want to do that to you, but..."  
  
He nodded. "I know. It's OK. We can still be friends. I only... want to say... well, would you take some advice?"  
  
"Depends what it is."  
  
He smiled. "By all means go out with Potter, but just be careful not to go too deep. He is ruthless when it comes to girls, and I know you're sensible, but I do see how easy it is to fall..."  
  
I paused. He was right, I had almost forgotten James' reputation, but... he had said... "I'll be careful," I promised, and hugged him.  
  
James was certainly more fun than Robert had ever been. The first evening flying had been surprisingly romantic, and since then he had taken me out regularly, to restaurants in various places, even abroad on one occasion, and to the Three Broomsticks several times. He appeared to know Madam Rosmerta, the barmaid, very well - she winked at me and I couldn't help going bright red, to James's amusement.  
  
As for Juliet and Rebecca, they avoided me where possible, and otherwise ignored me. James' own friends were aloof, except for Remus Lupin. I presumed that this was another policy of theirs, although I had never and would never date Sirius Black... but maybe there were no exceptions to standard procedures.  
  
Three weeks passed, and even I couldn't help becoming anxious about James' feelings. He seemed no less happy with me than ever, but he never did before dumping a girl. I put up as unobvious a guard as possible, but I remembered Robert's words - I should be careful.  
  
I came into the common room one evening, having been to the library, to discover that I had mislaid one of my books. I was stretched out under a chair, trying to locate it, when I heard James's voice, and some people sat down.  
  
"So, James, a month is nearly up," said Sirius Black's voice. My stomach clenched.  
  
"Yes..." James replied, sounding wary. "And?"  
  
"Er, Prongs, have you forgotten what normally happens after a month?"  
  
There was a pause. "No, but..."  
  
"You are dumping this one, aren't you?"  
  
"Well, I... no," he said. "No, I'm not."  
  
There was another, longer, break in the conversation. "Wow," said Peter Pettigrew's voice at last. "How much longer, then? A week, two?"  
  
James coughed. "You clearly don't understand. I mean, I'm not - per se."  
  
Sirius Black laughed, then stopped. "You're not serious?"  
  
"Well, yeah, I am."  
  
"You're actually going to go steady with one girl?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But - but Prongs..." That was Peter. "What about your image?"  
  
"My image?"  
  
"You can't have forgotten already," he whined. "You're meant to be a - a cool guy, a heartbreaker, a... not a steady boyfriend to Lily Evans!"  
  
"What's wrong with Lily?" he said defensively. "I thought you liked her, Peter."  
  
"I do, but you're... you're James. She won't... do things... I mean, you're completely different! She doesn't like Quidditch!"  
  
"Quidditch isn't everything, and besides, I can talk her round," he said impatiently. "As for being completely different - you might be a bit wrong there."  
  
Sirius Black took over again. "You know, Wormtail is right, Prongs. She won't go up North Tower."  
  
James laughed softly. "Don't talk about things you don't know about, mate," he said. "We've gotta do something when we're on patrol."  
  
There was a stunned silence. "I guess we'd better get to know her, then," Sirius said at last. "Evans!"  
  
I stayed hidden. At last Remus Lupin spoke. "Padfoot, sit down. You're quite right, but you can't go racing off to make friends. It's a bit obvious."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well, anyway, James, I think it's great that you're staying with her," Remus added. "I always liked her."  
  
"Thanks, Moony," he said, sounding relieved. "At least one of you's pleased."  
  
"_I'm _pleased, J," Sirius said quickly. "Just surprised."  
  
I took my guard down after that. October rolled into November, and we became Hogwarts most famous couple. Everyone had clearly been waiting for us to split up, but as two months passed and Christmas loomed, people were beginning to see that maybe someone had changed James Potter.  
  
"It's madness!" squealed Emma Bones, hugging me. "You hated him and yet you've been going out with him for longer than anyone else! You'll be getting married next!"  
  
I laughed. "Hardly."  
  
"Well all right. But meet the parents, at least, don't you think?" Her eyes sparkled with teasing.  
  
Juliet and Rebecca had finally decided that maybe I had been right. They had clearly observed me as I was initiated into James's gang, something that no other girl had been, and at least they apologised to me.  
  
"We were wrong to jump down your throat like that," Juliet told me awkwardly. I accepted the apology, but nothing really changed. I hoped everyone would cool off over Christmas.  
  
Petunia had not been happy to hear that I was coming home for Christmas; in fact she was already upset, and that added to it. She and Vernon had had to postpone their wedding, due to one of his parents going into hospital, and so she was still living at home.  
  
"What is it with you and those birds?" she sneered as James's owl swooped in for the umpteenth time. "Can't you use a telephone?"  
  
"No," I said, detatching the letter. "Sadly Hogwarts is too magic for electricity."  
  
She seethed as I turned away from her.  
  
At about six thirty on Christmas Eve there came a hard rap on the front door.  
  
Petunia answered it, and there was a scream. "Freak!"  
  
I ran out into the hall. James was standing on the front step. In one hand he carried his broom, in the other an Invisibility Cloak.  
  
"James!"  
  
He flashed me a smile, and then indicated Petunia, who was opening and shutting her mouth silently. "What's with her?"  
  
"Oh - this is Petunia. My sister."  
  
"Your sister?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
He stared, and then shook himself. "Well, Petunia, it's... nice to meet you. Lily, you've got to come back to school."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Dumbledore's recalling everyone to school. There's been an outbreak from Azkaban, the Dementors have defected and Voldemort appears to be planning his biggest ever attack. A sort of... night of power. Starting at midnight tonight."  
  
I stared. "Who, what? Dementors?"  
  
He tapped his foot impatiently. "Yes, Lily, Dementors - you know!"  
  
"No, I don't know."  
  
"Oh dear God. Right, OK, Dementors - they guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. They're creatures that live on misery... they have the power to suck every good thought out of a person - in fact, the Dementor's Kiss is when they suck out a person's soul through their mouth."  
  
I was speechless. "That's - that's -"  
  
"Yes, exactly. It's sick. But the point is, they've gone over to Voldemort. And you need to come back to Hogwarts, which Dumbledore says is going to be the only safe place tonight."  
  
Petunia hissed in the background. "Don't be ridiculous."  
  
We had both forgotten she was there. James looked at her. "Ridiculous?"  
  
"Yes. All this scare-mongering for a stupid magician."  
  
His eyes narrowed and I knew there was no way I could stop him as he took out his wand. "I'll show you what a 'stupid magician' can do," he threatened. "And I'm far from his league, far from a Dark Wizard. Petificus Totalus!" A jet of red light spun from his wand and her limbs snapped together and she keeled over backwards. She stared up in horror as she found she couldn't move. He pocketed his wand. "If you insult me or Lily again, I can do much worse," he vowed, then turned to me. "Come on. We'd better get moving."  
  
I nodded slowly, and took him through into the lounge.  
  
"Mum, Dad, this is James Potter. James, these are my parents."  
  
Mum and Dad looked startled, and as I glanced at him again I realised why. They had never even seen me in wizard robes, and here he was in full magic attire.  
  
"I'm afraid I have to go back to school," I said quickly. "There's going to be a... that is..."  
  
"I can explain," James said swiftly. "Go and get your trunk."  
  
"I'm very sorry, Mr and Mrs Evans," I heard him say as I departed from the room. Petunia was still in the hall. I released her with a line of green light that dissolved James's handiwork.  
  
"So is he one of your 'friends'?" she asked, shaking.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "I see," she sneered. "Is he your boyfriend? How sweet, little Lily's found a boy who likes her..."  
  
"And a damn sight better looking he is than Vernon bloody Dursley!" I exploded.  
  
"Excuse me, I need to go and get my trunk."  
  
"Are you insulting Vernon?"  
  
"Absolutely," I said. "Move, please."  
  
"Not until you take that back."  
  
"Fine." I aimed a packing spell at my ceiling. "Accio trunk!"  
  
I heard it leave my bedroom, and Petunia leapt out of the way just as it reached the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"You freak!" she spat.  
  
I ignored her. "I'm ready, James."  
  
He came out into the hall, followed by my parents who both looked rather pale. I hugged and kissed them both. "I'll be fine," I promised. "That's why Professor Dumbledore wants us at school. It's safe there."  
  
They nodded. "How are you getting to King's Cross?" Dad asked.  
  
"King's - oh, no, we're flying to school," James explained.  
  
"Flying?" Mum echoed, wide-eyed.  
  
"Yes - it's all right Mum, he's an amazing flyer. I'll be fine," I told her.  
  
James coughed. "In fact - do you think it would be OK for us to... mount in here? And then you can just open the front door. It's just... outside..."  
  
Mum nodded vigorously and embraced me once more. James lifted his broom and straddled it. I gingerly got on behind and he threw his Cloak over both of us. Petunia shrieked as we disappeared.  
  
"Well, bye, Mum - Dad," I said. "Could you open the -"  
  
"Yes, yes." Dad hurriedly opened the front door. "Write to us, sweetie."  
  
"Of course. Merry Christmas," I said as an afterthought.  
  
"You too," they chorused.  
  
A wave of foreboding came over me as I watched them.  
  
"Well, goodbye," I said. James kicked us a foot off the ground. "And - I love you."  
  
"We love you too," Mum called as we zoomed out of the door. 


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Ok I have just beta-ed my own chapter, cos Eihwaz (the wonderful, the amazing, the mulit-talented, homage-worthy Eihwaz) has run off on holiday and I couldn't open the email she sent me with the next chapters on. So, rather than leave you to wait until the 18th June (the next time when we are both around) I decided to try this. Bear with me please!  
  
Thanx to Invisible Voice, chocoliciouz (ooh ok have fun!), PriBAngel, sassafras (You'll have to ask Eihwaz, although I kinda blackmailed her into writing the last one...), Oliverwoodschic, champtennis, Red-Emerald, KrisKG, bloomz-baby, Katrina Swan, EgyptsStar, RedRaspberry, kate (then why did you read it?), JamesIsMine04, smurfinator, abbie and kate... QUESTION: are the two kates different or just one with multiple personalities?!  
  
Ok, on with the show, I hope it works OK...  
  
Chapter 35  
  
We arrived at school more quickly than I had anticipated, having barely spoken over the journey.  
  
"Go straight to Dumbledore's office," James instructed as I dismounted.  
  
"Aren't you coming?"  
  
"No. I'm off to the wizard villages with Portkeys. I'll see you later," he said, leaning over to kiss me.  
  
"Be careful."  
  
"I will. Don't worry, I'll be appearing pretty regularly in Dumbledore's office. You can keep an eye on me, and the other prefects." And then he kicked off from the ground and waved as he disappeared into the sky.  
  
I hurried up towards the castle, and made my way to the headmaster's office. The door was open and he was sitting inside, looking unusually grave.  
  
"Ah, Lily," he said as I entered. "Good. James got you, then?"  
  
"Yes, yes. He said he's gone to the wizard villages with Portkeys."  
  
He nodded briskly. "Yes."  
  
"So... what's going on? All James explained was that Voldemort is going to... do something tonight."  
  
Professor Dumbledore looked at me closely. "Yes. Yes, Voldemort is intending to... well, I suppose there's no other way to put it than - to kill."  
  
"Kill?" I echoed.  
  
"Yes. All his followers, all his 'Death Eaters', and of course he himself, will be out in the wizarding world... killing."  
  
"Well, why aren't you doing something to stop him?" I asked shrilly.  
  
"I am," he said, and I flushed slightly. "But there is no way for me to prevent this whole night. I only pray that I can stop as much as possible. Even I, with my band of spies, have no way of knowing all his targets, all his plans." He stroked his beard. "Tom Marvolo Riddle. One of the best students Hogwarts has ever had. Up there with James Potter, Sirius Black and you. Less of a troublemaker than those first, perhaps. At least, at school."  
  
"What does he have to do with this? Is he on our side?" I asked eagerly.  
  
Dumbledore raised one eyebrow and waved his wand. The name he had just mentioned spelt itself in the air. With another shoot of sparks, they rearranged. 'I AM LORD VOLDEMORT.'  
  
"Oh." I felt foolish.  
  
"No," he said, "hardly anybody would recognise them as the same person, even if they had been acquaintances. He looks completely different, for starters - but that is just the start." He shook himself. "So does that fill you in on tonight?"  
  
"James said something about Dementors. He explained what they were, but he seemed to think them significant to tonight."  
  
Dumbledore shrugged. "Everything is significant when it comes down to it. All this means is, we have no way to rid ourselves of any of Voldemort's followers, unless through death, because our prison is now just a haven for Dark wizards. Plus, they are... lethal creatures."  
  
I shuddered. "He said."  
  
"Any more questions?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"Then I shall explain your role. I have all the male prefects bringing pupils back to school, and currently all the female prefects are keeping order in the Great Hall. Your job is more... sensitive. You, and James when he returns, will be aiding the heads of houses and myself break news to... victims."  
  
I turned pale. "News?"  
  
"More than one student will become an orphan tonight," he said. "Your job is to help them."  
  
And then I said something that I didn't think I would say now. "But, Professor, James is - terribly insensitive."  
  
At last he smiled. "If that was really true, he would neither be Head Boy nor a... friend... of yours."  
  
The Great Hall was a picture of sleeping bags, uneasy professors and frightened prefects and pupils. There was, for some unfathomable reason, silence as I entered the room.  
  
"Well," I said nervously, "I, er..." I cast around desperately for something to say. What did they want to hear? Did they even want to hear anything? There was a long, awkward pause.  
  
"What's happening?" asked a third year at last.  
  
I latched onto this. "Right. How many people here don't know what's going on?"  
  
Nobody responded.  
  
"OK..." At least I sort of knew what they wanted now. "Are there any... particular questions?"  
  
Now there was a flurry of hands. I was, in a strange way, relieved. "I'll start this side and work round. If somebody else asks the question you want to ask and I answer it, please don't repeat it. If your question is relevant to one I'm answering, stand up. And if you can't hear me, yell 'stop!' OK?"  
  
There were many questions I could not answer, some that caused panic, others that lessened it. By the end of the impromptu question time, James had reappeared twice and left, and the Great Hall was steadily filling. The Heads of Houses were taking registers, and prefects returned from time to time with more and more pupils. The Hall was split into the four houses as usual - I couldn't help noting, with a shiver, that not all the Slytherins looked very concerned. In fact, many seemed to be in great anticipation of something.  
  
By eleven thirty, the last student had arrived. James fought his way to my side. "Could we have quiet?" he yelled over the hum of noise.  
  
Heads swivelled our way.  
  
"Our professors are now leaving to fight," he said tensely. "Just so you know, one head of section will be here at any one time. Lily and I will remain here throughout, in Professor Dumbledore's office. The prefects will be keeping order in here. I would like to make it quite clear now that severe punishment faces anyone who causes deliberate chaos. Expulsion awaits anybody who makes insensitive remarks to those suffering. We are expecting extreme levels of co-operation, and absolutely no cruelty will be tolerated."  
  
He stepped back to allow me to speak. "We will be delivering - news," I said, my voice catching in my throat. "The common rooms will be open for anyone needing space, and Madam Pomfrey is in the hospital wing. The prefects will be looking out for you, but the main responsibility toward friends lies with you. This will not be an easy night, but please, as James said, make it as easy as possible."  
  
"Thank you," James said.  
  
At last I turned to him. "You look -"  
  
"Yes," he said, "I'm sure I do. I am... dreading this." He rubbed at the shadows beneath his eyes.  
  
"Me too."  
  
All of us knew when midnight struck. A thunderbolt crashed across the sky, making several people scream. For me, the ensuing silence was worse.  
  
Professor McGonagall was staying with us first. She sat, tight-lipped, in Dumbledore's office, with us beside her. All of us were watching the window. It was only quarter past when the first owl came. "Julie and Eric Attlee," she croaked, unfolding the parchment.  
  
I went out into the Hall, and as discreetly as possible found Eric and caught his arm. His sister, standing beside him, let out a scream like a banshee.  
  
"Not -" he gasped.  
  
I pulled them out of the Hall.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Professor McGonagall whispered when we reached Professor Dumbledore's office. "Your house went down at midnight and they were - still in it."  
  
Tom Brown. Elizabeth, Sam and Sophie Cackle. Charlie Grim. Talulah Finnigan. Sean Abbott. Jordan and Hannah Smith. Roger Macmillan. Ernest Bell. The list was endless. Owls kept swooping in. Professor McGonagall was replaced by an almost humane Professor Sherwin, then Professor Sprout. James and I stayed, dealing out tragedies like playing cards. There was no way to numb oneself to pale faces, wide eyes and blood-curdling screams. The worst was Lisa, the Gryffindor Seeker - she did not shout, or cry, but merely began to sway and emit a low keening noise. I saw James go whiter than ever before lifting her up and carrying her to the hospital wing.  
  
Professor Vector, head of the Ravenclaw house, took over from Professor Sprout at half past four. He looked at James and I.  
  
"You should go and take a rest," he said gently. "I am of the opinion that delivering news is the hardest job - and you two have been doing it all night. Go and take a break."  
  
Simultaneously, we shook our heads. "We'll stay here as long as necessary," James vowed.  
  
Professor Vector did not argue as yet another owl arrived. "Joshua Creevey," he said.  
  
Professor Dumbledore appeared in his office with a flash of fire at six o' clock. "It's over," he said heavily. "A death count from our side of eighty, one hundred more injured and two hundred houses ruined."  
  
"And his side?" asked James.  
  
"Lost forty men, and we injured thirty more. Those are the figures I have so far."  
  
"So far?" I echoed.  
  
"It is probable that more deaths will be discovered on each side over the course of this week."  
  
James took a deep breath. "Professor, did you see my p-"  
  
"Yes, James, your parents are live and well. It was in fact your father who found out that this raid was planned - so he was prepared better than most, perhaps."  
  
James slumped back in his chair. I suddenly realised just what had been eating at him all night. Of course he was worried about his own family. I had been caught up in fearing for everybody else. "How come I didn't know that?" he asked weakly.  
  
"It is best for these things to be secret," Dumbledore replied. "Now, I have to go and see what can be done about the remains, but is everyone all right?"  
  
"Hardly all right," I said, "they are eaten up by fear, and many have suffered losses. But they have coped admirably."  
  
Dumbledore nodded. "You can tell them that it is over for tonight. Ask them to try and get some sleep. It is, of course, Christmas Day, but tell them that presents and feasts will wait, if they don't mind." And then he was gone again.  
  
The atmosphere of that night lasted for days. Five more pupils were affected in the following week. The Daily Prophet was posted round the school, so we could see what was happening. Fear drove most of the stories - facts seemed hard to find. Voldemort was openly behind this - his 'Dark Mark' was pictured hovering in the sky all round the wizarding world.  
  
Breakfast had become a solemn time in the last years, everybody watching the windows of the Great Hall, waiting for the owl post of newspapers, and the feared letters bringing 'news', but this was by far the worst I had seen. James was one of the few not scared for himself, but both he and I kept watch round the hall for those telling moans, paling faces and shaking hands.  
  
"It seems to be OK this morning," he said. "Do you think it might be drawing to a close? I mean, it'll be a full week since it tomorrow, you'd think that wizards would have the ability to find all the bodies by then. Or - Lily? What's wrong?" He grabbed the piece of parchment from my hands.  
  
I retched. "They never said it would affect - _muggles_."  
  
And I fainted. 


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: I gather there might have been a problem with the last chapter... if there was and you would like me to send you the chapter, just email me at longleggedcowhotmail.com and i'll get back to you asap, ok? Well Eihwaz is still away and so this is my own work entirely again. Sorry! But I couldn't leave it til the 18th after all. But next week I'm away instead so you can have your slice of Eihwaz again... Thanks to kate (usually every Friday!), Invisible Voice, Lover Her Madly, PriBAngel, champtennis (ah... well... you have a point. they are would-be aunts and uncles!), Oliverwoodschic, JamesIsMine04 (yep), Red-Emerald, Kat (me, Lourdaise. Eihwaz is the beta), he who cant write, RedRaspberry, and smurfinator. Also this chapter is dedicated to EgyptsStar cos she helped out!!! Cheers. OK, I didnt make you wait, so read and review!  
  
Chapter 36  
  
When I came round in the hospital wing, James was sitting at my side, and so was Sirius Black. He looked horrified. The memories came flooding back.  
  
"My parents," I whispered.  
  
James leaned forward. "Sorry?"  
  
I shook my head. "Don't worry - what are you doing here?"  
  
"Sirius and I got permission to sit with you, due to the circumstances."  
  
James I could understand, but Sirius? "Why are you here?" I asked him weakly.  
  
"Be-because of who killed your parents," he muttered.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"My cousin," he mumbled.  
  
"What?" I tried to sit up, but James held me down.  
  
"My cousin killed your parents."  
  
I was stunned. All I could do was stare.  
  
"It said so in that letter. I wanted to explain that I'm not - not like him. Or any of them. I don't even live with my family."  
  
This was too much to comprehend. My parents were dead, at the hands of Sirius's relative, and he was... what? Disowning his family? "I don't understand."  
  
"I ran away from home two years ago. I just wanted you to know that - that I didn't think like them. That I wasn't - proud - that your parents were dead." He stood up. "I'll leave you."  
  
When his footsteps had retreated down the ward, James gave me a concerned look.  
  
"Are you all right? Well. I mean, obviously you're not all right, but..."  
  
"How did it happen?" I interrupted. "How did my parents, _muggles_, get struck by a wizard? And why? Is it because of me?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Voldemort was just demonstrating more power by muggle torturing. He didn't know that they had a witch daughter."  
  
I shuddered. "Tortured," I repeated.  
  
He said nothing. Of course he couldn't deny it. Muggles were a game, to Voldemort.  
  
"What about Petunia?"  
  
"She's fine," he replied. "She was out."  
  
"With Vernon Dursley," I said. "Thank God. And the house? I suppose that's gone."  
  
"No. Your parents weren't at home. They were at a muggle train station."  
  
"Oh." I felt weak again.  
  
"Have some chocolate," he said, taking a bar out of his robe pocket. "Madam Pomfrey was trying to force feed it to you earlier, but gave up."  
  
I smiled half-heartedly. "You can go, if you want. I'll only depress you."  
  
"No," he said firmly. "I'm staying with you. If you're here on your own you'll only dwell on everything. It's my duty as Head Boy to look after you."  
  
I stayed in the hospital wing for two days before deciding that I needed to go home. Professor Dumbledore came to visit.  
  
"I hear you want to go home to sort things out."  
  
"Just for a few days. It'll be the funeral."  
  
He nodded. "Yes. That's absolutely fine. You may go as soon as you wish."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"On one condition."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You take James."  
  
"Why? I mean..."  
  
"I quite understand that you probably want to be alone, but equally Voldemort is not defeated after last week, and I think you may need protection. Besides, travelling can be difficult."  
  
"I can Apparate."  
  
"Not in this state of mind you can't. James can fly you home, and stay with you. Never underestimate the power of moral support."  
  
"He might not want to come."  
  
"I've checked."  
  
"Oh. Well, all right, then. I suppose..."  
  
"Good," said Professor Dumbledore. "And Madam Pomfrey insists you take plenty of chocolate."  
  
I had to laugh.  
  
Petunia seemed composed, although pale, when I arrived. James had agreed to stay outside. "Thank God you were at Vernon's," I said shakily when we met. For the first time since I had started Hogwarts, we were not fighting, although conversation was stilted.  
  
She nodded. "And you at... school."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"The funeral will be on Wednesday."  
  
"I'll stay for it."  
  
"Yes," she repeated.  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"So. What's going to happen about your wedding?" I asked. It was a strange thing to say, but I couldn't think of anything better.  
  
"We'll have it in spring anyway. I don't want to stay in this house for longer than necessary. I understand you'll need it, though."  
  
I shook my head. "No. We should sell it and split the money. Then we'll each be able to live somewhere new. There are too many memories."  
  
She nodded. "All right."  
  
"So..." I said again.  
  
Suddenly she looked up. "Did he kill them because of you?"  
  
I began to cry. "I don't know. Everyone says they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it's just too much of a coincidence."  
  
She watched me without doing anything. "So. Will you renounce that world now? I always knew it was a bad idea to go there. You could marry a normal man, and forget it. Then this... Voldemort... might leave us alone."  
  
I stared at her, misty through my tears. "What?"  
  
"Forget about - magic. Hasn't this proved that it's dangerous? It's _killed our parents_," she said harshly. "But you could forget it, not go back there..."  
  
"Petunia, you can't be serious! It's - it's my home, my kind. I'm not a muggle any more, I can't just forget it!"  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "I see no reason why not. You've only been a... witch... for less than half your life."  
  
"But my friends are magic, I've learnt magic! I'm not prepared to live a muggle life, I haven't been taught maths since I was eleven! I've learnt Charms to do calculations for me, I've learnt Potions instead of science, I do flying, not netball!"  
  
"That can be corrected."  
  
"No it can't! And I don't want to be... corrected. I am a witch, and all this has told me is that I need to help fight! Even if all I do is support those fighting. You can't just desert in a war!"  
  
Petunia stamped her foot childishly. "I don't see why I should be dragged into this just by your stubbornness!"  
  
"Why are you being dragged into this?"  
  
"Because you won't give it up! He attacked our parents, and you admitted yourself that it was too much of a coincidence! I resent having my own life put at risk!"  
  
I spun on my heel and made for the kitchen door. "You're being ridiculous, Petunia."  
  
"No - you are! You've allowed our parents to die, you don't care about my life either. I suppose I'm not so important as you, with your magic tricks and your little boyfriends who impress you by tying me up! How many of us do you want dead before you realise that all your world causes is trouble?!"  
  
I raised my wand. "_Silencio_!" She fell quiet. "I'll be back for the funeral. See you then." I stormed out of the kitchen, knowing the hex would wear off but not wanting to be around when it did.  
  
James caught my arm as I ran down the drive. "Lily!"  
  
"Oh - sorry."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Not here," I said, "she'll come out. Can we go... somewhere?"  
  
He nodded, and we headed for a secluded teashop in the High Street, which was littered with a few old biddies draining their cups of coffee, and a bored looking teenager at the desk who brightened visibly when she saw James.  
  
"Do you come in here often?" she purred, leaning over the counter. "I've only just started work..."  
  
He flicked a glance at me before replying. "No, I'm visiting," he said brusquely. "Two Cokes, please, and some chocolate cake."  
  
She turned frosty as she prepared the order, and snatched the money from his hand. "And what is this?" she asked, holding up a bronze Knut.  
  
"Foreign currency," James lied easily. "Arabic, you know. Here." He replaced it with a fifty pence piece.  
  
I smiled as we sat down. "Arabic, indeed."  
  
"Well, close enough. So what's happened?"  
  
My grin faded. "Petunia wants me to renounce magic."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"She says I'm unfairly endangering her, and she reckons that if I went back to a muggle life then Voldemort would leave me alone."  
  
He gaped. "Is she a complete imbecile?"  
  
I shrugged. Doubt had begun to creep in. "Maybe she's right."  
  
His eyebrows rushed together in a frown. "Lily, don't be absurd."  
  
"But she could be," I pressed. "If my being a witch has brought this on my family..."  
  
He snorted. "Do you seriously think that every muggle that was killed at that station on Christmas Eve had some link with a witch or wizard?"  
  
I said nothing.  
  
"The only difference between them and your parents is that nobody knows what killed them! A bomb, that's what everyone thinks happened to that station. A simple terrorist. Only Petunia knows that it was a dark wizard with a wand, and she wouldn't know any different if you were a muggle like her. The point is, it was pure coincidence that Voldemort struck that station. He didn't think 'Hey, Lily Evans' parents are going to be at that station this evening, I'd better attack it.' He wanted to demonstrate power to the _magic _world. I doubt he envisaged _any _muggles knowing what really happened."  
  
I sighed shakily. He was right, of course. Petunia _was _being ridiculous. I didn't need to worry. 


	37. Chapter 37 is sooo cute!

B/N: Hellooooo!!! Did you miss me? (actually, don't answer that...) Hmm. Foxes are fighting outside my window at the moment. They make a really weird noise... Anyways, Lourdaise is carousing in Cambridge at the moment, so I am left to hold the fort May I say at this point: she BLACKMAILED me into writing chapter 33!!! (on the other hand, she did say some nice stuff about me so I cannot be mean. Much...) But I am depressed – my darling delightful compy DIED! So now I only have net access when I can hijack a compy...  
  
Hmm. Thanks to Oliverwoodschick, PriBAngel, KrisKG, lilypad7879, EgyptsStar (Lourdaise is NOT my mother! but no, the worst thing that happens when I update is the chapter names get more interesting ), caitlin, no-comment-carissa (I will read you fic, I promise, when I can next get on a compy... but I'm in the middle of exams at the mo), Red-Emerald (um... 'interesting' theory ), itsRAEninmen, atiya (oh, I'm blushing now! Thanks!), CanadianBlueberries (um, 'Harry'?) and Invisible Voice. And anyone who likes Sev...  
  
Aaaw! I know I think James is a prat normally, but he's soooooooo sweet now... (oh yeah, and I swear Lupin's eyes were amber... but then, I couldn't find it in any of the books...)  
  
Chapter 37 (is sooo cute!!!)  
  
The funeral on Wednesday was awful. Petunia and I stood apart, she with Vernon Dursley and I with James. He had only brought jeans and t-shirts for the stay, so he shortened his cloak so that it looked like a long black coat, and removed his wizard's hat. I had dug a black dress out of my wardrobe at home. I was relieved that James had agreed to accompany me to the funeral. My aunt and  
  
uncle watched us curiously, but I avoided discussing it afterwards. I didn't want to talk about my relationship with James at the moment. It was too confusing. I could see that it was definitely more than just a fling, and we were certainly becoming good friends. I had discovered, that night on patrol, that he held that elusive quality of fieriness that Robert had been missing. But I didn't know how he really felt about me, or in fact how I felt about him now I knew him better. He was looking after me like a friend at the moment, but love? It was difficult to pinpoint, but was that because there was too much of it - or none of it?  
  
Petunia and I had one last conversation before I returned to school. It was stiff and formal, but not angry. We decided on selling the house, and with the aid of a lawyer, we sorted out their will. I opened an account at Gringott's and had most of the money changed to Galleons. Petunia was clearly disapproving of the move, but it was up to me now. We had finally drifted completely apart.  
  
Apathy set in after a month or so had passed. Schoolwork took my mind off my loss, and I took comfort in the fact that my last words to my parents had been of love. I remembered that feeling of wariness that had overcome me, and now I wondered if I had in fact known I would not see them again.  
  
"You should have done Divination," James said, half teasingly, when I told him. I nodded agreement and smiled. James was being a great help to me now. Not only did he help me out with Head Girl responsibilities and schoolwork, he seemed to be the only one to understand how I was feeling. He was the only  
  
person - surprisingly - who knew when not to joke, or when I would rather he did. Remus Lupin was the other one who seemed to comprehend, but he didn't say much. I could just see it in his grey eyes as he watched me.  
  
Juliet and Rebecca observed James, I knew. They had tried to come straight back to me in the aftermath of my loss, and they were a help, but somehow I felt  
  
betrayed by them. In some ways, it was other girls whose gestures I preferred, because there was no reason why they should feel they had to. Plus, although a lot of people were surprised at James Potter's new attitude, Juliet and Rebecca seemed to scorn it. All I wanted was a comforting smile.  
  
There was a change in our relationship now, though, it seemed. I didn't know whether it was temporary, or whether we merely were just friends now. We didn't seem to go out on dates, and never kissed. I didn't mind. My head was too  
  
messed up to worry about love now.  
  
Barely had I decided that James and I were destined just to be friends, he changed it. We were doing Charms homework by the fire one night in early February when he coughed awkwardly and set aside his books. I looked up.  
  
"Are you okay?" He ran a hand through his hair and contemplated me. "I've been wondering," he stated.  
  
"Wondering?" said Sirius's voice from behind me. "Bloody killing yourself worrying, more like."  
  
"Go away, Padfoot!" James yelled. "And Moony and Wormtail if you're there."  
  
There were sounds of discontent as the three emerged from behind our chairs and departed.  
  
"You were saying?" I prompted.  
  
"Well, I was thinking," he said hopelessly. "About us."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"And how... how we don't... do much together these days. Apart from as friends," he added quickly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And, and I don't mind, if you only want to be friends. Only..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Well, I mean, we could - could go out, some time. Just us, kind of. And work out what..."  
  
I was beginning to smile. Never had I seen James this flustered. "That would be nice."  
  
He looked perplexed. "Yes - yes, I thought it would be. Nice, that is."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"I - er - I don't - well, we could go out for dinner, say."  
  
"OK."  
  
He fidgeted in his chair. "Right," he said. "That - that's good."  
  
I laughed. Clearly he wanted more enthusiasm, but I needed to think before I could give him any hint of my feelings. In fact, I needed to know what he was thinking too. "Shall we get on with our homework, then?"  
  
And so we began dating again. It was light-hearted, perhaps even more so than before. We didn't talk about our relationship, but as February lapsed into  
  
March, I began to wonder. There had never been a repeat of that night on patrol, and although we kissed, it was beginning to feel as chaste as my relationship with Robert had been. And yet this was James Potter. I considered several times the possibility that he might be two timing me - but why wouldn't he just dump me? It was hardly as though he had a problem doing that. Somehow I didn't think that was the problem. Something in the way he sometimes looked at me when he thought I wasn't watching him, some of the things he said... It was bizarre.  
  
"We need to talk," he said one evening as sat on the rim of a fountain in Hogsmeade where we had been making unusually pained conversation. It was clear he had something on his mind.  
  
I glanced at him. "Yes."  
  
There was a pause. "You first," he said.  
  
"How can I go first? I don't know what you want to talk about."  
  
He gave me an exasperated look. "Lily!"  
  
"What? OK, OK. Do you want to break up with me?" I asked him.  
  
He looked bemused. "No."  
  
"I don't know why you're so surprised I asked," I said. "You normally would after just a month with a girl."  
  
He flinched. "Yes, well. All right. I think... I don't know where this is going."  
  
I flicked him a look. "Where this is going? I wasn't under the impression it was going anywhere."  
  
"Exactly," he said.  
  
"And nor did I realise you had plans for it to go anywhere. I thought you had flings, not relationships," I pointed out, smiling slightly.  
  
"Well, I told you that wasn't what I would do to you, didn't I?" He sounded defensive, then sighed. "I don't know what you want, Lily. Before Christmas it was... well, it wasn't much different to my other... flings, you called them. Except you were different. I didn't break up with you, but I didn't really know why. And then, well, after what happened at Christmas, I thought you'd prefer it if I left you alone a bit. Then we started going out again, and I don't  
  
understand it. It's like..." He made a gesture with his arm between us.  
  
"A wall?" I suggested.  
  
"Yes. A wall. And I don't understand it, because it's never happened to me before, and I don't want it to." He sounded almost petulant.  
  
I chewed on my lip. I had a fairly good idea why this wall existed - I felt I needed it, and I think he did too.  
  
"And - it's so awkward," he said.  
  
"You really have no idea why it's there?" I asked.  
  
He hesitated. "Well, I... only know... how I feel."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But I want to know how you feel."  
  
I paused too. A lot of harm could come from this, I knew, if he didn't reciprocate how I felt. But if he did... "I don't know," I said helplessly. Why couldn't I tell the truth? "You were great... after Christmas... as a friend. But I l-like you a lot..." I stuttered.  
  
He eyed me sadly. "Seems we're just friends, then."  
  
I shook my head frantically. "No! No, it's not that. I don't know," I repeated. "You say you know how you feel."  
  
He shrugged. "I mean I know that I don't want to break up, and I know this  
  
doesn't feel like a passing thing... and it feels like more than friendship. But I don't know what that means."  
  
He had given me my answer. "Don't you?"  
  
He looked across at me. "Well. I mean... I think it's..."  
  
I waited.  
  
"I've never really thought about it," he stammered, "with anyone else."  
  
"But?"  
  
"I think... I think I might... be..." He gulped. "In..."  
  
"In?" I prompted.  
  
"L-l-l... love...with... you." 


	38. Chapter 38

B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! Wow! What a response! Glad you people agree with me about that chappy. Thank to: londonlover2 (thanks! why do you love london though??), KrisKG, lady dragons, bloomz-baby (love the name!), Kat (7th year, and thanks for the compliment!), kate (thanks! I am to annoy...), PriBAngel (evil? you flatter me...), he who cant write (aww! you are so cute!), Oliverwoodschic, Red- Emerald, JamesIsMine04, EgyptsStar (!!! thanks!! i've never been called a kitten before... but being purposefully obtuse is fun!!!! erm, can you send me the fic name again? soz, but when my compy died, i lost all my emails... love you for your staunch Sev support!), miss-mags-ak, Candian Blueberries and Invisible Voice (thanks!). Anyway, Lourdaise is back now so over to her:

A/N: Grief! Has anyone else noticed that Eihwaz has stealthily taken over the world?! Or if not the world, then this story at least! I swear it is the author who is supposed to do the thank yous. Nowadays, she writes them at lunchtime and LUCKY ME!!!! I get to TYPE THEM ALL OUT!!!!! anyway. rant over. she is wonderful at beta-ing without a computer, so I SUPPOSE i shud allow her to hijack some things. humph. anyway especial thanks to londonlover2 - I can't believe it feels like an original HP! and also i love london too. eihwaz is just a cynic. oh and for anyone interested, Cambridge was good. on with the show!  
  
Chapter 38  
  
I didn't mention his words to anyone else, but they were solely responsible for a change in me. Since Christmas, I had tried not to seem miserable, but I had never been particularly cheerful either. Now, I couldn't help but be buoyed up.  
  
Having managed to force out the words, James had turned a flaming red and began kicking the fountain with his heels.  
  
"I suppose now I seem a complete idiot," he had muttered.  
  
I had smiled. "No."  
  
"No?"  
  
I hadn't seen a need to echo his own words. Instead I had leaned closer to him, and watched his incredulous grin as I wrapped my arms round him.  
  
"You mean you love me too?"  
  
I raised one eyebrow. "Now don't go making assumptions, Potter," I began as he jumped down from the fountain and spun me round, whooping. "Put me down!" He complied and I tutted. "You're like a small child!"  
  
He laughed. "But you love me," he reminded me, and kissed me.  
  
People who, since Christmas, had begun to speculate that James would soon be moving on from me were bewildered by his sudden change in attitude. Roses and silly gifts began appearing in most unlikely places, and he could often be seen doing nothing but watching me. I laughed at him.  
  
"James, get a grip - you're as besotted with me as Peter is with you!"  
  
His eyes widened. "What?" Then he smirked. "Are you saying you'd rather I started chasing the other girls again?"  
  
I mock-slapped his cheek. "Don't even think of it, mister."  
  
He reached out and pulled me in to kiss him.  
  
"Get a room," came a teasing voice behind us, and I felt myself lifted away from James by Sirius. "Not all of us are ready to lose our dinners quite yet."  
  
Remus was standing by as well. His eyes were sparkling. "Leave them alone, Sirius, you're only jealous."  
  
Sirius spun round. "Jealous, me?"  
  
"Yes," piped up Peter. "'Cause all your girlfriends only last a month."  
  
Sirius spluttered and then stalked off. "I'll have you know I could get a steady girlfriend if I wanted one!" he called over his shoulder.  
  
"Oh dear," groaned Remus. "Come on Wormtail, let's go."  
  
I sat down beside James, who was smiling. "Good old Moony."  
  
I watched as they chased Sirius out of the Common Room. "Yeah. I always wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend. Enough girls are interested in him."  
  
James gave me a sharp look. "Who?"  
  
"Oh, Shelley Corner and Dawn Goldstein in our year, and a few younger ones as well."  
  
He considered. "Dawn Goldstein... yeah, I think I remember her... but Shelley?"  
  
"Yes, she did go out with you," I said acidly.  
  
He flushed slightly. "Yeah, well, I was holding out for true love."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Right. So Remus?"  
  
He shrugged and looked evasive. "I think he's... too busy."  
  
"Why is he any more busy than anyone else?"  
  
"And he has... issues."  
  
I gulped. "He's gay?"  
  
"NO!" James choked with laughter. "No. Not that sort of issue."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Lils, I don't think I'm allowed to tell you."  
  
I sat up straighter. "But -"  
  
"Please, Lily, leave it." His tone was firm and I conceded defeat. I would find out somehow, I decided, then shuddered. I was more like Petunia than I thought - nosy. "But you're not surprised that Peter's single?" he asked, teasing again now.  
  
"Not particularly, no," I said, then clapped a hand over my mouth. "I didn't say that!"  
  
But James had already cracked up with laughter.  
  
One night in late March, as I sat struggling with some tricky Transfiguration homework, I felt someone sit beside me. "Hi James," I said absently.  
  
"Since when was I James?" laughed a familiar voice. I glanced up.  
  
"Juliet! Where's Rebecca?"  
  
"Would you believe she's having extra lessons in Charms? Since you -" she broke off. "That is, she's deteriorated since -"  
  
I waved a hand. "You can say it, Julie. I know I'm not around much any more."  
  
She looked sad. "Why?"  
  
"Why? Isn't it obvious? You don't like James and Si, so..."  
  
"Neither did you, before. And since when was Sirius Black 'Si' to you?" She began to giggle.  
  
I joined in sheepishly. "I don't know," I admitted. "And yes, I know I used to hate them, but... things changed. And you wouldn't change with me, so I had to make a choice."  
  
She nodded slowly. "We could catch up with you," she said quietly.  
  
I blinked. "You would?"  
  
"We could try. Rebecca and I were talking, and it seems you might be right. Potter - that is, James... is so different these days. Everybody talks about it."  
  
I laughed. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Half the school hates it, half the school loves it. They reckon you'll get married as soon as we leave school."  
  
I guffawed. "What!"  
  
"Well, what are the odds that James Potter would ever find two people who he was happy to settle down with? Nah, it's gotta be you."  
  
"But what if I don't want him?"  
  
She frowned. "I thought you..."  
  
"Oh, I love him - at the moment! But marriage? No way."  
  
She shrugged. "Fair enough. I won't be getting married as soon as we leave, that's for sure."  
  
I smiled. "How are things going with, er... that Hufflepuff..."  
  
She snorted. "Him? Oh, we split up ages ago. He was a nerd."  
  
"So you don't have that big a problem with more popular guys, then?"  
  
She swatted her hand at me. "I never said I did! We all had a problem with Potter and Black, and 'til the day I die I'm sure I'll never understand how that changed."  
  
I laughed. "It's not a secret."  
  
"Oh! I thought - well, come on, then Lils. You've got some serious bean spilling to do."  
  
I settled back in the sofa, homework abandoned. "Oh, all right. Well... it all started last year. A really stupid, stupid thing."  
  
She raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Well, you know when Petunia wrote to tell me she was getting married? Or rather M-Mum wrote."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"And I disappeared in the night?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I went down to the common room, and James was in there - sleeping. And... oh God, this is so embarrassing - he was kinda... cute."  
  
She began to laugh. "You are so not telling me that all this started because James Potter doesn't snore?"  
  
I giggled. "True, he doesn't, but... yes, in short."  
  
She gaped. "Lily Evans, I thought better of you!"  
  
"I can assure you I was disappointed in myself too. And then... well, I just kept... noticing him. Being funny, or sweet, or... well, and not boring. 'Cause Robert was really... depressing me... because he was so boring. But I thought, 'no this is stupid,' and I'd just decided to ignore it when we got made Head Boy and Girl."  
  
Juliet's eyes lit up. "Now I know why you looked terrified!"  
  
"Yes, well, exactly. And then he just kept proving that he was actually a decent, if slightly arrogant, person."  
  
"Slightly?" she scoffed.  
  
"Well, all right, but I think he's not so bad as he was in fifth year now."  
  
"No."  
  
"And he made me laugh. So then, when he fell off his broom... I just went kind of mad. I didn't mean to ever tell him how I felt."  
  
"So you were telling him that."  
  
"No, I wasn't, I was just going, 'Wake up, James', but he realised why, and then... when I went on patrol the next week, he sort of appeared."  
  
"How did he find you in this whole school?"  
  
I smiled. "I wondered, too. They have this little map thing, that says where everyone in the school is. The Marauder's Map, they call it... they wrote it themselves."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, it's impressive. But anyhow, he persuaded me to tell him the whole thing, and then he kissed me."  
  
Juliet smiled. "I was waiting for that."  
  
"Yeah, well, it didn't get very far because Peeves arrived."  
  
She groaned.  
  
"Exactly, but James sort of hexed him until near death... well, he's already dead, but again."  
  
Juliet grinned. "I must try that."  
  
"Apparently you have to feel pure hatred. I think James was pretty upset by the interruption." We giggled. "Anyway, so then he suggested we split up - he went to patrol the towers and me the classrooms. But he asked me to meet him up... North Tower."  
  
"North Tower? Lily!"  
  
"Well, I know..." I had to pause a minute then. How much should I tell her?  
  
"So yeah."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Did you kiss again?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
I opened my mouth, closed it and flushed, giving everything away. She squealed.  
  
"How far?"  
  
I tried to shrug.  
  
"Not -" She made an expressive gesture.  
  
"Well. Maybe."  
  
She shrieked again. "Lily!"  
  
I coughed self-consciously. "Well, anyway, and then we went for a swim in the Prefects' bathroom, and then... well, you saw us at breakfast."  
  
She looked regretful. "Yeah. Sorry about that. It was out of order."  
  
I waved a hand. "No matter."  
  
"So what's happening now?"  
  
"Well, we kind of cooled off when my parents... but then he told me he loved me, so... since then, I guess it's pretty obvious."  
  
She smiled and nodded. "So how many times..."  
  
"Once. Only."  
  
"Hmm. Good?"  
  
I shrugged. "How would I know?" But my smile gave me away.  
  
She giggled. "Can I tell Rebecca?"  
  
"I guess," I said. "So... are we friends again?" Juliet hugged me. "Course, Lily. We should never have stopped being."


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: Hi... this is not one of my fav chapters but never mind. I AM THE MASTER! I FINISHED MY MATHS COURSEWORK! WOOWOWOOOOO! anyway. :D thanx to Invisible Voice, he who cant write, Oliverwoodschic (is it just my author alerts not working or hav u not updated for a long time?!), Jules713, CanadianBlueberries (lol), PriBAngel, smurfinator, EgyptsStar (well yah i am just SUCH a diplomat ;)), no-comment-carissa, kate, GhostMagic19 (aha, well, we'll see!), RedRaspberry (yeh sorry I HAD updated b4 the 18th after all! sorry! and eihwaz was disappointed that i only toyed with the idea of Rem being gay), atiya (it is still every friday! i dunno. mebbe a sequel, wodya think?), Adri, and slytherinphoenix7.  
  
Eihwaz says thanks to everyone too, but she got my point last week! And also I think she thinks I'm mad with her. But I'm not. That goes to you too Invisible Voice :D I was just too hot and feeling irritable in tennis towards the end. Sorrrrry........ Hav fun on D of E Invisible Voice! Hee hee heeeeeeeeee... Anyway enuf personal note! On with the story.  
  
Chapter 39  
  
Life was improving. I had a steady - but exciting - boyfriend, I had my two best friends back, and being Head Girl was better than ever. The NEWTs were approaching, but not for another month or so. All that was blighting my happiness was the loss of my parents and therefore wondering what to do after school - and of course, the presence of Voldemort in the wizarding world, but that never went away.  
  
And so the weeks went by in a blur of revising and laughing with friends and James. The NEWTs arrived - earlier than the OWLs, as we were to receive our results before the summer holidays. I was hoping for Outstanding in Charms, Arithmancy and Herbology at least, and Exceeds Expectations in Transfiguration and Astronomy. I had achieved Outstanding in everything but Potions at OWL level, but I thought that might be a bit much to hope for now.  
  
This time I did not mind that at the end of each shared exam I could feel James watching me. We had developed a code of coughing - two coughs for 'this is easy' and three for 'this is impossible!' - and both of us were doing all right.  
  
"This is a bit different to fifth year, isn't it?" I remarked after the Charms exam. Juliet and Rebecca were sitting on one side of me, Sirius, Remus and Peter on the other. James was lounging with his head in my lap.  
  
"Not very," he replied, not opening his eyes. "We're still by the lake, and if I saw rightly earlier, Snape's near us again."  
  
I glanced round. "Well, you're not going after him."  
  
Sirius coughed. "Am I allowed?"  
  
"You wouldn't, without James," I pointed out. "Anyway, J, everything else is different. That time, if I remember, you were sitting glancing at all the girls and playing with that Snitch."  
  
"And ruffling up your hair," Juliet added.  
  
He laughed. "I was glancing at you," he said.  
  
"Aw, how sweet," mocked Sirius.  
  
Remus shook his head. "You're so unromantic, Padfoot."  
  
"And you're not?"  
  
He shrugged. "I think I could be. You know perfectly well why I don't bother, so let's change the subject."  
  
Unexpectedly, Sirius nodded. "Fine. Hey, James, sit up."  
  
James groaned and pushed himself upright. "What?"  
  
"Do you see what I see?"  
  
James narrowed his eyes. "That is grotesque!"  
  
I leaned forward. "What is?"  
  
He pointed. Snape appeared to be doing exercises of some kind. "Er, James, he's only doing press ups."  
  
Sirius shuddered. "It's the connotations I have a problem with."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Do you think of nothing else?"  
  
"Nope. Well, that's a lie, actually, I think about pranking Snape, and I even considered repainting my lounge, the other day."  
  
I couldn't help smiling.  
  
"Won't your parents mind?" asked Juliet.  
  
His eyes narrowed. "Don't live with them," he said shortly. "I have my own flat."  
  
She looked surprised. "Oh. I didn't know. Sorry."  
  
He grinned. "Don't be sorry. I intend it being very useful, having my own place when I leave school. Unlike Jamsie, who's staying at home... how sweet."  
  
James glared at him. "You were perfectly happy to stay at my home when it was useful to you."  
  
Sirius flinched. "Thanks."  
  
"That was a bit below the belt, mate," Remus said.  
  
James pulled a face. "Sorry."  
  
Sirius waved a hand. "It's OK. So what are the rest of you doing?"  
  
"Getting a place together," Juliet, Rebecca and I said.  
  
"Staying at home," Remus said, "until I can buy a house somewhere."  
  
"Peter?"  
  
"I don't really know."  
  
"Oh." Sirius grinned. "Staying at home, then." He turned back to us. "You're flat sharing, then?"  
  
We nodded. It was something we had decided when the three of us became close friends again.  
  
He smirked. "Lucky you, Juliet and Rebecca. You'll have to put up with it when James comes round. Make sure you have separate bedrooms."  
  
James and I gaped at him, and he snorted with laughter. "Only joking, I know Lils wouldn't do that until marriage."  
  
Now I began to flush. Clearly Sirius did not know. Remus began to smile knowingly as Juliet and Becky giggled. "I think Prongs may have a secret from you at last, Padfoot," he said.  
  
"What?" Sirius frowned, and James grabbed my hand.  
  
"Let's go," he said quickly, and we began walking hurriedly away. We were far enough away to escape when comprehension dawned.  
  
"HEY! Hey, Prongs, get back here!"  
  
James grinned. "And now we run," he said.  
  
I was very glad that I hadn't been there when Sirius finally did corner James, but I had to bear his grins all the same. Now the exams were over, even classes didn't exist to get away from him in.  
  
"Oh well," James sighed, "it's nearly June."  
  
"Only halfway through May, actually; we don't break up until July," I reminded him.  
  
"He'll get over it. He was just surprised. Though I have to say I was pretty surprised to be ambushed by a mad thing who stole my wand, levitated me and tied me in a curtain before proceeding to try and force feed me truth potion."  
  
I smiled. That was Sirius, all right.  
  
"No, actually, it was Snape," James said casually. "He'd overheard Sirius asking me, and wanted to know. I told Sirius with no problems."  
  
I gaped.  
  
"Only joking," he admitted. "Yeah, it was Padfoot."  
  
Luckily, a distraction came in the form of a letter that evening. Professor Dumbledore himself delivered it to the common room, causing quite a stir. James and I barely noticed, as we were alternating between kissing and chatting about our plans for the summer. Suddenly there was a dignified cough behind me. I pulled away from James and turned. "Oh my god, Professor!"  
  
"Shit," muttered James.  
  
Professor Dumbledore looked amused. "No, Lily, I'm not a god, though it is certainly a compliment. And I am aware that you two are - friends. I am not here to strike fear in the entire Gryffindor common room," he said, glancing round and smiling. "I'm here to deliver this letter."  
  
"Why didn't my owl bring it?" I asked.  
  
"I believe your sister has a problem with owl post. She sent in the muggle way - luckily one of my contacts who works in muggle relations found out that she'd tried to post a letter to Hogwarts, and he confiscated it and forwarded it to me. It's about her wedding," he said conversationally.  
  
I was surprised as I took out the letter and scanned it. "I assumed she wouldn't want me to go," I said.  
  
"No, well it's not a proper invitation, is it?" James said, reading over my shoulder. "Looks like she had a last minute change of heart."  
  
I nodded. "Funny, though, I thought it had already happened. They must have postponed again. Hey, look - she wants you to come." I pointed at a line at the bottom of the letter. 'I suppose you had better bring a friend, but please dress, act and talk normally.'  
  
He laughed. "I doubt she actually wants me there after I put the Full Body Bind on her."  
  
Professor Dumbledore raised his eyes to the ceiling. "I am temporarily deaf," he said.  
  
James smiled. "It's OK, Professor, I was only trying to prove that magic did exist. Well, can we go? It's this weekend - this weekend?!"  
  
Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Certainly. I agree it is short notice. James, you do have a suit of some description, don't you?"  
  
James looked amused. "Yes, sir."  
  
"Good. Well, enjoy it - remember, though, be careful. Good evening, everyone," he said, and then headed for the portrait hole.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore just caught us kissing," I squeaked at last. 


	40. Chapter 40!

A/N: Woah, I cannot believe this is chapter FORTY. Ah well. I hav had an excellent day, I hope you all have too. This is the penultimate chapter - hands up if you want a sequel? That is... review and tell me if you want a sequel. OK. Thanx to londonlover, bloomz-baby, Oliverwoodschic, PriBAngel (we'll see in the poll), no-comment-carissa, Adrianna (wow, thanx! you are rily enthusiastic! dont think i can publish tho...), itsRAEninmem, EgyptsStar (good luck with the exams! actually u hav sat them now but nm! to be honest, the story is winding down now cos it's the end. sorry...), Andra (:D), Red-Emerald, slytherinphoenix7 (it isnt. there might be a sequel, do u think that's a good idea?), RedRaspberry (me too), Imagination444 (:D), Andra (same Andra or different Andra? ah. diff chapter), InvisibleVoice (poor you!), CanadianBlueberries (call it a moment of madness. and yes, i thought the snape thing was awkward. that was partly why i didnt like that chap), PatchLover08, sassafras (no worries! how was vacation?), atiya, ClovisWestGrad'06 (:D), and Fantasy of Wonder (erm, I'm guessing not, cos i dont know who he is.... sorry! ah. i hav just checked. no it was just a random name!)  
  
B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! Nope, I have learnt nothing. Except perhaps to type up my B/Ns for Lourdaise (honestly, she asked me to do the thankyous for chapter 38! But I cannot really complain because she was then very nice... and also typed the other stuff up for me... pity she's noticed my plan to take over the world)! Anyways, thanks to select people - Fantasy of Wonder: yay! LOTR reference! I have as yet failed to convert Lourdaise (sobs); Canadian Blueberries: don't diss Sev! (grrr); Egyptsstar: (muahahahahaha!!) I hereby state firmly that whatever anyone else says, Remus is gay (don't care if he's seme or uke, though...)

A/N: Yes, we must all worry about Eihwaz. I roared when she sed the last bit. anyway. on with the PENULTIMATE chapter...  
  
Chapter 40  
  
We decided to walk to Hogsmeade and Apparate to the wedding. "We must be careful not to end up amongst Muggles though," I warned.  
  
James nodded. "Sure. We can Apparate in to somewhere deserted."  
  
We ended up tucked round a corner of the church. We walked round to the front, where James looked amused. "So this is a muggle wedding."  
  
"Yes. Haven't you ever been to one before?"  
  
He shook his head. "Never."  
  
"Oh, well, enjoy this one then," I said cynically. "Do I look all right?"  
  
"Perfect as ever," he said, running his gaze over me appreciatively.  
  
"James, eyes on my face, please," I snapped.  
  
He laughed. "Sorry..."  
  
Suddenly my aunt and uncle appeared in front of us. "Lily dear!" Aunt June kissed me on the cheek and then looked at James. "And who's this, Lily sweetheart?"  
  
"This is James Potter," I replied. "James, this is my Aunt June and Uncle Patrick."  
  
Uncle Patrick shook hands with James. "You must be Lily's boyfriend!"  
  
I flushed crimson. "Uncle!"  
  
"Yes," James said calmly, grinning.  
  
Aunt June's face suddenly clouded and she shrieked. "Patrick!" She pointed at something over my shoulder.  
  
James and I both spun round, and James began to laugh as a large, bear-like black dog lolloped round the corner of the church. It sat down, seeing Aunt June's fright, and began to wag its tail. James advanced towards it. "Be careful," she said frantically.  
  
"It's harmless," James said as the dog seemed to grin up at him. I could have sworn it winked at me, and I couldn't help feeling there was something familiar about it. James patted it on the head and shooed it round the corner. "Just a stray," he confirmed when he came back. "No collar."  
  
Aunt June was smiling happily at him. "Thank you dear," she said, "I've never been keen on dogs. Nasty things."  
  
"Not at all," Uncle Patrick said. "Shall we go inside, or are you waiting to greet people Lily?"  
  
"No, no," I said hastily. "Let's go in."  
  
Vernon Dursley was already waiting at the altar. James sniggered.  
  
"So that's the groom?"  
  
"Shh! Yes."  
  
He smiled. "I now know what you should give them as a wedding present. A potion for losing weight and growing neck."  
  
I cuffed him on the arm. "Shh!" I repeated as my two cousins came to sit by us.  
  
"Hi Lils! Do you know how long it is 'til Petty gets here?"  
  
I shook my head. How long was it since I had used that childish nickname? Seven years, I guessed. "No idea. How are you?"  
  
Linda, the elder, shrugged. "I'm in the middle of my O-levels," she said. "They're not so bad... how did you do in them?"  
  
I froze. O-levels; the muggle OWLs. "I got As in everything except... chemistry," I paralleled.  
  
"Wow! I don't remember being told that."  
  
"No, no you probably weren't. Don't worry, Linda, you'll do fine. So Philippa, how are you?" Anything to get off the subject of these O-levels.  
  
"Oh, I'm OK. School's boring, but..."  
  
"What year are you in? Second, isn't it? No. Third."  
  
She nodded. "I can't believe you're eighteen now!" Suddenly she noticed James. "Hey, who are you?"  
  
He leaned forward and gave his most charming grin. "Me? James Potter," he said.  
  
"I have to come to your school," Philippa whispered to me.  
  
I laughed. "You should've brought Sirius," I told James, "he could have made mincemeat of these two."  
  
James smiled. "Hmm."  
  
"Is he your brother?" Linda asked eagerly.  
  
"No - his best friend," I explained. "His very annoying best friend."  
  
There was a whine from behind me. I turned. The dog from outside was sitting in the pew, looking, if it was possible, highly indignant. James swung round too, and frowned. "I'll move him," he said, standing up and leading the dog down the church.  
  
My cousins watched him. "Why is he talking to the dog?" asked Philippa.  
  
"God knows," I sighed. "He's just mad."  
  
"But he is so good-looking," Philippa sighed.  
  
"Sexy," Linda said, watching as he returned. "But taken. How unfair. Lily, would you share?"  
  
"Sorry," I said, "I bet he'd be thrilled, but no."  
  
He slid back into the seat beside me. "It's sitting at the back," he said in answer to my question. "I didn't have time to get it out, but it'll behave now."  
  
I mouthed 'Magic?' at him, and he nodded. I sat back, satisfied, as the organs began to strike up the wedding march.  
  
"So that was a muggle wedding," James said lazily as we stood outside after the ceremony. "Your sister didn't look half bad."  
  
I shot him a look, and he laughed. "I didn't say she looked anywhere near as good as you. I was trying to be generous!"  
  
I smiled. "All right, all right. It's probably fair."  
  
We chatted to many of the people there, James glibly making up lies about muggle things he was supposed to have done. Only a question about the theory of nuclear physics had his face going blank, and then he tossed it away as 'Sorry, I was never very good at physics.' Later he hissed at me "What's nookaley fishic?" and I laughed.  
  
We left just before Petunia and Vernon. I went back round the side of the church and transfigured a brick into the Complete Works of Shakespeare, with gold leaf trimming, and wrapped it. James eyed it. "Would she really want that?"  
  
"Trust me, it'll look good on a shelf in her lounge for visitors. She'll love it." I chased back round to the front of the building. "Petunia!"  
  
She looked round warily. "Hello, Lily."  
  
"Your present," I said. "I'm afraid we have to Appa - er, leave, now. You look wonderful," I said.  
  
She smiled. "Thank you, Lily. Vernon! Come here, dear!"  
  
Vernon came over and gave me a suspicious look.  
  
"We're - that is, James and I - are leaving now," I said sweetly. "Have a great honeymoon."  
  
I felt, rather than saw, James fight back a smirk. Vernon looked at him over my shoulder. "Thank you for coming, Lily and, er -"  
  
"Potter," James said. "James Potter."  
  
"Potter."  
  
"Yes," twittered Petunia, spotting one of her friends coming over. "You'd better go, then. Thank you for the present. You must visit some time," she said, looking at me slightly more warmly than normal. I nodded, though I didn't particularly fancy the idea.  
  
"Yes, well, goodbye," I said. "I'll ring you sometime."  
  
"You use a telephone?" asked Vernon.  
  
James grinned. "Come on, Lils, gotta go."  
  
We hurried off round the side of the church for the last time. The dog appeared yet again, looked up as we arrived and clearly rolled its eyes, then tapped its paw.  
  
"OK, OK, sorry," James muttered inexplicably. "We got held up. Let's go." We Disapparated.  
  
"James, that dog's still here."  
  
"Ah, yes. Oh dear. Never mind."  
  
"James, we can't just take him into school."  
  
"No - no, stay here, there's a good dog." James took my hand and we moved off at a fast pace.  
  
"Why are we running?"  
  
"No reason. Just... in case the dog followed us."  
  
"I see." He was behaving very oddly, but I decided to ignore it. "So, Potter, do you use a telephone?"  
  
He grinned. "No, I use Floo, but he doesn't need to know that. I do know how to use one, unlike him. Well. I mean, of course, he knows how to use a telephone, but he couldn't use Floo."  
  
"No," I agreed.  
  
"Not that I can imagine anything much more terrifying than have his head appear in my fire. Do we have to go and visit them?"  
  
"You don't."  
  
He gave me a strange look. "I guess not."  
  
A few minutes after we returned to the common room, Sirius tumbled through the portrait hole after us. "So I'm very annoying?" he demanded of me.  
  
I laughed. "Yes!"  
  
He smiled too. "I suppose I can be. But honestly, you don't go round telling hot chicks that!"  
  
My eyes narrowed. "What? Hang on... Sirius, how do you know I told anyone that you were very annoying?"  
  
His face fell and James groaned.  
  
"What have you done now?" I asked dangerously.  
  
"It's - well, see, it's like this, Lily," Sirius said awkwardly. "I think you'd better come up to the boys' dorm."


	41. Chapter 41 Finis

A/N: And so. We reach the end of what turned into quite an epic! I would never have guessed that it would end up 41chapters long! This seems quite fitting really, as yesterday was the end of term (and I got asked out by a 22 year old!!!!) and this is the end of a 6 month era. ok. thanx to Invisible Voice, bloomz-baby, no-comment-carissa (no, soz!), Yellow Crayon (no worries), mintandsage, EmeraldEyedCutie, CanadianBlueberries (yep, that'll do!), hideyoo, PriBAngel (oh dear. I hope it was not confirmed, whatever it was), Red-Emerald (yeh, tho they'll hav to fall out some time cos obviously, in the real books, there is animosity!), slytherinphoenix7 (lol), Oliverwoodschic, Laura Johnson (yikes!), James&Lily Lover (ur so sweet, thanx!), itsRAEninmem, HedwigSasso (yeh we r good friends. most of the time! we are fifteen.), dont-give-me-a-pen (GOD some ppl are so thick!!! havnt they READ the actual BOOK?!), angel-dolphin1, Fantasy of Wonder (yes i knew, how exciting?! crap title tho.), CaronaCALIgurl (yeh it is just a sorta metaphor. ie the balloon is james' head and lily has the 'drawing pin' with which to burst his over-inflated ego), Tinkerbellhp07 and kat. Oh, and EgyptsStar by email. :D  
  
And thank you to anyone who has ever reviewed, or even just read, this story! u all rock.  
  
B/N: subliminal message: Sev is a gorgeous god. WORSHIP HIM!!! Eeeeek!!! Lourdaise is scary when she roars! hides behind chair Anyways, this is the last chapter... sniffs Wow! I didn't realise so many people like this story! Hopefully Lourdaise can do more over the summer – today was our last day at school before the holidays!!! Joy! Now all I need to do is explain the 'D' in the middle of my report to my parents... winces Thanks to: Emerald Eyed Cutie (being mad is FUN); Invisible Voice (shut up? Moi? Would I ever? ...you cannot do anything. I am the bearer of cookie dough...); Fantasy of Wonders; Hedwig Sasso (how old are we? Read our bio! We've been making coffins for 53 years. Oh yes); Laura Johnson (Me? Get along with an 'inner nutcase'? ...of course I would!!! As long as Bob likes Sev, that is...) and everyone else who's reviewed without dissing Sev along the way. Love you! (and Sev) Did you know, Lourdaise actually said she was going to show her mother this!?! Including the Mills-and-Boon chapter 32!!! (All I can say is: if her mother reads it, a fellow author of mine will find her entrails are no longer her intrails but her outtrails...) ...now, watch Lourdaise roar! (ducking for cover is recommended)...  
  
A/N: actually I am not roaring. bcos i just had to paste it in. but if a roar is wanted then... RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR there. :D  
  
Chapter 41  
  
"And that is why that dog was stalking me," James said, as Sirius concluded his explanation. "He, er, wanted to see the wedding."  
  
"You're an Animagus," I said weakly.  
  
"Yes," Sirius agreed. "So is he, though!"  
  
James coughed. "And Peter."  
  
I stifled a laugh. Surprised as I was, things began to fall into place. "So that's where the nicknames come from. What are you, Prongs?"  
  
"Me? A stag."  
  
"And Peter?"  
  
They both grinned identical, wicked grins. "A rat."  
  
I snorted with laughter. "A rat? Oh dear. And Rem?"  
  
They exchanged glances. "He's not an Animagus," James said.  
  
"He did say you could tell Lily," Sirius said.  
  
James nodded. "He's a - werewolf."  
  
But of course he was. Why hadn't I worked it out myself? I let out a shaky breath. "Poor thing..."  
  
This was clearly not the reaction they had expected. "What?"  
  
"Well, it must be awful. I guess that's why he always looks so miserable when we talk about careers, and why he doesn't think he can have a girlfriend. And why he's ill so often."  
  
James stared. "What about careers?"  
  
"It's almost impossible for werewolves to get good jobs," I said. "Surely you know that?"  
  
They shook their heads. "But Remus is amazing," Sirius protested.  
  
"No matter. There are certain laws."  
  
They both looked shocked. "Why didn't we know this?" James said weakly.  
  
"Because you were too busy looking after him now," I said. "I would never have dreamt you two had it in you."  
  
They laughed slowly. Suddenly the door swung open and Remus appeared. "Hi guys. Lily, what are you doing in here?"  
  
"We had to tell her about the Animagi thing. And, er, you," Sirius explained.  
  
His eyes moved swiftly to me, but there was no need for him to try and gauge my feeling. I ran at him and threw my arms round him. "Oh, Remus..."  
  
I heard a yelp from James, and turned. "For God's sake, James! I'm not - not snogging him!"  
  
Remus began to shake with laughter. "Never would I have thought I'd see James so possessive of a girl." He hugged me back briefly, then let me go. "So you don't mind," he said in tones of relief.  
  
"Of course not!"  
  
He shrugged. "It's impossible to guess who will and who won't. Particularly now, when everyone associates dark creatures with Voldemort. And I am, essentially, a dark creature..."  
  
I shook my head. "It's your personality that makes you what you are."  
  
He smiled. "And that's exactly what the Sorting Hat told me when I said it had better put me in Slytherin."  
  
"You asked to be put with Snape?" Sirius said incredulously, and we all laughed.  
  
At last the end of term arrived. On our last evening, I went down to the Leaving Feast with streaming eyes. Nearly Headless Nick, our house ghost, patted me on the head, which was extremely uncomfortable. James and I had to make a speech, and I couldn't help but be suspicious as I saw he and Sirius exchange mischievous glances.  
  
"And to conclude my speech," James finished, "I would just like to remind all the Professors why they were concerned when I was made Head Boy, and why, in fact, everybody was so amazed. I'm afraid there is no counter to this spell, but it will wear off by next term!" He waved his wand, there was a loud bang, and practically all he and Sirius' pranks from the last seven years seemed to roll into one around us. The house tapestries turned to cartoons and began strolling round the hall; weather effects were playing across the ceiling; the walls and tables were flashing multi- coloured; Professor Dumbledore's hat began to sing and in the middle of it all, the Slytherin table began to dance and Snape's hair began to grow upwards into a greasy pom-pom.  
  
"Have a great summer!" James yelled over the uproar as he sat down again. I buried my head in my hands in despair, and then I felt myself levitated in the air.  
  
"And three cheers for the best Heads Hogwarts has ever had!" Sirius shouted, his voice magically magnified.  
  
"We didn't plan this!" James protested, but the whole school, laughing, cheered along with Sirius. Even Professor McGonagall was in high spirits, chuckling at Dumbledore's hat. Only Snape, who was the focus of many jeers, was not cheering. And then Sirius flicked his wand, and James and I slammed into one another. "Sirius!" James roared, but I had a feeling I knew what he wanted before he would let us down.  
  
"Just kiss me," I muttered, blushing already.  
  
James looked surprised. "Gladly."  
  
The catcalling and whooping rung in my ears for the rest of the day.  
  
As we left the Gryffindor tower for the last time the next morning, I was hit by inspiration. "Hang on." I took out my wand. "Um, Fat Lady?"  
  
She smiled. "Yes?"  
  
"If you were to have a present, what would you like?"  
  
She considered. "Anything. I don't get many."  
  
"OK..." I waved my wand, and a box of chocolates appeared beside her. "To remember me," I said as she gasped, and then I dragged my trunk out after me, smiled at her, and hurried after James.  
  
Professor Dumbledore was seeing off the seventh years in the Entrance Hall. He grinned when he saw James, and indicated his hat which was no longer singing.  
  
"I have two hats," he explained as James' jaw dropped.  
  
"Oh, now that's cheating, Professor," I said unexpectedly. "Cantato!"  
  
"Lily!" James gasped as the hat began to whistle. "I didn't know you had it in you."  
  
Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Oh, I did," he said resignedly. "Never mind. I am quite sure we'll be seeing each other quite soon - and James, you'll be at the World Cup next summer, I'm guessing?"  
  
James flushed crimson. "How did you know that? I haven't told anyone!"  
  
"I have ways. Chaser for England... not bad, not bad at all..."  
  
I gaped. "James! That's amazing!"  
  
He shrugged. "Well... I don't know if I'll accept... it doesn't seem very worthy, now."  
  
Dumbledore shook his head. "There'll be plenty of opportunity for you to do worthy things, James. You and all your friends. There has to be some light relief for the wizarding world, and Quidditch seems as good a relief as any. And I hope to see entertainment by Sirius..."  
  
I laughed, and James grinned wickedly. "Nice one, Professor... I'll remember."  
  
"Good. And equally, I hope for an invitation to any... forthcoming ceremonies! Kindly make them wizard style." He winked and moved away, chuckling.  
  
James and I stood frozen, staring after him.  
  
"I guess we'd better go," I said at last. "Don't want to miss the train."  
  
He nodded. "Yes."  
  
I cast one last look round the hall as a student, brushed away a final tear, and headed out of the door after him.  
  
FIN 


End file.
